I am putting this in the Single Parents section because not sure were to post it...thats how crazy I am...LOL
My son is 11 and has alot of delays which SOMETIMES I can take into concideration.
My mom has brought me up as there are people who are dumb and there are people who have handicapps but "stupidity" is not a must.....well....my point is
I am a single mom and well as normal single moms know I have to work to support my kids...I go to work in the morning while the kids are in school.....when I go and pick them up from school I usually try to see my sons teacher to see how school went....Well.....my son isnt doing any work in school and he gets sent home with schoolwork or homework whatever....and we sit and do it but he never returns it to the teacher and at the end of the day its not still in his bookbag so nobody knows were it goes to....that the same way with abunch of his papers.............
What do I do ? What should I say?
I know he is my son but I cant "babysit" him every second if you know what I mean ↓
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| Name: Karing | Date: Sep 21st, 2006 3:33 AM |
I'm no expert, but why are you still doing homework with your son? I decided to stop fighting with my kids about 3 years ago about doing homework and getting their stuff turned in, and of course, there may be something going on with your son that I don't know about, like maybe he's really depressed and needs to see a doctor... or getting into drugs, or stuff that you may not want to even think is possible... but beleive me it's possible... my suggestion, and please this is only a suggestion based on what I've done myself with my kids. 1st, don't go see the teacher(s) so often, try to limit it to once every 2 months, if you really need to talk to the teacher, find out what time it's teacher/parent conference time and call, don't go by, maybe the fact that your son sees you going there may embarass him, he is 11 after all. And put the responsibility of him doing his homework on himself, as well as turning it in... tell him you trust him, tell you the only time you'll check on him is when he gets his progress report/report card... and base on the outcome, you'll know if he's done his part, and if he doesn't well, he'll lose his priviledges, computer, internet, video games, telephone, friends coming over... start slow, taking the one thing he loves the best for a whole 2-3 weeks, and if it happens again, then remove more than on thing, but maybe this time only give him one hour of video games during the weekend under your supervision, and if you don't carry what you tell him you're going to do through, don't expect this to work.
I rarely have to punish my kids now, I don't even ask them if they have homework, if they don't carry out what they are responsible for, which is homework, grades espacially, then they will lose something... and I never give in, that's the key, if I say I week, I hold on to that - if you go back on your word after 2 days, this will never work. You might have to put up with some "not so kind words" and talk-back, but hey, that's life, take it, don't argue, say what you're going to take away, and do it.
Good luck... again this is only a suggestion.
And I know 11 is not too old to be still needing help, but I think it's time for 11-year-olds to learn to be responsible for their actions, rememember how you couldn't wait to be grown up, well neither can he... so start giving him more responsibilities and be excited about how where his future is going, let him see that. ↑ |
| Name: Sheila | Date: Sep 21st, 2006 6:05 AM |
| i would establish a routine for your son right away... after school give him snack time, and let him sit and relax like listen to music, then homework time..... then play time.... then dinner time ....then tv time...etc.etc...Do the same thing every day... kids like schedules..and sit down and talk to him about his homework... maybe he's embarrassed because he can't finish it... Get him checked for ADD... he may have a problem focusing. Good Luck... keep us posted!!1 ↑ |
| Name: calvinsgirl | Date: Sep 23rd, 2006 12:16 AM |
Thanks Karing and Sheila,
Sorry I did leave out info...yes he has ADHD....but here is a few reasons why I do these things...He is my adopted son for one thing and he hasnt been with me for long and he has alot of devolpmental delays thats why I still help him with homework....
Yes he has a routine he is to follow 6 days out of the week and he does them at about a 90% so Im not complaining there but when it comes to school its totally different. I do give him space and trust but theres only so much slack I can give him ↑ |
| Name: Sheila | Date: Sep 23rd, 2006 5:37 AM |
| Hellooooooo!!!!! You make NO sense!!!!!! WHATSOEVERRRRRRRRR!!! Will you please read what you wrote??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: calvinsgirl | Date: Sep 23rd, 2006 5:45 AM |
| And i think you need a little psychology help.... sorry to be so blunt!!!!!!!! ↑ |
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