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My kids are going to be back at school soon but I have just started a new full time job. I am a single mother and can't really afford to hire a full-time (or even part time) nanny. My kids are 12 and 10, and I was wondering if any of you out there think this is old enough to be home on your own. I work until 5, and school's over at 3, so they would be on their own for a couple of hours, at least. Any tips from other single parents would be great! ↓
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| Name: qtpie | Date: Aug 9th, 2005 3:03 PM |
| As long as the 12 year old is around, I think they could be left on their own. For the days when the 12 year old isn't coming home, could you make other arrangements for the 10 year old? Maybe go to a neighbours or friends house after school? ↑ |
| Name: yasmine | Date: Aug 9th, 2005 8:57 PM |
| I think that 12 and 10 is still kind of young, but it depends on the personality of the kids themselves. If your kids are well-behaved and not too into making trouble, you could probably leave them on their own. They will probably enjoy the freedom and gain some independence too. If your kids are a little less mature or reliable, than i wouldn't risk it. Find another alternative. ↑ |
| Name: preggers | Date: Aug 11th, 2005 10:54 PM |
| I agree that it depends on the type of kids you have. Keep this in mind though - they say that kids get into the most trouble and are the most vulnerable to outside influences right after school. If you do decide to let them stay home, be sure to check up on them frequently. Have you looked into any church type day care settings? Perhaps there are some resources in your area for free or very low cost day care just for those couple of hours? What about an after school activity they can attend? Try to think of an alternative before you let them stay home alone. I understand that financially it may not be feasible..believe me, I'm a single mom myself. But exhaust your options first....my 2 cents. ↑ |
| Name: elizabeth | Date: Aug 26th, 2005 7:45 AM |
| you know your children best is a babysitter good for them or is the 12 year old- old enough to deal. ↑ |
| Name: Jane | Date: Aug 27th, 2005 11:45 PM |
| Do they offer any after school programs at there school? Sometimes there are programs that can help you, it depends where you live. I think the world is ugly an people do notice when an adult is not around. ↑ |
| Name: Sara | Date: Aug 28th, 2005 7:31 AM |
Yes Asha, I agree with Jane. Approach your school and see if the teachers can offer advise. That 2 hours is a huge amount of time for young children of 10 and 12, just sit back and try and remember what you got upto without the supervision of an adult.
I am sure there will be activities that you could get them into, alternatively a neighbour, friend or family member may be able to assist if you explain casually that you will be at work soon but there will be a short time gap between your children getting home and you getting home.
I personally think that 10 and 12 is too young, and one thing I remember about coming home from school is that my mum was always home when I walked in, it instilled security in her because I felt that she was always there. She worked too but while I was at school and was never late or missing so I always trusted her. It makes a profound difference to who you are as an adult if you learn key elements like trust when you are younger. ↑ |
| Name: Corey | Date: Aug 29th, 2005 5:34 PM |
| I think they could probably handle it if they are responsible kids. I would go over the rules many times with them and have them call as much as possible at first. ↑ |
| Name: Chay | Date: Sep 4th, 2005 4:20 AM |
| I say put your children in some FREE afterschool program that they will enjoy if you dont feel comfortable leaving them at home alone until you are off work and this gives you some me time on the weekends and down time on weekdays. ↑ |
| Name: Naya | Date: Sep 4th, 2005 11:32 PM |
| Well if you really don't want to leave your kids home alnoe for 2 hours have them do activities after school to occupy the time and if there over at four they most likrly have onlyt half an hour because of the time from school.....and think if you trust them or not. ↑ |
| Name: Jeanne | Date: Oct 1st, 2005 9:52 PM |
| I think your kids will be happier if you can find some sort of activity they can do together with other children. My kid is ten, and he seems up for EVERYTHING these days. So, he goes to an air pistol group and boyscouts and archery. Maybe a Scout group meets at your kids' school --- and even if only one of your kids is the "right" age, maybe there's an understanding parent who will allow both your children to go. See what else is offered after school. I would stay away from lower-income groups because the kids (including mine) seem stressed... I have tried involving other famililes' moms to take my kid home after school, and it worked a bit, but always made me feel off-kilter and like I was imposing (which I was); I also tried leaving my kid alone, but I always felt guilty. Then there would be the inevitable fights when I got home over what simple instruction he didn't follow. Like a man involved with protecting kids said to me, all they (kids) have is school, maybe church, and whatever else you provide. So, it would be this mom's recommendation that you find something for them to do. Especially if it involves them picking up a new skill they can be proud of!!! ↑ |
| Name: Rachel | Date: Nov 26th, 2005 4:19 PM |
| Depending on the state you may want to check the laws... and it also depends on the children and their maturity.... do you have any neighbors you are close to that you could trust to keep an eye out for them.... ? ↑ |
| Name: ant | Date: Dec 9th, 2005 4:53 PM |
| Name: Lauren | Date: Dec 9th, 2005 5:48 PM |
| i am a single mom, my daughter will be 2 in a month, i think it is fine for you to leave them alone, my mom left me alone at that age. ↑ |
| Name: JESS | Date: Dec 17th, 2005 4:43 PM |
| TO CHAT WITH OTHER TEEN MUMS ↑ |
| Name: ROXY | Date: Dec 31st, 2005 3:21 AM |
| HEY IM IN ON THE #12 YEAR OLD BOY OR #13. ↑ |
| Name: Steph | Date: Jan 2nd, 2006 2:22 AM |
| It may be a little late. But, I am so nervous about any child staying alone these days. Too many weirdos out there. The YMCA usually offers afterschool care. They usually have scholarships based on the parent's income. Another option is the Boys and Girls Club. They don't offer childcare. But, it is a safe place for kids to go, usually until 8pm. It requires a small annual membership fee of around $7 per child. They can go there until they are like 18. Then, they can volunteer to supervise the younger kids. I am a single parent too of a 9 year old and a 6 year old. One of them has special needs. So, I don't have many options for him. I would love to see other single moms connect to form networks. ie. roommate, childcare coops and etc. ↑ |
| Name: Tami | Date: Jan 4th, 2006 3:32 AM |
Hii I am new to this and was looking of help on how I would go abouut changing my daughter's name to my new married name. Her birth father is not on her birth certificate, but is court ordered to pay child support.
I would like to know if there is any way I will be able to change her name without him (the birth father).... ↑ |
| Name: emma | Date: Jan 20th, 2006 6:50 PM |
| Name: Ana | Date: Jan 25th, 2006 3:20 AM |
The birth father is legally listed as a parent if he is paying child support, and unfortunately you would need to have your new husband adopt your child for a name change.????
You can "un-officially" change it by using it, and teaching it to your child, but for school/medical records the child will still have the birth fathers last name. ↑ |
| Name: Cheryl | Date: Jan 26th, 2006 11:26 PM |
| See if their school could recommend something. ↑ |
| Name: maggie | Date: Jan 29th, 2006 2:52 AM |
| i would not leave them for a minute by themselfs just think what could happen in a minute. I have a 18 year old daughter with autisum and just to go down stairs to do laundry she get in to things. Look at collages for student boards and post a babysitting jobs there may be a student going to school for early intervention and may need the knowledge hope this helped good luck and give the kids a hug ↑ |
| Name: hannah | Date: Jan 30th, 2006 6:29 PM |
| i am 17 and is a single parent myself connexions have put me on courses they provide a service called care to learn which provide mony for your children to be looked after whilst you are at work i dont know the age group they consider but it might be useful the number is 01384814398/9 in dudley ↑ |
| Name: Sarah Margaret | Date: Feb 13th, 2006 6:37 AM |
| I have a 12 year-old daughter. I don't let her stay home alone but she loves being indepentant and she is very reponsible. I made a deal with her that if she stays home alone, we have to be in town and for no longer than 2 hours. She is fine with that and I trust her. Dont hold on to them forever. They are almost teenagers and they will hate you if you treat them like they are 3. Let them go to the mall by them selves or to the movies, but if you are not willing to take the risk, then just make rules like no longer then 4 hours, or you have to be with at least 1 frined. Just remember what you were like as a kid even thought iems have changed, kids atitudes never do. I would only let the 12 year old stay home alone. I wouldnt let the 10 year old stay home alone unless with a 12 yearold or up. Your Welcome. Bye! ↑ |
| Name: Cathy | Date: Mar 11th, 2006 3:20 AM |
| Name: Jaytease | Date: Mar 15th, 2006 4:04 AM |
| i am a single teenage mother, and i have to go to school and to work. My son is home alone from 3 to 6. I make sure i call him every hour and make sure everything is going okay. ↑ |
| Name: Tina | Date: Mar 16th, 2006 2:50 PM |
| Hi my names Tina I'm a single mother of a soon to be 12 yr. old and a soon to be 6 yr. old and they both fight and won't stop. Krystal ( the oldest) gets annoyed with Cali (youngest) and she want's a boyfriend really badly but she's to afraid to the boy she like's out. Cali is really rotten and thinks she needs everything. She even hits me when I'm in the middle of WAL*MART and I tell her to stop and she won't stop it. The worde that come straight are " I only have to listen to daddy. Not you!" So I say " Then your grounded from your gameboy for three days." Just the other day Krystal spent 4 hours walking around Downs. With her friends so I punished her by making her be a model at Cali's B-Day party. Help what should I do? ↑ |
| Name: John 73 | Date: Mar 19th, 2006 11:11 PM |
| Name: amanda | Date: Mar 22nd, 2006 6:51 PM |
| yes this is old enough to be on their own ↑ |
| Name: Violet | Date: Mar 23rd, 2006 5:04 AM |
My mum left my brother and I alone for a few hours after school when we were 12 and 10, for the first while she hired a highschool girl to babysit us until she was home at five. Highschool students usually can use the extra cash and two hours isnt that bad. You could probably get away with paying her around ten bucks a day or so, depending on what you can afford. If not, try a grandma or Aunt, or even afterschool program.
You may also want to see what they do on their own. Some kids surprise you. Good luck Darling! ↑ |
| Name: Moon | Date: Mar 25th, 2006 8:11 PM |
Check with your local child social service office. They are the ones that set the guidlines of neglect & abuse. They may also have latch-key kid courses that your children can attend in order to prepare themselves. Also, babysitting classes start at age 10 with the Red Cross.
Also if you have a YMCA nearby which offers after school programs.
Another is the park district which has several after school activities.
Check with the children's school for afternoon activities.
One more suggestion is to check with the High School and see if there may be an older student that would like to earn a little extra money after school. They usually don't charge the high fees of an actual day care.
Most day care centers if state funded can offer a sliding scale fee.
My children check in at the neighbors, get the house key, call me at work (leaves a message on voicemail), and stay inside for 1 1/2 - 2 hours. ↑ |
| Name: emma | Date: Apr 15th, 2006 2:49 PM |
| mabye you could let the 12 year old run the household while your gone ↑ |
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