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Name: Sandra
[ Original Post ]
I was with my childs father on and off for about 5 years. I come to find out when i was pregnant before and during he was cheating on me. i wanted him to have know part in this childs life. I later come around and we reconcile and i find out a month before the woman is due he tells me he got her pregnant and is moving in with her. What shoul i do, what can i do.
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Name: amy | Date: Oct 17th, 2009 6:19 PM
It hurts but you have to move on. Sandra in life we have to make some difficult choices which can either hinder us or make us grow. Allow this horrible circumstance make you grow. You are a strong women to even reconcile with him in the first place. Pray and ask God to heal your heart. Be strong for your child. I went through a similar situation, moved on. Needless to stay the relationship between my baby daddy and young lady are not together at all, and he is still a bum. 

Name: jazzyfaye | Date: Oct 20th, 2009 3:00 AM
i too have been through this.. not once... but twice.. 1st time I was married and he cheated and got her pregnant... years later I was with my two boys father... and he too cheated (many times) and I later found out he had a 4 year old daughter. she is basically in the middle of my two boys. It was devastating and i won't lie.. i felt as though I was superwoman and I could "once again" forgive. But, I can't let go. It has taken a long time for me to get over it as I was with him 8 years. I have his two boys and he is very manipulating. But, I have come to finally realize I am never going to change him and i don't deserve that. men who cheat are rarely going to change. it takes a miracle or something very big to change a person like this. love yourself and your child/dren and sooner or later your pain will start going away. I PROMISE! Good luck. I hope this helps. 

Name: Brandi | Date: Nov 6th, 2009 9:24 PM
Im in this situation right now. My daughters father and I were college sweethearts. We lived together for 7 years, and seperated when out daughter was 2 years old. After that we were on and off for about a year, but after awhile, I couldn't take all the 'other women'. One even emailed me to leave her man alone...?!?!? Anywho, it was really hard to stop having sex with him, as at one time I equated each intimate activity a sign that we were going to get back together. We hadn't had sex in over a year after that, but were still reallllly close...God I love(d) him. This past Tuesday, he told me that he had a 3 month old daughter. I've pretty much lost it. I had NO IDEA that he had even been in a relationship. Men like him are VERY manipulative, and will do and say anything to make THEIR lives simpler. I'm slowly accepting what's happening, but the distance and tension between us is stifling. Our friendship is forever altered. I dont know, it sucks, but it's a blessing. I could have been chasing after this man for the better part of my life (im 27now) But I'm grateful for the opportunities that will come from this. In just one week, I have registered for school (night and weekend courses) I'm heading in the right direction..and will not look back. He is in over his head at this point, and the only thing that matters is our child together. She will not be lost in this mess. 

Name: Julie | Date: Nov 9th, 2009 5:04 AM
My sons father got a women pregnant 2 months before me. I found out in July when I was 5 almost 6 months pregnant. I also found out then that he had many other women the whole time we were together and that there was a chance he had other kids out there. I ended it right then and there. I havent heard from him since, in fact he doesnt even know his son is here. But I am ok with that, as I want nothing to do with him and I dont want my son growing up to think that type of behavior is ok.

It was and still is hard because I loved and trusted him and he didnt feel the same way about me. After everything I found out it was easy for me to know what to do. He really made the choice for me. You need to think about whats best for you and your child. Do you want him in your childs life? Does he even want to be in your childs life? But I think you need to move on. You and no other women deserves to be in this kind of sitution, you deserve better then that. Its hard to do but moving on is the best idea. 

Name: Amber | Date: Jan 15th, 2010 7:29 AM
I am going through this right now :( My daughter was born October 28th and only 2 months old and he got someone else pregnant already! :( 

Name: Passie | Date: Jan 29th, 2010 9:35 AM
hey Sandra,

Sorry to hear you're going through it. I'm in a similar situation to you.
I have a 5 year old with my on & off again child's father, who swears up and down he loves me and wants us to be a family.
Last week I get a call from a woman claiming to have 2 kids for him, younger than my daughter and apparently he's even had sex with her in my home.
He's been living with his secret family for a while now and although I've asked him over and over if he's seeing anyone else he's denied it over & over.
The woman wants me to know about them coz as she was sure he hadn't told me. Of course she was right, we were still sleeping together from time to time, so hearing this hurt.
Partly coz our little one's amazing and when kids love their dads like that it makes you wanna try to work it out.

I'm still in shock, but am determined to walk away for mine and my little girl's sake.
The deception and lies are unbearable. It's hard figure out how anyone could be so selfish and deceitful.

I've felt sick since she called me and I know the best thing for me to do right now is to take care of my feelings and focus on moving on.
Any man who can do this has a major problem and deserves to be kicked to the curb.
I feel so angry right now, because if I knew about the other woman sooner I could've made a choice to stop seeing him and avoided all this pain.
The woman wanted to draw me into their lives, but I've decided to move on and just look out for my kid and me.
Life too short to waste anymore time on slime ball liars.
If he wants to make the effort to visit with his child I'll arrange it but otherwise I won't reach out to him.

I feel like a fool, but know it's really for the best as he's extremely manipulative and hasn't even been helping me take care of his kid.

I think you'd do best to move on and do the same Sandra and save yourself & child. We'd most likely waste our whole lives waiting for guys like these to change their ways. Plus the sooner we do it, the less influence it will have on our kids as I wouldn't want my baby girl thinking it was ok to date guys like her dad who doesn't treat us with the respect and loyalty we deserve.

Thanks for letting me vent....
I hope this helped. 

Name: Sarahsosad | Date: Feb 23rd, 2010 8:02 PM
Hi my name is sarah, me & the father of my 2 year old son have been together 6 years! but the summer of 09 we broke up for two months :,( and at that time my son was a year anyway, the two months we werent together he was with a hoe from our town (yes she really is she has many children and dose not know who their fathers are...) anyway he kept bugging me and after those two months of him begging i took him back, in october his x tells us shes having his baby!!!! i go bananas but my babys father crys and crys and begs me to forgiven him so yes i have. but what do i do about this other womans accusations???? please some one help..... i know its strange that i forgive him but i do know he dosent care for her and he has showed me in his own way he is sorry. the same day they broke up she was with another guy??? ssoo what do i believe some one help pleas 

Name: ebony | Date: Apr 22nd, 2010 11:09 PM
i was with my exboyfriend for 10mths.first time i got pregnant by him was back in january2010,and he threw me across a room.he has a little girl already,plus i have 2 kids of my own.we always talk about gettin pregnant,and now am pregnant again ,and he wont even pick up his phone.i called him oneday to tell him that i was in the hosptial,and he never called me back.im scared of raising another child by myself.i dont wont to seem selfish,but at this point i dont know what to do?im ashame to say that i have had ALOT of abortions.i feel like this could be my lil girl that i always wanted,but i dont wont to have three different child fathers,plus have a new baby with no one.i dont understand how someone can be so cruel.i dont wont a relationship with him or anything like that,i just want for my baby to have two parents.i dont know what to do, and im getting bigger everyday.i cry myself to sleep evey night,cause after everything we been threw ,after me being so in loove with this man,how could he do this to me.i have great realtionships with my other kids fatres and thats what i want with him,but i just dont see it happening.should i get abortion?please someone help me. 

Name: Cayralynn | Date: May 12th, 2010 7:33 PM
This happened to me 

Name: Tinyb | Date: May 12th, 2010 9:47 PM
My boyfriend of 12 years just broke up with me 3 months ago for another woman and I think she having his baby. I have three kids by his and now he don't even call. MEN ARE DOGS. 

Name: matt1 | Date: May 15th, 2010 12:04 PM
sorry to hear that Tinyb. Can I email you? 

Name: karen | Date: May 19th, 2010 5:03 AM
The betrayal, the hurt, the questions… Has our whole relationship been a lie? How could the man I have been married to for 10 years do this? What about our children?

It has now been 8 years since the babysitter had her bastard child...the bitch. Yes, he decided to sleep with the woman holding my babies while I worked! And it was her intention to get pregnant, with the help of my “so called” loving husband.

I should have divorced his pathetic ass 8 years ago. The only reason I didn't was because of our children. I thought they should have their father. So I stayed with him for the sake of our children, but was it a mistake to do so?

By staying with him I have lost a "piece" of myself. I am incapable of loving and respecting such a despicable, stupid, little man. When he speaks, my skin crawls. I cannot stand to look at him. I wish him dead, dead, and gone. I truly hate him.

My advice....get out and never look back. 

Name: Andrew | Date: May 26th, 2010 4:01 PM
OMG i know that feeling, hang in there baby, Im rasing my daughter on my own an when i heard the news my ex was pregnant it almost killed me .....
but im trying to keep strong an keep telling myself im to good for her anyway 

Name: mehdi | Date: Jun 2nd, 2010 5:51 PM

Name: karen | Date: Jun 3rd, 2010 8:14 PM
Hi Andrew - You are probably right about being too good for her. The fact that you are raising your daughter by yourself, speaks volumes about her character. What kind of a woman selects to be away from her child? ...the kind that you do not need, or want around. All the best to you and your daughter. 

Name: danielle | Date: Jun 15th, 2010 5:04 AM
I'm relived to hear that other women are goint threw the same thing as me but my wound is still fresh I'm 7 months pregnant and I'm a soldier in the army so is my baby daddy we dated 4 10 months and was 2gether 24/7 wen we weren't training. We talked about having kids n gettin married we went home and met each others families and all that crap so I finally got pregnant 3 months into my pregnany he started 2 distance hiself from me....I found out he was cheating on me and that he had got another girl who is a civilian pregnant this women already has a 7 yr old daughter and I think she knows about me ...I use 2 talk 2 my bdads mother but she started acting very stupid and immature after a while my bdad said he wanted a dna test I haven't slept wit anyone else but him but lately I've hidden myself they kant contact me only threw facebook dats da only way he can contact me not call or anything now he has 2 kids on the way and I feel like killing myself it hurts so bad I don't know wat 2 do..I didn't do anything for him 2 leave me...I don't understand how someone could be so cruel...I pray a lot for god 2 ease my pain but nothin works....I have no 1 to talk 2 cause my friends get tired of me talking about it..I'm 25 yrs old and I feel like my life is over I'm even dropping out of the army cuz I'm 2 depressed to get deployed.... I really need someone to talk 2 someone I can relate to

[email protected] 

Name: karen | Date: Jun 22nd, 2010 6:49 AM
Hi danielle - I am so sorry for your pain. At 25 your life is just beginning; please do not let a loser destroy you. He truely is not worth it. 

Name: nicksmom0205 | Date: Jun 23rd, 2010 11:13 PM
Sorry it seems so many people have to go through this. My son's father has never met him in 6 years. I found out he was cheating and had another woman pregnant at the same time, needless to say I dumped him. I did not have anything to do with his choice not to see his son he just never bothered to see him. sorry for anyone having to go through this but you can make it, and it will make you a stronger better person. Good luck 

Name: izabell | Date: Jun 24th, 2010 12:42 PM
i got pregnant by this guy he was my best friend. he has a baby mother that he has been with for 13 years and he has 2 sons by her, she started using drugs and they took the kids away from her and gave them to his mother. when i came out pregnant it hert her alot. i didnt mean to heart her. he was there for me till she started using drugs again and he said he wanted to help her. he left monday last week monday and i havent heard from him. He hasnt even called me its been a week now. i know hes fine because people have seen him with her. i dont know what to do im 6 months pregnant. i changed my number so that he wont call me but he knows where i live, I think i should go on with my life and forget. 

Name: lisa | Date: Jul 3rd, 2010 8:25 PM

Name: lis | Date: Jul 3rd, 2010 9:52 PM
hello ladies, i feel i can relate to most of you and im very sorry we r all going through this, i am in a similar situation. I am currently 7 months preganant with my first child, me and my baby father have only been dating for 9 months and that is the lenght of time we knew each other, so for me to be preganant so soon has been very hard on both of us. He already has 3 children from he previouse relationship with his other baby mother, they have a 6 year old daughter and twin girls. i did not know about this other family when i first met him and found out when i was already pregnant, i have had an abortion before and it really effected me in a negative way so i didnt want to put myself throught that again, at first he said he did not want anything to do with me or the baby, and i was fine with that i had made my choice and was sticking to it. After he realized i was seriouse he said he wanted to work things out with me, at the time he was still living with his other babies mother, we started our raltionship and it has been very stresstful, i feel that i can never trust him, i feel that they are still sleeping with each other because they have been together for so long, he is very good at covering things up (like his secreat family) and she is not the type of woman to make things difficult for him, i feel that they are both playing me, i am hurt by all this because i have been faithful to this man the whole time, recently i have had suspicions that she is now preganant and about to have an abortion, i have no proof of this but i feel that this is all going on behind my back. i decided i wanted nothing to do with all this drama anymore and kicked him out of my house and droped everything off at his babies mother house where he was living before he started living with me. its been a couple of days and he is still denying it all and saying im just crazy and insecure, he claims he loves me and is only there because i kicked him out. i am usually a very strong independant woman and dont put up with any of this sort of thing, but my emotions have gotten the best of me and my love for him has gorwn so much over the last months that now that he is gone i feel like i miss him terrible, i find myself now begging for him back, feeling empty and lonely with out him. He sais he is angry with me for always accusing him and having no trust and that we need some time, but this whole time he is staying there with her and their family and it is really getting to me because if he wasent sleeping with her before, he most certainly is now. I feel that i am settling and even though i know in my heart that i will have to share him with her and probably other women, i am not strong eneough to let go. Any advice? 

Name: why me | Date: Jul 30th, 2010 2:45 AM
i need help 

Name: JOHN | Date: Aug 15th, 2010 8:44 PM

Name: Nisha | Date: Aug 31st, 2010 5:13 AM
I was with this guy...he had two kids already...he told me he was single and was very convincingly. I ended up pregnant. He never was really interested in the baby even when I was pregnant. I found out when I was 7months that he was indeed in a relationship with his baby's mother, but stayed with her and she was also pregnant due a month before me. I let him go immediately. He wasn't there when I had the baby but I allowed him to come see him. He only seen him 2x since he's been born. He's never brought nothin for him or come to see him or even call. How could he turn his back on my son but take care of his other kids??? How could he just not want my son??? How could he not feel nothin for him or love him??? Somebody plez help me understand so I can move on with my life 

Name: hillary | Date: Sep 4th, 2010 4:16 PM
im 4 months pregnant im 15yrs old and my babys father got his ex pregnant and never had the balls to tell me..when i found out i was upset..she is 6 or 7 months pregnant and she is 19 im scared and kinda abit jealous idk what to do im in love with him but dont want to be a step mom to a kid i dont really want to...and when my kid comes im thinking bout taking it away from him is that a good decision 

Name: Krystle | Date: Sep 18th, 2010 2:05 PM
Hi can someone please tell me something I left my baby dad a wail ago and he's trying to find me do I have to tell him were I live thanks 

Name: Diane | Date: Oct 20th, 2010 2:33 PM
I have recently gone through what most of you have. I've been with my boyfriend and father of my 19 month old daughter for 3 years, and i've come to find out he was cheating on me with a less than desirable woman, she has two kids, cannot take care of them, is on trial for theft, and now to top it off she might be pregnant for him!!! He even brought her into our home, into our bed, i felt devasted!!! I packed my stuff and my daughter and left!! I love him tremenously, we had a great family life, now what!!?? I don't want him back but how does one move past this pain!! 

Name: Anna | Date: Nov 14th, 2010 8:10 PM
Hey my mane is Anna; i have been with my daughter's father for 5 years, during our relationship we were fighting a lot. we broke up last summer, and he started seeing other women,. Now he is asking me to give him time to break up with these women, so that we can be a family again. I do not know what to do. 

Name: Bridgette | Date: Dec 7th, 2010 2:02 AM
A Man is going to want what hes going to Get, As for us Woman Were left in Pain, But yet Were the ones That our Strong, You Dont Need Him, Hes Worthless And from whaat you said, Yes He Knocked another Woman up, Is He Going to Stay with her Forever...NO.. Move On, Theres a Real Man Out there, That God Will run you Into, Fck Him, Good Luck 

Name: babymonii1 | Date: Dec 24th, 2010 8:32 AM
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Name: Mud Creek | Date: Jan 1st, 2011 3:07 PM
I have 3 women pregnant right now ..two inwhich I have children by already ... I will take care of my responsiblities ..I don't blame anyone or try to run from my situations 

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