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Name: M
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Name: roseywosey | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 10:11 AM
i agree 100% with what you are saying atomicsnowflake. 

Name: Hiddy | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 10:30 AM
I dont agree with abortion. This is the reason why. Ive seen mothers who miscarry early in pregnancy grieve for the loss of their child. What might have been, what could have been a life.

It has also been PROVEN that women who have abortions grieve for their unborn babies. Why do they do this? Because there is no escaping the fact that a child was terminated.

This has not always been my opinion. I have only come to this conclusion after having friends go through both miscarriages and abortions.

BUT..... I think it is every womans RIGHT to make up her own mind because it is her body and her life alone. Adoption is a different thing all together. Because the grieving never stops. With an abortion you have some sort of closure....and you DO learn to heal and forgive yourself. Many women I know have reconciled themselves and said it was not meant to be and the baby would not have had a good life with them.

However with adoption it is a feeling like something is missing all the time. You know that your child is somewhere walking this earth and its like the longest wait in history. Women who adopt babies become very patient people.

For everyone there are different circumstances. I think it is best to walk a mile in someones shoes before giving them advice or commenting on their actions.

Like I said, Im against abortions, but it is only the business of the woman who is directly involved. The same goes for adoptions. There are VERY complex reasons behind both adoption and abortion. 

Name: Hiddy | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 10:32 AM
And Id just like to say.....and Im not going to share it here...
but my reasoning behind the adoption of my daughter was VERY complex also. It was not one reason alone but a whole miriad of circumstances. 

Name: marija | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 12:37 PM
not all abortions are contraceptive related or selfish means to family plan.

stupidity and manipulation do play a HUGE roll in why alot of women / girls have them....the uneducated and misinformed throw the number of abortions up....Alot of women would not (imho) go through abortion if they ACTUALLY KNEW WHAT THEY were killing. 

Name: homemommichele | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 1:43 PM
Once again I am in complete agreement with my sister nurse "across the pond"!! 

Name: M | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 2:00 PM
Marija-- I think you make a very good point. Many young girls are often manipulated and persuaded by other people on what to do when facing an unplanned pregnancy. Some girls may find themselves being told by parents that "this is what you will do!" The girl's parents see the pregnancy as an embarrassment or a threat to making them parent and raise the grandchild. Some girls may find themselves being manipulated into an abortion by a boyfriend who doesn't want the child. I wonder just how many young girls are manipulated into going against their own values and how they have coped with it later on in life. 

Name: M | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 2:16 PM
Also, some women using fertility treatment to conceive are sometimes faced with abortion. When too many babies are conceived, removal of one or more fetuses (multifetal pregnancy reduction) can offer improved survival odds for the surviving fetuses. Michelle--how do you feel about this? Do you agree with fertility drugs? 

Name: marija | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 2:17 PM
yes m...that is exactly what happens to alot of girls / women

me im one of them...not proud of the fact...will always regret it...but it happens!

i have had an acquaintance tell me she had an abortion because her husband said their marriage was dead if she was to have another child....she was on contraception...she was happy with the family they had....then the horrible happened she fell pregnant against the odds...when faced with this dilemma she was scared she wouldnt be able to cope alone with her family...so she had the abortion......came out the other side ..pining (as do alot also) and the marriage was over 18mths down the track!!!!...did it affect the hubby ..her having the abortion....HELL NO...he ended up getting his new gf knocked up and having a "NEW" family...which was just another kick in the gut for this acquaintance.
not every woman is strong enough to see the wrong in abortion...IMHO 

Name: M | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 2:26 PM
So true marija. Abused and scared girls and women are also a victim of abortion in certain circumstances. There are those on here that will probably say "no matter what I would never do that!" But until they have walked in that girl's shoes they will never understand.

Think of the young girls who have parents who tell them that this is what they will do! I am sure it happens. Think of the young girls who go to planned parenthood and are told they are pregnant. What option do you think planned parenthood offers as the best choice to young girls?They are supporters of abortion.And planned parenthood is usually were young girls in america go when faced with this issue because it is low cost. They go there for birth control and when told they are pregnant this option is offered. 

Name: M | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 2:28 PM
I honestly think that some young girls and women are not offered any other options from the closest people around them--and that is sad! 

Name: marija | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 2:33 PM
they send you to a therapist before the procedure.
in this meeting they ask you alot of questions in regards to your situation, they ask you if you are prepared to become a mother, they ask you if you are sure you will be able to cope with this procedure.........at NO TIME did i get told or shown what i was carrying...anything about fetuses and at what stage the "become" ...NOTHING. i like to think that maybe if i was shown and more informed i may not have gone through with it.
hindsight is mighty useless in these circumstances. 

Name: M | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 2:38 PM
The people counseling are usually very pro-abortion. 

Name: M | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 2:44 PM
Marija, regarding your abortion, you said,
"hindsight is mighty useless in these circumstances." That makes me think you wish you would have handled it differently. Have you forgiven yourself--or do you live everyday with regret? 

Name: M | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 2:51 PM
There is a theory that some women suffer from post-abortion syndrome. Did the counselor mention that? 

Name: marija | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 2:58 PM
oh man do i regret it....yup, i can and do live with myself, i dont dwell on the past...it happens...crap happens.

when you do something for all the wrong reasons...you always end up regreting. At the time, it seemed ok...

i believe in womens right to make the choice....i am only talking of my experience and those i have spoken to about their experiences.
Every situation is different....there are alot of repeat offenders and there are alot of reasons that dont fall into the "i didnt take precaution catergory"...i would hope that my daughter if she falls into a predictament like i did ...that she would come to me and talk about it...pros cons and inform her properly.
who knows?!?!?....she hasnt followed the trends of her peers and is sexually active as of yet...so im hopeful some other stuff i have spoken to her about also sinks in...i wait with mothers hope...its all you can do really once the become adults :-) 

Name: marija | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 3:00 PM
and *isnt sexually active...oops 

Name: Nicolaaa | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 3:01 PM
marija---- its good that you can be open about it, and tell the forum the truth.

People have varied opinons on this topic, and you have the balls to come out and say your feelings, and your experiences. I admire that. 

Name: marija | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 3:13 PM
awwww nicola...thanks :-)
i have spoken of it here in the past...i am not ashamed of it...i regret it but im not ashamed :-) 

Name: Emma | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 3:20 PM
If a young girl gets pregnant, at what age do you all think she is responsible to be able to decide if she wants an abortion or not? 

Name: M | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 3:39 PM
That is a hard question emma. In america, I do not think that a girl is required to get parental consent. I do think that some women can be pressured at any age. Just like marija's friend was by her husband. It is very complicated.

I also found out that this ban only affects about 10% of all abortions. Most women do not get an abortion that late in a pregnancy unless something is seriously wrong with the child or the woman's life is in danger. Some think this ruling is going to chip away at all abortions resulting in a complete ban.
I also found out that 5 of the justices on the supreme court are catholic. We are suppose to have separation of church and state in america. I do think their religion influenced their vote. I also think that this is a way of government ruling over a woman's body. If men were the ones who got pregnant this would not be an issue--it would diffently be accepted!

I honestly sit on the fence with this issue. 

Name: Emma | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 3:46 PM
me to, i think every single womans/girls situation will be different so its hard to say well this is right and that is wrong,
i dont think a female should be made in any way to have/carry a child she does not want.
i will never judge anyone that has an abortion becuase you never no the whole story, and fro whatever reasons that woman has i no that having an abortion is NOT easy, and definitly isnt the easy way out. 

Name: briseis | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 3:54 PM
Depends on what you call an abortion. The morning after pill could be considered it, indeed removing an ectopic pregnancy could be considered it. Why is that any different to any other abortion? I'm not one for telling others what to do ... 

Name: Emma | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 4:04 PM
And i would NEVER call someone a baby killer if they had an abortion,
i have had that said about me many times, even by someone on here,
that cuts pretty deep‼ 

Name: M | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 4:17 PM
Very true emma. However, I do think that is how many pro life people view women who have had abortions. That is why this issue is so controversial. I also would not say that to a woman. I do think that it is probably a very difficult decision. I think the women who have several abortions and treat it as a form of birth control are in the minority. I do not think that this is the way it is for most women. 

Name: Emma | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 4:21 PM
The woman you use it as a form of contraception, in my opion are digusting, they just abuse the system, and also i this make people have a negative view on abortions.
but most people who have said nasty comments to me about only say it to hurt, which it does even now. 

Name: M | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 4:36 PM
I can understand how that comment would cut deep. In america prolife campaigns can get very brutal. Sometimes they will stand outside of clinics and shout at women as they walk in. This is something that will remain controversial forever. There are no easy answers. Forcing a woman to give birth against her will does not guarantee a happy ending for the child. It is very very complicated.

I am sorry that you have been called that. Not everyone is like that. 

Name: Nicolaaa | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 4:40 PM
yeah the pro-life campaigns....I think something like that really would cut me. Iv seen clips of the protests....I know they have their beliefs and they are entitled to them, but they are absolutley trying hard to make another woman feel like a murderer, something she is not. They (sorry to be generalising, but i am talking about extremists here) are passionate believers yes, but they MUST respect people's own free will, for the christians among you, Why did god give us free will if we havent the right to use it? and why did God grant doctors the knowledge of how to perform such procedures? 

Name: Nicolaaa | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 4:41 PM
Jesus taught love and compassion, so wouldnt the compassionate thing to do, be to respect a mothers decision and support her? Help her through her troubled times?

Instead of branding her a murderer etc. 

Name: Nicolaaa | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 5:16 PM
no worries marija....and Thats the first Iv read about it. again...you got balls girl. 

Name: homemommichele | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 7:27 PM
Wow just got home and trying to find the question addressed to me!!
Multiple pregnancies?? I hope at some point they find a way to refind fertility txs so that does not happen. I have to say that for myself, I could never ever choose one to be "reduced" so I would have to go through with it and leave it in Gods hands. We had a woman here in America about 6 years ago, and she had 7 and they are all doing great. She had very strong beliefs and could not do that, and I admire her greatly.
The difference between that and ectopic is with an ectopic one it is implanted in a fallopian tube or somewhere besides the uterus. the baby is already dead, as it could never ever get the nutrition needed to develop and grow, and there is nothing that can be done about that. 

Name: homemommichele | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 7:29 PM
In our church there is a retreat for what the bishop called "the other victimis of abortion" where women who had them can come and heal. I am glad there is this spiritual counseling and forgiveness. I am sure it helps a lot of women heal. As for that one who's hubby threatened to leave her then left her anyway.... It has always been my opinion that a MAN is never worth my children. What a slimebucket!! 

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