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Name: alissa.adrian
[ Original Post ]
Hi my name is Alissa. I am 15 and have a 4 month old baby boy, the dad is not in the picture at all has not even seen the baby and wasn't there for his birth. It was hard cause I had a c section and the cut is about 12 inches long I wasn't walking right til 3 weeks after, it was very hard getting up for the babys needs. He left me when I was 4 1/2 months pregnant, he told me he was gonna see his family in mexico and wanted nothing to do with me or our child and never came back. When my parents found out I was pregnant they took me out of school, so all my friends just sorta died off and stopped talking to me. I couldn't hang out with them because my parents didn't want no one to know. I felt really lonely not being able to tell my bestfriends or talk to any one about it, I still feel really lonely I need some type of social life, I wanted my friends to come over and meet the baby but I stopped talking to most of them or there parents won't let them to my house because I had a baby. My parents let me tell people I had a baby after he was born but by that time people got mad I didn't tell them or have them come to the baby shower. I also need help and it stresses me cause I feel like my mom gets aggravated or just don't feel like watching him, that's also how I feel for my brothers and sisters. I feel they should not have to watch him because my mistake but then again I need the help but when I ask for help my mom says really or gives me a rude look like she doesn't want to so then I don't really ask or want to, I skip many meals and barely ever take a shower due to me feeling bad or thinking they don't want to watch him. They tell me to ask because they don't mind but there reaction says different also they give me him back in less then 5 mins. I love my baby but I get no free time, and by free time I just mean showering, eating, and talking to a few friends every here and there. The only free time I do get is when he is sleeping at night but then after that I have to do school work which when he sleeps I want to sleep but I have to stay up an extra hour sometimes 2. Then I feel really bad that he has no daddy, when he starts to ask me where is his daddy, why is he not here, idk how I'm going to deal with that. I wish he had his daddy around but he's a dead beat who I thought I loved but all he really waned was to get in my pants and I regret it but I wouldn't change nothing because my baby is beautiful and I love him very much. I just feel really stressed and need some one to tell it to with out getting yelled at. being a single teen mom is very hard.
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