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My ex has had a girlfriend for the past few months. He said they're not really serious. Lately my 3 year old has been coming home from his house(he has her 1 day a week,not overnight) and says that the girlfriend has been minding her, that her dad had gone out. I don't feel comfortable about this. I suppose I feel a bit jealous that some other woman is bringing my child out,when she could be with me.The way I see it is she goes to his house to spend time with him. If he isn't going to be with her the whole time she should be a home with me. What do you think? ↓
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| Name: amyt | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 8:34 AM |
| i agree with you i feel in my posistion i would stop allowing her to go. ↑ |
| Name: molly-may | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 12:30 PM |
| I think you need to sit down with your ex and tell him how you feel. Maybe you can choose a day in the week when he doesn't have to be out doing anything. Tell him to take your child with him. I understand where you are coming from, that you wouldn't want another woman raising your child. Remember she knows who her mother is and she is going to love you just the same. I am sure that this is not going to be the first girlfriend, but maybe you should get to know the girlfriend so you dont feel bad when she goes to visit. Good Luck! ↑ |
| Name: ness2003 | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 4:13 PM |
| Thanks for your advice. I was thinking about asking him to meet up next week to discuss these issues (sometime our daughter isn't around). It just feels strange that she is spending so much time with someone who isn't related to her, when I'd be happy to have her all the time!! ↑ |
| Name: Sheila | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 4:21 PM |
| I understand cuz I went through the same thing.... You have to realize that he's going to move on... and so will you at some point! I agree that it sucks that you send your child over to see him and he sometimes leaves the kid to spend time with his new girlfriend! But there are things in this childs life that is out of your hands!! If you have joint custody all you have to do is make sure that your ex will take good care of your child and not put your child in harms way! Hopefully you have faith in his parent making decisions ...And just worry about controlling situations that you can for now.... If you don't do this you will drive yourself crazy!! It's an emotional rollercoaster at first and it will get better... try to relax! ↑ |
| Name: goongirl1 | Date: Sep 25th, 2006 6:43 AM |
| Your child is 3 years old and is being supervised by someone you dont know-bottom line...and If he isnt spending time with his child while he has her...why is your daughter going over there in the first place? I'd give yur ex a talkin to...! ↑ |
| Name: ness2003 | Date: Sep 25th, 2006 9:33 PM |
| Thanks for your mail!! I've arranged to meet up with him so I can have a word with him while our daughter isn't there. I don't want her to stop seeing him but at the same time I want her to be safe. So I'll see how it goes!! ↑ |
| Name: lash5674 | Date: Sep 26th, 2006 4:19 AM |
| You cannot control what he does when it's his time to have his child, assuming this arrangement is a court order. I'm assuming he pays child support? If not, you need to get that straight. Express how you feel to him about leaving your daughter with his girlfriend and trust that he will make the right decision. But move on with your life and don't let what he does determine your happiness. Protect your child and above all listen to her. ↑ |
| Name: ness2003 | Date: Sep 26th, 2006 8:42 PM |
| I have custody, he only has a few hours access to spend time with her. The girl hasn't been on the scene for long, concerned about her safety,don't know her. I talked to him today. He understands my concerns,and has promised to be there 100percent of the time he has here. Will also meet the girlfriend in a few weeks to put my mind at rest. I have moved on with my life, not jealous about him and her at all. He treated me v bad and I broke up with him. I want him to be a part of my daughter's life, but most of all I want her to be safe. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Sep 26th, 2006 11:23 PM |
| Technically when it's his turn to have her he can leave her with anyone he wants. My brothers ex wife told the judge that my brother wasn't spending time with their daughter and instead was having me or my mom take her and the judge said my brother could put her with a babysitter the entire time if he wanted to because it was HIS TIME to do with her as he wished.But in your situation beings they aren't even married,i agree with you that the child would be better off at home with you if her dads not going to be around. If you have to still let him have her then maybe it would help you to get to know the girlfriend a little. I know you don't want to but if your daughter is going to be spending time with this person then you might feel more comfortable knowing what kind of person she is. Who knows,she might be better off with the girlfriend looking after her than with her dad when she can't be with you! I know you probably don't like the idea but it's for your daughters sake and your peace of mind. Invite her to lunch and get to know her a little,you and she might get to be friends,you never know! ↑ |
| Name: vanilla | Date: Sep 27th, 2006 6:30 AM |
| I THINK THE SAME THANG BUT FIRST YOU SHOULD TALK TA HIM AND LET HIM KNOW THAT YOUR AWARE OF WHATS GOIN ON AND THAT YOU DONT LIKE IT SO MAYBE HE CAN SEE HOW YOU FILL ABOUT IT IIGHT GOD BLESS ↑ |
| Name: adr321 | Date: Sep 30th, 2006 10:43 PM |
| If you are going through the court system for visitation you need to tell them that your ex is not visiting with your child. That defeats the purpose of visitation. The new g.f. Doesn’t need visitation with your child your ex does! ↑ |
| Name: lil_dancer77 | Date: Oct 1st, 2006 9:39 PM |
How do you deal with the fact he has a new girlfriend? Did it take a while to get over him? How did you do it.??? I dunno if i can get over my babies daddy...
however i do agree with you, if he is not making to effort then he should not get the chance to be with your child. Your child is so important she is not a toy and she needs a reliable male role model in her life and if he cant be that then its time to walk away. ↑ |
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