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Name: Chelseagrace

[ Original Post ]

My name is Chelsea and I feeel I have an out of control 4 year old.
He doesnt liste if you tell him to stop he wont and he will scream or cuss or Roar
like a dinosaur. He always has to have it his way or he will throw a fit.
Never will he stop when he is told NEVER its just over and over
and if I spank him he will laugh. There are times when he can be the sweetest
little boy but that doesnt last long.
Sometimes I feel like im talk to someone older, he seems inteligent beyond his
years, but he just doesnt wanna listen, he wont stop..he just keeps on
no matter what I do punish him, spank him, time out
nothing works and I am persistant.
I know his problems are my fault, I had him all by myself till he was 3 after
that his other grandparents started helping me, so he goes back and forth alot
but now hes getting where he wants to stay over there more, and I know its cause
he gets his way, but it hurts, hes not the boy I know, and when he screams and
goe out of control I just dont know what to do.
His father hasnt really been in his life at all and when he does come around he ignores Noah
completly.
It also seems like Noah always wants to be eating. Eating or disobeying
or hitting the dog or my sister.
Everyone says hes just being a 4 year old, but the way he talk and the joy he
gets out of not listening its just to much. I dont know what to do
anymore. I really really need help. Nobody wants to admitt something is wrong,
and I know I am probably to blame because I had him young.
Noah gets alot of love I dont think thats the problem..
I need to know what I can do, Im so sick of yelling and spanking nothing is working
..please please help.. Should I go to a certain kind of doctor,
because his family doctor doesnt think it is a big problem, but I feel it is. ↓

Name: been there | Date: Sep 11th, 2009 3:20 PM

Look into the holding method for your child. It is non violent. Pick one place in your house like a quiet out of the way corner or stairway. Always go to the same spot. When he is out of control take him to the spot without being angry or meanly aggressive and hold him tight to you on your lap. He should be facing forward so that he cannot hit or bite you. Hold his arms and legs. Tell him in a loving way that he is not allowed to hurt you or hurt himself. Tell him that you love him but you do not like his behaviour. Tell him that you will not let him go until he says he understands and will not do the behaviour that you are not liking again. Sometimes you have to sit there for awhile. At first he will scream and yell and try to get out of your arms. Just reassure him that you love him and that he is not allowed to hurt people with words or physically.
Make sure his diet is not filled with sugar, artificial junk etc...he may be eating to deal with anxiety or restlessness or because his body is looking for something that is missing...vitamin and mineral deficiencies can really affect a child. An allergy to a food can also cause erratic behaviour.
The single parent with child is the most difficult relationship out there. He relies on you for everything and will push all the boundaries to make sure you are always there for him. Listen to him. Try to be consistent if you can. There is nothing easy about being a parent. ↑