Hello, guest
|
Name: NB
[ Original Post ]
I am nine months pregnant and about to give birth any day. It's very exciting and all, but I am really scared because my baby is going to be born with only one arm. His other arm didn't form properly and he will have to live life without it. I feel really nervous and scared...what if it was something I did that caused the deformity? I know my baby will be able to do anything he sets his mind too, but I am still really apprehensive about the whole thing. Anyone else out there going thru the same thing?
Your Name


captcha

Your Reply here


 
Name: Tia | Date: Jul 1st, 2005 10:03 AM
Your baby will be born without an arm so he'll know no different. Don't feel bad for him just treat him like a normal child and he will grow up confident. I understand your guilt. My son is autistic and I always wondered if I did something but you know what this is the hand that I've been delt and I can't dwell on how it happened because I'll never know for sure. It took a while for me to come to terms with that. What really matters is what you do from this day forth. If your saddened by your own guilt your child will pick up on that. You can't change things no matter how much you want to. I promise you if you embrace this child completely without pitty he will be a happy healthy child who will be equipt to deal with the outside world. Your unconditional acceptance will prepare him for what ever may come his way. Once we changed our attitude about our sons disability he became more outgoing and happier and so did we. I know it's easier said then done but try to stay as possitive as you can it won't be as bad as you think. 

Name: tara | Date: Jul 5th, 2005 2:41 AM
my risk for down syndrom is high..1/150 risk,im ok with it the babys a gift but i would like to no if the baby has any health problems now in utero.im 20 weeks due 11/13... 

Name: Matthew | Date: Aug 9th, 2005 12:28 AM
how does it cause? 

Name: David Cho | Date: Aug 9th, 2005 12:34 AM
I am very said for u! 

Name: heather | Date: Aug 23rd, 2005 4:47 PM
why do people write on here and act soo immature? my bf was like " let me write something" and i was like " no people take this serious, and im one of them!!!" ok..anyways, when did you find out that your baby only had one arm. tias right. just love your baby, and dont ever let it bother you that he was born with one arm. im pretty sure he will have a healthy life one arm or two. he will no different though because everyone else that he is going to see will have too, and he will wonder and ask questions but you just have to tell him comforting things. when he gets in middle school that will be the toughest because kids at that age tease people and compare throughout the school, but as they mature they will see that he is normal just like them. just stick there with him and dont let your love weaken for him any less...good luck and best wishes 

Name: ONI to NB | Date: Sep 21st, 2005 10:07 PM
NB,

My nephew was born with only half of his right arm ( due to amniotic band syndrome; ABS) he is now 9 years old, and let me tell you there is nothing that that little boy is afraid to try! his mom and dad don't even get nervous any more! he plays on a soft ball team ( not one for handicapped kids) plays football, climbs trees, swims, ties his shoes, aggrivates his older sister, he just does everything! even when he was a toddler he would scream, " I do it ! " and anything he shows intrest in his parents let him try and encourage him....as far people staring or making fun of him, he just says, " GOD made me special to to do great things" then he will say , " are you questioning GOD'S reason? "
LOL...just learn how to be strong, so your son will gather from your strength, pity for him and self pity are devastating to self-esteem. 


Name: lorraine | Date: Nov 17th, 2005 1:08 PM
hi.congratulations on your pregnancy first of all.....i have a six year old girl who was born with 2 short arms and 2 fingers on her left hand and 3 on her right hand.i didnt know about my childs condition when i was pregnant but we dont have any problems..marisa copes extremely well and goes to a mainstream school she can write,eat her dinner and even ride a bike so please dont worry it will work out fine.there isan association for people with hand and arm deficiencies called reach the phone no is 0117923 8887...good luck lorraine xx 

Name: howard ross jr | Date: Nov 21st, 2005 4:17 AM
I'm new, here and with a one month old, she was born 3 weeks early, and addicted, and has a herniated navle, any help? 

Name: Howard &Lynn | Date: Nov 21st, 2005 4:22 AM
We just posted, and will appreciate any advice, on Em's navle, Dr. acts like it will heal and close up, but we are not so sure, and we know it causes her a lot of pain, especially with gas. 

Name: jina | Date: Jan 22nd, 2006 3:36 AM
you did absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. we all want kids who are "perfect" but look around, there are none. parents who have children who are normal do not understand, but when our son was diagnosed with a syndrome it felt like losing a child in a sense because you know they will have stumbling blocks, they may not be able to play sports, will have learning disablities, but you have to treat them the same and know that god does not give us more than we can handle. im not a bible thumper but my son was in and out of the hospital his first year of life, we almost lost him 4 different time, he is 9 and he has had 11 surgeries, but he is very special and i would not trade him for all the money in the world. your son will adapt and he will be an awesome son to you and just trust your instincts, if people stare or want to ask questions, the unknown is very scary to all of us but ive found talking to people is education for them and it helps me feel better. good luck! and congratulations on the new baby. 

Name: Tina | Date: Jan 23rd, 2006 12:52 AM
I have a son who is 9 born with cerebral palsy. He has limited use of his right hand. We always treat him as a normal kid whose hand doesn't work so good. My best advise is for you to tell him to "find your own way" when he is confronted with challenges relating to having only one arm. You'll be amazed the adaptations he will come up with! My son discovered if he turns a camera upside down he can use his left thumb to press the button, because he can't do it with his right. Give guidance where needed, help him when he gets stuck, but also give him room to figure things out, he'll grow into a confident boy, and other kids will regard him that way also. 

Name: Alisha | Date: Feb 6th, 2006 4:16 PM
my mother was born with only arm.. her left, she was supsed to be right handed. she has had to over come many obstacles through out her life but would not change anything. her mothers umbilical cord wraped around her arm just under where her elbow is, and it stopped growing. she has been married to my father for 25 years, given birth to both my brother and i, drives a standard, and a motorcycle. so don't worry your son will be just fine, just help him when he gets stressed, and never let him down, keep telling him he can do anything anyone else can, only a little differently. 

Name: Alisha | Date: Mar 29th, 2006 6:43 PM
When I was born i had clubed feet and I had a lazy eye so I had to wear a brace on my feet and I had to get surgery on my life. 

Name: marilyn | Date: Jun 17th, 2006 5:19 PM
I was born with a similar deformity in 1952, prior to the thalidamide scare and the child of a woman who never even took a painkiller when she was pregnant. The quick answer is that you did nothing wrong. It can just happen. There is some evidence that a rogue gene may be responsible but, usually, there are no answers. Your child needs to feel loved and allowed to try anything he feels he can achieve. Good luck! 

Name: allie | Date: Jun 17th, 2007 3:11 AM
I'm sorry but your baby will get through it.
Did you ever find if you did any thing that caused the deformity??
Its going to be okay, don't be nervous, 

Name: Angie | Date: Jul 18th, 2007 6:49 PM
my son was born with missing part of his arm does anyone know of a wedsite i could go to for moreinformation 

Name: Nana | Date: Jul 18th, 2007 8:53 PM
Congratulations on your pregnancy and upcoming birth! My grandson was born 2 1/2 years ago with no right foot. It has not limited him in the least -- he is the best climber and hops very well. Because it was a foot he had to be fitted with a prosthesis at 8 months and it needs to be upgraded as he grows. I understand that some children without an arm prefer to not use an artificial limb. I actually have a trainer at the gym who has one arm and he is not limited at all. Find out as much info as you can and relax. He will be fine and so will you! Just treat him as if he had both arms and he will grow up knowing nothing different. 

Name: lindalu | Date: Jul 18th, 2007 9:29 PM
NB sweetie don't be worried, it will only wear you out! My sister was born with a badly deformed right arm. She has always adapted to the loss never questioning it. As for what caused it you may never know and guilt will not change a thing! Remember not to treat the child any different then you would if he/she had two arms. The child will compensate for the missing limb and will be just fine! 

Name: lindalu | Date: Jul 18th, 2007 9:33 PM
OOp didnt realize.... late reply, this topic is an old one. NB if you are reading how is the baby? he/she should be at least two by now. 

Name: Shanna | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 9:07 PM
I am 7 months pregnant and just found out the our baby girl will be born with only one arm ( her right arm is only formed to her elbow) maybe she has 3 fingers. they are not sure. I have to wait 3 more months to see her. I am very nervous and scared... about how things will go. I have 4 other children. I am worried how they will react. we love her already and hope and pray for the best. 

Name: Momz3 | Date: Aug 4th, 2007 1:13 AM
Dont worry defects are normal in life your not alone, sometimes what you do doesnt affect your child sometimes its naturally. Its ok, your child will still be happy no matter what, is one little defect gonna put him down, teach him to be confident. I am not saying this as a offense or to scare you but be warned your child may be teased in a way so make sure you raise him kind and make him learn to accept his disability. 

Name: mtene5 | Date: Sep 17th, 2007 1:20 AM
Hi, how are you. I have a five year old son who has about half of his left arm and no hand. When I first gave birth to him I did not know he was going to be born with this difference and he was my first child. I was very upset at first and cried a lot. I thought he would have a very difficult life. I was wrong. He is doing great but he is unfortunatly a bit antisocial as report by his kindergarten teacher. I do think his being different has effected his entry into kindergarten but school has just started and I am sure he will bounce back once the children become used to him and he becomes used to the children.

After I had Mark I gave birth to my second son who is autistic and needs a liver transplant and I found out that even though Mark looks different he is just fine. my second son has two hands but cannot speak and has difficulty learning. He is making improvements now.

My third child is the most beautiful baby girl and she is soo severely autistic I knew it before she turned one year old. She is mentally retarted and it breaks my heart. I often talk to my husband about how I would have rathered her be born like Mark, with only one hand, then born the way she is. I love her so much and it kills me to look into her empty eyes. I pray that one day I can get my daughter back. I found out that there are much worse things in this world then missing a hand.

Congradulations on your son and know that as a mother of a child with the same disability your son will be more then fine. If you have any questions on how to teach him motor skills such as rolling and crawling feel free to contact me. [email protected] 

Name: marilyn washington | Date: May 17th, 2008 5:12 PM
I was born with part of my left arm missing in 1952. Nothing my mother did caused this condition. I went to a mainstream school, played sports, rode a bicycle, went skiing, learned to drive, live alone and am able to look after myself.
Your child will be able to do all these things too. It is important that you allow him to communicate with you if any other child has been unkind and help him to feel good about himself.
Good luck and I hope what I have said will prove to you that your son will have a happy and fulfilling life. 

Name: lolita | Date: Jun 27th, 2008 8:48 PM
i am 35 weeks .5 more weeks to go,
i am gonna have a baby girl,
at 17 weeks i had my first sonogram they couldn t see the hand,i had it to go to another hospital,and there found out that she is missing a left hand,it was very very hard to handle,specially from my husband,i didn t get suport,i was going crazy,and wished i was dead,my husband wanted abortion,i refused for only religion perpeses,also i knew that if i ever had aborted her ,i will have to kill my self or cut my self or do drugs ...the pain will be huge.i decided to leave it,and i keep on praying that she come up fine,every day i pray "please god make her come up normal please"but i guess god has diferent plans for us,i went today for a sonogram,she couldn t see the hand,now am very sure,that she will be born diferent,when my husband came and picked me up(cuz i didn t want him to be there with me and give me a negetive vib) he asked what they have told me,and if they saw her left hand.i told him that ,she said that she couldn t see wnything and all she did is the mesurment ,because the baby is too crowded it s hard to see.he didn t belive me.i don t need him to cry on me and keep saying why and why...i need suport ,i need a strong caractere not a weak person that s gonna make me abandone everything and run away .anyway it s not easy.but i went online,and found out that i can get her prostetics with cosmetic looks that looks just like qa real hand or arm,and she can move by her brain only.so you know.it s not a big deal if the baby s diferent,but it s hard when your partner is going depression on you ,that makes you wanna take off.if you have people that will suport you and make you feel good ,you wont worry.and am sure your baby can do anything like other kids.anyway,i don t know if i can be in much help for you,because it s as hard for me as it is to you .life is unfair,and that s all i can say.good luck 

Name: francina | Date: Jul 22nd, 2008 5:45 PM
Lolita, I too had a sonogram at 20 weeks and they said my baby's left hand is not developed properly. Email me and we can talk. I am now 24 weeks pregnant.
[email protected] 

Name: mark hamm | Date: Aug 20th, 2008 12:55 PM
Please call pediatric prosthetics www.kidscanplay.com they have 39 loc in the USA . Ken bean has insight in this situation
and will be a world of help! You can see his videos on you tube
its amazing. 

Name: Ken | Date: Aug 20th, 2008 6:46 PM
Hi mom
When is the happy day? I know you are frightened right now, and you are in our thoughts and prayers.
I would be delighted to send you a list of moms and dads dealing with the same issue, and each of them will tell you that they literally won the lottery. with their limb-different child.

One of them called me and gave me this site. Just e-mail me at
[email protected] and I will respond with the e-mail addresses of some of these wonderful folks.
As you prepare to give birth though, just look forward to getting to know your baby.
Best regards
Ken 

Name: Elle the one armed wonder | Date: Sep 26th, 2008 9:49 PM
From the horses mouth ... Im 21 5'2 female and I was born w/out my lower left forearm 2 inches below my elbow theres nadda... Ive never known any different and I don't want to... yes I was teased in school and small children scream 'mommy mommy she only has one arm" ....

lest see a few cons (depending on the day lol)

. ppl stare
. you get too much help or no enough
. long sleeved jackets
. mountain biking
. monkey bars.
. cutting steak
. zip lock bags
. guitar and most insterments are out
. learning to tie shoes is not fun

thats just a few things but you get the just.... now prostetics ..
do or dont?
I was the first child to get the miolelecrtonic arm in english it had a batterie and the first to fingers and thumb met like puttin a pich of salt ... it opend and closed and look very real... Ive also had a pully one that I had a body strap for that was just horrid...
Now DR.s are very pushy about getting you to put one on your very young child so that it learns to live with it naturally ... this might work but do realize they are heavy and often cause sores and back akes at first because of the weight do you want to do this to a child thats too young to tell you that it hurts?
I think it should be up to them amputees of all ages learn you use them your child can to even if they are 20 or 10....
Theres an upside to all of this my parents always joked about it was my special thing not my set back "my little arm" ... so now as an adult I tell ppl funny stories about sharks or ask them if they've seen my arm I lost it... It breaks the ice lets ppl think that its ok to be ok with it.... Now I will tell you keep your child in school and hope for higher education because I still have been turned own from jobs that delt w/ ppl because it makes them uneasy to be served by someone they feel sorry for so your child having a degree will help....

Im a model http://www.modelmayhem.com/ellethakiller
( not for children there are art nudes)
I'm beautiful on the inside and I let it show outside yes Ive had guys not date me because of my arm I've lost jobs and couldnt get my licence till last year but Im alive and happy

[email protected] if you need anything

Name: dude who no 1 shall no my name | Date: Oct 28th, 2008 12:48 PM
wtf are you talking about you mf idiots 

Name: ltr | Date: Oct 28th, 2008 12:59 PM
stop talking like that 

Name: Lana | Date: Nov 5th, 2008 3:39 AM
Just wanted to chime in. I was born with deformity in my feet and lower legs. I'm 28 now. I have read my mom's journal and she has been honest with me (later in life) about how she felt when I was born. She didn't know of the deformity until I came out because of the positioning, which likely caused the deformity.

She told me she was so scared, so sad, blamed herself...until they nurses gave her to me after she demanded to see me because they nurses were afraid she'd hurt me. She said when she looked in my eyes, everything faded. She realized she had to give me extra love to bolster me up for what would be ahead and she vowed to be a team with me, us against the world.

That's exactly how I was raised. I was popular in school, I played sports, I now have an amazing boyfriend and have had plenty of romantic connections, friends, amazing career moves, wild success all over. I couldn't have done it without her.

And it's true--I know no different. I like my perspective, I feel it's more sophisticated and in-touch and self-aware than others. I'm empathetic and have a huge heart. I had no fear as a child. Teenage years chipped away at that, but I'm slowly coming back to having no fear...I'm sure later in my adult life, it will happen.

My best advice is: Don't think of yourself and your insecurities over this issue. If you are superficial or have body issues--get over them now. You need to be there to show your child that what's inside counts...allow them to be normal...focus on what they can do. They will be just fine :D

Email me if you have any questions or want further advice, would love to help and I'm actually also a Life Coach (www.coachingoncloudnine.com)...you can find my contact info there.

Warmly,
Lana 

Copyright 2021© babycrowd.com. All rights reserved.
Contact Us | About Us | Browse Journals | Forums | Advertise With Us