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Name: Joanne
[ Original Post ]
Hi all: My daughter and her boyfriend have decided to go there seperate ways. They`ve been living together 2 1/2 years and have a two year old girl. They tried their best to make it work but neither are happy. They are both wonderful parents and plan to have Meghan live with my daughter and daddy will have her 2x a week and every other weekend. Does any one know what effect this will have on my granddaughter, I`m so worried, she loves being with them. I just hope she`s young enough to adjust to having two seperate homes? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

A loving Grandma
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Name: Tiffany | Date: Nov 17th, 2005 2:30 AM
Staying together just for the child is always a bad idea anyways. Just be thankful that it happened so soon in Meghan's life. My parents split up when I was 6, and I still to this day live with the memories of that day when they fought and we left. Meghan will grow accustomed to it, and it will be like normal for her, especially since she won't have any haunting memories to grow with her. Don't worry, what your daughter and her boyfriend did was the best. And if he's still wanting to be in her life, then that's one hell of a deal there. Things will work out. 

Name: bigdaddy | Date: Nov 30th, 2005 3:04 AM
I lived in two homes for as long as I can remember (from 2 YO?). I learned early on how different each were. I didn't like going to my dad's because he lacked warmth and seemed out of touch with what was 'hapnin.' My mom made me go, and tried to get me to appreciate his good points which, lucky for me, he did have. By the time I was a teen, I was pretty much used to my dad, and took advantage of his positive traits. He married a wonderful woman who became a person in whom I could confide. My mom then married a seemingly nice man who turned out to be alcoholic and shallow and had to be sent on his merry way after a few years. Go figure! I so adored my moms, who died when they were 84 & 72. My dad is 88 and still has issues--but I'm lucky to have him.

All this to say that your granddaughter will find her way with the situation. You can help her (and her parents!) to steer away from thinking of her lifestyle as divided and instead see if she can think of it as rich and diverse, and appreciate the good in both. She may even realize, as did I, that life would have been horrible for all if they had stayed together.

BONUS: She is so lucky to have a loving and concerned gram! 

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