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Name: Irene
[ Original Post ]
Hi all,
i have 3 boys, my middle son is very difficult to handle, weve tested him for basically everything, adhd, asperges, obsession,

its come back as he has abit of everything(mild) in all areas, but so mild where he cannot get treated, but its frustrating at times cause i dont know how to handle him, yet sometimes he can be the most perfect little boy, then theres times where i just want to run away, i think the obsession is what is most hardest, is there anyone out there with similar problem and can give me advice, and the hardest part is that he also gets bullied at school, i put a stop to it though but his whole kindy year was a nightmare for him and alot of sleepless nights for me spending them crying for help, hes such a gorgeous boy and very smart with photographic memory,
his teacher said he is too smart actully, ahead of every other kindy student with spelling and reading,

can someone please help me please,
thank you so much girls!
God bless
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Name: Irene | Date: Feb 1st, 2006 10:57 AM
im new to this, i meant obsessive behaviour, which i found out thats what hes got, not the rest just the obd? 

Name: natalie | Date: Feb 3rd, 2006 12:34 PM
what did the doctor tell you, did you get any information to read up on to try make things right with him, is it mild or servere? 

Name: Irene | Date: Feb 7th, 2006 11:52 AM
I found out its mild,
just aswell, i wouldnt know what severe is,
i thought this is severe! 

Name: Ginger | Date: Feb 8th, 2006 9:23 PM
Irene,

I'm sure you have heard of this before, but have you ever thought about his diet? what does he eat? His behaviour most likely corresponds with his diet. Have you ever noticed what he has eaten when he has a good day? Preservatives do a lot of damage to your body. He is also probably deficient in nutrients. Do you have him on a good multi vitamin? Also, on studies that I have read, fish oil(omega Fats) help with a lot of behaviours. I have a daughter who is autistic and it helps to calm her down. i highly recommend a book called Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon, it is a great read. It is helped our family tremendously. If you can and want to, I would put him on high dose fish oil High EPA)and monitor what he eats and the reactions he gets from eating certain foods. Organic whole milk good along with raw egg yolks.(eggs are a brain food):) Again, this is just my opinion, this has greatly helped my little girl. Blessings,

Ginger 

Name: hi Irene | Date: Feb 8th, 2006 10:33 PM
Read the book Nanny 911 -- best advice out there!

Your feelings are normal. You will get through this. Breathe...

; - )

God Bless. 

Name: Irene | Date: Feb 9th, 2006 11:18 AM
Hi Ladies, 'thank you so much for the information, ill read up on those books, and ill give the fish oil one more try, we did have him on it for a while but as he got older passed 4 he refused to take it,
he is also lactose intolorent so he is on diet but i must admit ive stopped using the bread he used to have which was gluten free only because once again you cant toast that and he wanted it toasted,
he has almost everything soy but because i have 2 other children who are allowed to eat normal foods he gets jelous so ive switched all of us on his diet but its really difficult so sometimes he'll have the foods which has all the preservetives in them and i have kept a journel and ive noticed the days he has the foods he shouldnt, he ends up difficult,
he has a glass of so good milk(chocalate soy) with egg yolk in it, ofcourse he dont know this but its good for him so this is why i practically force him to have it in mornings, and when he does hes fine, but somedays hes easy and somedays hes hard,
each day i get a new kid, each day is a mystery?

but ill try everything, so once again thankyou to you both,
take care and God bless you and your families xx 


Name: helene | Date: Feb 10th, 2006 10:28 AM
I have been going through a simular problem and question wat is wrong wit my daughter, its gotten to a point though now she is getting abbusive, i found out she is depressed, i kind of ignore some of the sign i believe because i didnt want to feel like a failure, she was gettin teased at school cuz shes the tallest and shes a lil on the chunky side, not much but kids r crule, her great nana is sick and my daughter is scared, she keeps askin me if shes goin to die, symtoms started out less but have now gotten worse, she doesnt listen cuz she wants attention, and when she gets home from school now, she sleeps , anyways , im not sure wats goin to happen but she will be gettin meds now and will be talkin to someone, which she isnt eager to do but all i want is her better, all i can say is if u know somethin is wrong keep pushin till u find out wat it is. my son was sick as a baby and they kept tellin me nuttin was wrong, ended up by the time he was almost 4 he was dignosed wit cystic fybrosis, i believe us as mothers always know somethin is wrong, my doctore told me b4 there was nuttin wrong wit my son and my daughter but mothers always know best, just keep trying, good luck, oh ya for some reason my daughter is only abbusive wit me, takes it all out on me, when she has her fit, otherwise is such a sweet , smart lovin girl that would do anythin for anyone, anways good luck 

Name: Irene | Date: Feb 11th, 2006 2:44 AM
Hi Helene,
how are you?
if you ever want to chat you can email me or IM me on [email protected] id love to talk with you, you sound like your in same boat as me,my son gets teased cause hes the smallest and skinniest :-(
i cant believe im not the only one, i feel for you i really do,
hope to talk to you soon,
take care and god bless xx 

Name: Helene | Date: Feb 13th, 2006 3:34 PM
Took awhile for me to figure out but no were not alone, at first i thought it was me, somethin i did wrong, but know i know, its ok, thursday im takin her to a physcatrist, crosses fingers, hopefully they can get her to talk more and figure out wats up, and help her, anyways I added u to my hotmail. hope to chat wit u soon, take care and thinkin of u, hope all is well :) 

Name: Shiv | Date: Feb 24th, 2006 10:10 PM
Hi, Your story sounds so familiar. I had a very difficult time with my son (now 8) He too has a complex diagnosis with traits of autism, aspergers so on but not one clear thing!
Google Professor Hill, he has offices at Wimpole street, he is THE TOP MAN in the country for child psychiastry and every specialist bows to him. It costs £400 to see him (I luckily got it on my health insurance but would have sold my soul to get it) and he has CHANGED our lives. He knows what you are talking about and gives you examples of your childs behaviour so you are saying 'yes, thats what he does' I can rave all night about this. My son was extremely violent and foul mouthed and wet bed and had semantic-pragmatic disorder and complex tic disorder, severe anxiety, obsessive.....I could go on. Now 8 he is in school full time (WOW) has friends (WOW) EVEN going to birthday party at weekend like any kid (WOW AND PROUD SMILE) All this due to medication called risperidone, I didnt want to use meds but it hasnt changed the boys character hes still livewire and far too chatty and daft but his own stress levels are down, he can cope with life! I even had another baby!
Good luck X 

Name: dianne | Date: Mar 7th, 2006 10:34 PM
hi irene i have 3 children 1 girl and 2 boys. both boys are on the autistic spectrum. my youngest son, like yours has been given lots of different labels. the trouble is it makes him very difficult to deal with. his behavours often contradict each other. he needs routine for the autism but he also has pathalogical demand avoidance which means he freaks out when any demands are placed on him. he drives me crazy, but i luv him 2 bits. keep strong. enlist all the help you can from friends, family and anyone else you can. get a break whenever you get a chance. dont spend your free time catching up on the ironing, go and have lunch with a friend. good luck 

Name: joanna miller | Date: Mar 10th, 2006 10:50 AM
hi.Ive got 2 boys of 6 and 7. my 7year old was diagnosed with adhd when he was 5. Im a single mum and life for me used to be a nightmare. i too used to be at my wits end with my son,he was being bukkied at playschool and school and still finds it difficult to make and keep friends.He cant control his impulses and i have to keep my doors and windows locked at all times so that he cant escape. He is a warm. lovable child and it breaks my heart to have to keep him in, hes unable to go to sleepovers etc.I used to blame myself, was it because i wasnt with his dad,was i too soft on him,and at the same time felt guilty that i had to pay so much attention to him was my other son missing out. I went to special behavoural classes that really helped and now as best i can keep my days to a strict routine,praise him constantly for all the wonderful things he does but warn him about the consequences,and carry them out if hes difficult. he is also now on medication which helps a little at school. things are still difficult but have greatly improved in the last year,i am now ejoying being his mum and can take both my boys out by myself, i have become a lot less anxious,which also helps. This is not your fault!!!never never give up, i had to resort to ringing the education minister and took on a child psychologist so that my son could get the help he needed at school, now like yours hes getting great grades. it took 2years,if you need to chat you can contact me on [email protected] your son sounds articulate.clever and wonderful. I hope you get the help you need. jo xx 

Name: nicky | Date: Mar 12th, 2006 10:38 AM
hi irene i share your feelings i hav a 12 year old son who has cp He is a brilliant , wonderful boy, but can be very chalerging and finds change very difficult.I have just finished a counselling course which helped me understand his feelings . Is there a hobbie or activity he could share with other children to help his confidence he sounds very talented. Good luck 

Name: nelle | Date: Mar 13th, 2006 12:28 AM
So many smart kids with other issues. The schools don't know what to do with them. My son was in the gifted program, has been diagnosed or suggested he has so many disorders including ADHD, ODD, OCD, Bipolar, and Aspergers. He will be 12 this year and every day is a challenge. He is incredibly smart and talented, but has lost all motivation for learning, and has developed many behaviors that are just unacceptable. I give him lots and lots of love - in between the discipline, and tell him, "even though you drive me crazy I'm still crazy about you" Sometimes I get so angry it is hard to hug him, other times I'm just amazed at the stuff he does, and how oblivious he is to its effects on others. I work hard to remain optimistic, to put one foot in front of the other each day and aim in a constructive direction...Good luck with your son - you are not alone in your situation... 

Name: Lynn | Date: Mar 16th, 2006 2:40 AM
HI Irene,
I know this isn't an answer to your problem, but I think you should contact the school and have him tested for Gifted and Talented. It is certainly possible that he is not being challenged in school, which could lead to even worse behaviors. 

Name: Abbie | Date: Mar 19th, 2006 11:01 AM
Weeaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

Name: Dee | Date: Mar 28th, 2006 5:14 PM
Check out the book In indigo child, This sounds like something that ay help you understand your child. 

Name: Lisa | Date: Apr 9th, 2006 8:27 PM
Maybe he needs more challenging schoolwork. It may be things are so easy for him he acts up because he doesnt know what else to do. Maybe he needs to expand his mind on more difficult projects that his mind will be mesmerized by. Try it and see!!?? 

Name: Kelly | Date: Apr 10th, 2006 4:22 PM
My 7 year old seems to be out of control.. BIG TIME!! I just recently found a website talking about odd and I really think that's what he has. Maybe some ADHD too. We are taking him to a child pys. to get a professional opinion. We were told last school year that in a couple of years we should seriously think about having him tested for gifted. Things got so bad this year due to a first year teacher with no children of her own and no experience with "difficult children" and an administration who backed her up instead of helping us. We removed our son from the school and have been home schooling him for this semester. We intend on sending him back for second grade since we know the teacher and know that she has experience with more difficult children. He is so smart and whizes through his school work so fast that we have a hard time keeping him busy. I wanted to make a comment on the Indigo child. My mother in law gave me a website to look over the info. I read it and thought WOW! this is my child. Then I realized that it has to do with psycic abilities and things like that. I believe that there are people that can see things but this theory suggests that "difficult children" also known as Indigo children are along those lines. I don't really buy into that whole thing. 

Name: kye | Date: Apr 19th, 2006 5:49 PM
hello,
how are you doing there,please mail me back i will help you out so let me know exactly what you need.mail:[email protected] will be expecting you mail.

cheers 

Name: Mary | Date: Apr 19th, 2006 5:57 PM
Hey Irene, Don't think too much, I will like to help you, i've encountered this kind of problem with one of the orphan that i have in my Orphanage. Please fill free to contact me for any help even financially.
Mary Jettson
[email protected] 

Name: Genjen | Date: May 28th, 2006 11:10 PM
I can sympathizse with you because I have three children as well 2 girls 16 and 14 and 1 boy. My oldest girl is the biggest heartach. I recently started a nurturing parenting class 1 day a week 3 hours a sesson. I think support groups with others that have similar circumstances help us to get better copeing skills 

Name: Debbie | Date: Jan 4th, 2008 12:36 AM
Hi,
I understand exactly what you are going through. My youngest child has OCD, ADHD, CAP, etc. She is now a young adult and it is still a major problem She worked for a couple of years, but now doesn't. She has always had social problems. We have been through more than I can tell you.
I would like to tell you is that you will get through this. You will become a stronger person because you will learn how to be your child's advocate. Don't encourage bad behavior, but make sure your child receives everything he needs to receive an education. You will probably like me become your child's mother and best friend. He will resent you at times for that, but in the end you will have a bond stronger with this child and than your other two. You will love all of your children, but because he needs you the most your bond will be stronger. You will have good times and bad, but the little accomplishments will mean so much. My daughters' problems cause me great stress, but I also feel her strong love for me in between the mean words she says because she is so stressed out. I see in her eyes the hurt, but also the love. 

Name: Sheila | Date: Feb 27th, 2008 9:46 PM
have regular talks with him. Let him know you understand that it is hard for him. And that your doing the best you can do too.
As far as bullying, call the school dean and let them know that your son is being bulllied. As far as your son, to the best of his ability have him ignore the bullying. Let him know kids are just mean and have problems of their own. They just don't let on.
Tell your son to try not to take it personally. That this too will pass. Especially if you ignore the bullying it will stop.. My daughter has anxiety and ocd and it can be very difficult at times but the regular talks we have and my reasssurance help tremendously. The bullying by one girl stopped after i called the school dean and kept reinforcing the idea of ignoring. It worked. Good Luck and God bless you and your family. Things will get better they just take time and reassurance. 

Name: LISA | Date: Feb 28th, 2008 8:06 PM
I have a similar child. We ended up changing schools and put him in a private christian (very small) school. It has done wonders for him. He was bullied also. The private school in our case, is able to work with him more one on one due to the small size. 

Name: Francesca D | Date: Feb 29th, 2008 7:04 PM
I have a 5 1/2 year old daughter who is the same as your boy, TO THE T!!! and I could also use some advice so please if you have any you can e-mail me at [email protected].. I would greatly appreciate it. 

Name: Jessica | Date: Mar 14th, 2008 3:40 PM
I am a Music Therapy student at Florida State University. We have the newest research, which is always improving, in music therapy.
First off, I want everyone here to be aware that Music Therapy can do wonders for those with developmental disabilities. Please look into it, or contact me for more information.

Also, I am trying to find the parent of a child with a disability to interview for research. It will only take about 10-15 minutes, and I can do it online. It will also be beneficial to all since it is research, and will only improve education and therapy. Please find me on AIM, my screename is YJs littleDoll
or you can e-mail me at [email protected]

I have been posting everywhere and have not found any volunteers. Thanks 

Name: kathleen | Date: Apr 3rd, 2008 9:55 PM
i know how you feel. my son can be hard to handle at times too. he was diagosed autistic at age 3. and he has obsessions as well. he throws tandrums in public and everyone looks and stares at us like "that boy is out of control and those parents need to control their kid" they dont know that he's autistic they... just think he's a brat...and it frustrates me! ...i'm just figuring things out as i go along with my son on what triggers his tandrums.
anyways i just want to say, you're not alone...i know what it's like to have a kid thats hard to handle at times..hang in there! 

Name: Pamela Colvin | Date: Jun 6th, 2008 1:33 AM
I am so sad. My daughter of 23 years walked out of our families lives 18 months ago and has left a devastating effect. 

Name: Pamela | Date: Jun 6th, 2008 1:36 AM
I am so sad. My daughter of 23 years walked out of our families lives 18 months ago and has left a devastating effect. We have Twins who are 17 and are very confused. 

Name: Hunter's Mom | Date: Jun 22nd, 2008 2:43 AM
I have a son that is now 7yrs. We always new that there was something a little out of the Norm. We had him looked at when he was 2yrs but they wanted to diagnose him with ADHD and we were not having him medicated so young. How do you diagnose a 2yr old with ADHD? Our son has always shown signs of obbsessive and compulsive behaviour, little things like certain doors always needed to be shut, cars had to be in a certain row and order, clothes had to fit a certain way on the body, certain body parts needed to be a certain way. My son was never a sleeper he has great difficulty settling his mind enough to sleep. My son does very well with math, reading and is very anilitical. I find he is very hard on himself and has high expectations of himself. We still deal with him getting wraped up in a obsessive thought that he cant get out of his head. We try to deal with his energy by keeping him active and feed him healthy. We also try to keep his mind active with reading books, puzzles, mazes anything that causes thought process and problem solving. And we make a routine for him to follow daily as best as a routine can be laid out with days always changing., We try to keep the bedtime routine the same always! with a time set for him to relieve his thoughts and issues that are overcoming him and let him try to work through his obsessive thoughts. (they can be anything from worrying about pizza day to going to the park after school Monday) We find that it helps (especially the routine to follow) Well good luck, hope to hear back from you soon. Angela 

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