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Name: Dreamsofchild
[ Original Post ]
Hello our son's therapist thinks he may have ODD. Oppositional defiant disorder, He just turned 7, Anyone with ideas for school? He is acting out at school in major ways, He is being suspended from school. His therapist feels we need an IEP for behavior. Any views on that]? What do we ask for? He is hitting teachers, refusing to follow directions and being a very naughty and disrespectful child. He is not nearly this badly behaved at home. Something about school just sets him off. He does very well academically our biggest concern is that he may fall behind in school for getting sent home. He does well with positive reinforcement. Thanks
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Name: Dreamsofchild | Date: Mar 26th, 2007 1:25 AM
ODD son, anyone whom would like to email me privately can email me at [email protected]

Name: Katie Corkern | Date: Mar 27th, 2007 11:34 PM
Hi!! My nephew was diagnosed with ODD. He had problems at school during Kindergarten and then their therapist recommended putting him in a Montessouri school. Have you ever heard of these? The environment is not like traditional public or private schools. He has behaved much better and is doing well. He is also very smart...he has been there for two years and is doing better there and at home! I am a special ed teacher also, I recommend you getting an IEP for him if he stays at that school...it will help him in the long run and help his teachers understand him better. Also, get a behavior managment plan with the therapist and let him help whoever plans it....it will make him feel like a big boy! 

Name: Dreamsofchild | Date: Mar 29th, 2007 2:53 AM
Yes we have heard of Montessori schools oug biggest problem would be that they are very costly. But an idea if the traditional setting in his present school continues to not work well. Our son is also very bright. Thanks for the information. Our meeting is coming soon they suggested from the school that since I asked for someone from the school system that we invite the behavior specialist should do we also need an special education specialist or will the school one as well as our city school system head office one be enough? thanks for your imput. I do appreciate it very much. :)

Name: Katie Corkern | Date: Apr 1st, 2007 1:13 PM
Hi, T.J., I would like to believe that the school system's sped teacher should suffice, but if you go to the meeting and you do not think that they did, then ask to reschedule a new one and bring your own. In the public school system, the parent has the right to request anything and everything, it may take a while, but persistence is key. Montessouri schools are costly, I do know that....but, in the long run, it may help you to cut your spending somewhere else, so your son can get an education and stop being bothered with silly public school things that annoy him! Also, him being naturally bright is great!!! He needs to be challenged more, then he will definitely has less behavior problems! Good luck!!! 

Name: Dreamsofchild | Date: Apr 3rd, 2007 2:51 AM
Katie, our meeting is for this thursday. We did invite ours sons behaivor specialist she is his therapist for his behavior issues. Also the school behavior specialist as well as I did request that the city school specialist also be present as I want Lots of ideas and not the run around this very school really messed our now 16 year old son out of years of special assistance when they had us convinced that he Only had speech problems not the learning issues we felt he had. Surprise in 7th grade years later they discovered he has a learning disabilitiy in written expression.
Thanks for the information and good thought. :)

Name: pamom2crew | Date: Apr 7th, 2007 1:20 PM
I have a 7yo, and 4yo with ODD. My 7yo has issues in school but it really has a lot to do with her teacher. She has no issues in her classes with other teachers. I did get a TSS worker for her though, and that has helped greatly. 

Name: linday | Date: Apr 9th, 2007 1:10 AM
Is he on medication? I've had 3 or 4 foster kids with ODD. They are very challenging. An IEP would set consequences and rewards for him as well as have certain allowances for his disorder. You might get your therapists input on what to ask for specifically. Good luck! 

Name: mtene5 | Date: Apr 9th, 2007 4:09 AM
I was reading the troubles you are having with your son at school. I have had many problems with the child study team and eventually got a free advocate from the state to attend the meetings. They are actually a child advocate and they represent the child's needs. This might help you to deal with the child study team a little better. The other thing I am concerned with is the school suspending a seven year old child. That is rediculous and you should definatly let them know that the absences are impacting his education and since they have proven they cannot handle your sons special needs maybe they should cough up the bucks for one of those Montessouri schools. They should not be suspending a seven y/o under any circumstances unless the child did something horrific, like threaten another student with a weapon. They should be trying to develope a plan (IEP) that will keep him in school and help him control his behavior, they also need to find a positve way to redirect his attention when he is acting up. While I admit that ODD is a serious disorder sometimes therapists now use it to label a child they feel they have no control over. I really think if you child had ODD he would present the symptoms at home to because it is not something a child can turn on and off.
I hope you will let us know what happens at your meeting 

Name: Dreamsofchild | Date: Apr 15th, 2007 1:15 AM
Our son had a complete metldown at school last friday so they called made my husband come pick him up and get this one they suspended a 7 year old for 3 days for acting out at school. Yes he was probably rather aggressive but 3 days? I called the public school adminstration special ed department they told me that I am to call school monday and say umm why are you rewarding him with three days of no school? That is not punishment thats reward. Also the special ed lady told me that if he is doing Well academically and tests well in that area and its all Behavior we cannot get an IEP? Because it must affect his learning? And if its not then we can get some school imput thing but not the same as an IEP so I will not be able to get the things I feel we need like a para to be their to assist when he gets out of hand and to ride the bus to avoid problems with him and other kids since the bus driver is their to Drive not babysit.
[email protected] 

Name: mtene5 | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 2:16 AM
Yes you can get an IEP for your sons behavior because it is effecting his education if he is being suspended for three days. My best advice is for you to be more aggressive and educate yourself on your rights in the school district. There are many ways to handle this situation but only if you are willing to do the work. One, alls you have to do to request an IEP is write a letter and you will get an IEP despite what anyone tells you. You include why you think your child needs an IEP and how his behavior is effected his education and you also can request an aid for the school bus in this letter. A child who cannot control himself in school, despite being intelligent can still be considered special ed and get a personnal aid. Asperger children are amazingly intelligent and they are considered sometimes special ed and given an aid so that they can participate in regular classes. Second find out where you childs state advocacy program is and get an advocate, which is free, to attend the IEP meeting with you, because then no one at the CST will give you a hard time or make things up. And third,get a diagnoses from an MD of ODD and then when the school suspends him you have a case of discrimination on your hands.
But can tell you these things over and over again but unless you do something nothing will change for your child. So maybe instead of listening to what the school told you to do maybe you should listen to what the parent of developementally disabled children told you to do. All you have to is write a letter to the head of the Child Study Team to get an IEP and no child in the entire district can be denied one of those. 

Name: Dreamsofchild | Date: Apr 21st, 2007 11:22 PM
mtene5, our IEP is in the works as I type they just have to complete all the paperwork from the school Psychologist test and our questionaires, Then we set up a meeting. I was not very happy the other day when we met to get our son back into school after his suspention we had not even gotten home from school and they had already called to tell us to come get him. This year they are in another alternative setting their school is being remodeled the temp school has only partitions NO cealing so gee they have no way to deal with our sons metldowns but they are working on that? We shall see.
Thanks for the Great advice and support. Must appreciated this has been very stressful.
[email protected] 

Name: KathyK | Date: Dec 16th, 2007 9:56 PM
My son who is 6 has O.D.D. and O.C.D. as well. He has a tss worker, behavioral specialist and mobile therapist who comes to the home because he behaves at school more then he does at home. At home he hits his sister and I and he throws things and has tantrums when he doesn't get his way. It is hard to deal with and he is on medication but I am not sure it is working.
If we needed to get these workers in the school I would do it so that it would help him but so far he is ok at school. I am not sure why he behaves at school and not home but for now it is all at home. It is not like we don't discipline him but he must feel comfortable enough at home to just feel like he can do anything and get away with it.
If you want to chat you can e-mail me as well [email protected] 

Name: tyc | Date: Jan 11th, 2008 3:33 AM
My son is 14 and has ODD. You're in for a long rough ride! The school system can be very cruel and they don't understand half of what you are going through. Always speak out for your child. Make sure he receives the best of education. Visit Wright's Law for more information. It has lots of resources on the page. Good luck! 

Name: kim | Date: Jan 20th, 2011 11:04 PM
As a school counselor, I've seen many children over the years who exhibit the same behaviors you're mentioning. As a mother of a child with high functioning Asperger's, I really try to strive to look at the situation from both sides of the fence - because I've definitely been on both sides.

If your school has a good counselor or psychologist, I would recommend that you call and make an appointment to talk to him/her. I don't know what state you're in - and what the counselor to student ratio is, but either of these people should be able to create a behavior plan tailored to your son's needs.

The behavior plan I use with my students includes a chart with these important things:

I start with only 1 goal - more than this is too overwhelming for most 7 year olds. (The goal information comes from the teacher. She needs to isolate the most important behavior she wants to change).
I break the day into segments that give the child the chance to be successful. For example, if a child can't stay seated and disrupts the class by "walking around" during instruction, I would start the behavior chart by breaking the child's day into15 minute segments. Every fifteen minutes, the teacher will come to the desk and quickly discuss whether or not the child has been able to remain in his seat. If he has, then he receives lots of positive praise and a sticker he can put on his sheet for that 15 minute segment.
Most important of all - there has to be a built in system that allows the child to rebound if he has a bad start or doesn't receive a sticker for one of the segments during the day. I usually count up the segments of the day and tell the child that he has 10 chances to get stickers each day. If he gets 7 out of 10 stickers on his chart, he gets to go up to the counselor's office and show her. When they come to my office I make a big deal over them and I give let them go to my prize closet to pick a reward.
The counselor will need to discuss this plan with your son before they begin it. Hopefully, the counselor will get your son excited about the plan. If the teacher wants to do the plan in the classroom, she should discuss which rewards your son would like to earn if he makes his daily goals (extra computer time, playing a game, going to the library - whatever they agree upon).

This has always worked for me if the plan is done properly. The first time I introduce this to teachers, they usually think they won't have enough time during the day to carry through with it and they complain - loudly. I tell them that they are most likely already spending more time than this during the day redirecting and trying to engage the child in learning. After they see that this really does work, they spread the word and others get on board with it in their own classrooms.

Our school has suspended children too - especially if a child hits or injures another student during a behavior episode. We really try not to do this by providing in-school suspension, but if the event is serious, we will send a student home. You can't imagine the calls we get from the parents of those kids who are on the receiving in of being kicked, punched or slapped. We've actually had parents who've filed reports with the police - and threatened to sue us because we aren't able to keep their child safe when there is another child acting out in class.

School demands so much from kids today. Does you son even get recess? Ours don't. Does your school have in-school suspension? These are things that you can discuss with the counselor or administrator at your school because they may factor into your son's behavior.

Last of all, most kids with O.D.D. do quite well at home. The environment at school is completely different from the home environment. There are so many rules and expectations - the very thing that kids with O.D.D. have difficulty with.

I know this is a long response but I feel for you because I've seen what you're going through and I know its difficult. I hope things improve for your son and that he has a great school year. 

Name: mandykos | Date: Jul 18th, 2011 8:05 PM
My daughter is about to turn 8yrs old and she has been diaginosed with ODD and major Depression. She was in the hospital for three days and in a school called Sundance for a three months. She has big problems as school but I have no clue as to do to help her. What is IEP? I am still trying to figure out how to handle things at home as I have two other younger children that is being treated badly by my 8yr old. Anyway I have no idea how to help my family so any ideas would be wonderful. What are good househlod rules for children with ODD? Thanks so much for any advise! 

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