Hello, guest
Name: Julia
[ Original Post ]
Hello ladies,
Denise's topic on "how many kids are you going to have" made me really think, so now I am going to ask for your advise. ;)
I just turned 33 in June and I have one daughter. We were going to start trying for number two now, but since we are moving out of State next month, we have decided to wait until we get settled there (unless I am already prego of course, hehe). So I was thinking by the fall we would 'actively" start trying again. ;) Here's my concern, we are hoping for four children, but will be happy with three. Depending on how fast I get pregnant, do you think it's possible to be done by the age of 38? I do not mean done with pushing them all out, just pregnant with my 4th by 38. I know it's hard to determine this with not knowing how quickly I will conceive, but is it still possible looking at the time I start trying and hoping to finish? And as crazy as it sounds, yes, I do want them back to back and close in age. :]) The reason for the questions is more for the feedback I get to see what you're all thinking and how realistic you think it is, heehee. Please let me know your thoughts. Thank you!!
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Name: Denise | Date: Jul 10th, 2006 1:38 AM
I think it is possible to have four kids by the time you are 38. But there is a lot to consider, for example: Do you want to BF for a year or six months with each child? Do you have a lot of stress in your life? Do you plan to go back to work? Will your husband help you with each child? Do you have a good support system? Is both you and your husband in good health? Do you plan on using Birth Control in between pregnancies? Can you afford to have 3 in diapers at the same time? Only you can answer these questions. I read an article at the OBGYN's office and it said, if you are 34 right now, you probably want be able to conceive for two years, because ovulation depletes as we get older. It took me two years between each one of mine, but I was under a lot of stress. If you AND YOUR HUSBAND want 4 and he is willing to help you, and you can afford it, then go for it, but don't take birth control pills because you don't want your cycle to get messed up. Sorry this was so long. 

Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Jul 10th, 2006 2:57 AM
I don't think it's impossible to have 4 kids but the time you are 38 but at the same time it really depends on your body as to whether you will concieve each child to make it possible. I had always said that I wanted all my children by the time that I was 30. So far things are looking good, but I had tried for over a year with my second one only to find out I had secondary Infertility which made it impossible for me to get pregnant without fertility drugs. I think it's sort of like child birth, have an idea of what you would like delivery to be like but be willing to compermise (I know I can't spell) because in the end you could feel upset that things didn't go as planned. Again I don't think it is completely unrealistic. 

Name: Julia | Date: Jul 10th, 2006 5:59 AM
After reading the posts I think three will be plenty!! hahaha. I didn't think about the diapers part or the depleting ovulation! The other things mentioned is a yes, but I would be worried about a few. I know you read that if you're 34 ovulation may slow down, but being that I am 33 maybe we should keep trying now then? I do not want to risk it taking a year or longer! I am ready now so cannot imagine having to wait that long. I never imagined that I would be worried about such things, it's blowing me away! Great advise and pointers, you gals are awesome! 

Name: Denise | Date: Jul 10th, 2006 9:18 PM
Another thing to think about is, you want to give each child at least one year of quality time to be the baby. And it might take a good year to loose the pregnancy weight. I read that it takes 12-18 months to replinish the body from nutrients that we have lost from each pregnancy. You would want your body to be in the best condition possible for the next pregnancy so there are no birth defects. Plus, your husband is going to get pretty lonily, if you know what I mean, if you are constantly pregnant. Why not make each birth special. Just my personal opionion. Never give yourself a time frame, it never worked for me. I said I didn't want any more kids after 35, but now I am enjoying my second son so much that I am willing to wait a little longer (I am thinking of three kids too). Husband wants to stop but I think he will change his mind if time passes by. By the way, I met a lady at the park today that had a 3 year old at 46, so now I know I can give it some time. If things don't work out, I am perfectly happy with the two boys I have. Just watching them interact makes me happy. 

Name: Julia | Date: Jul 10th, 2006 9:53 PM
Denise- very, very true!! The more I think about it, having three would be more practical all the way around, and we would still be happy with that number. It's amazing how so many women are having their babies in their late 30's, early 40's. Remember back in the day 18-20 was the normal age! 

Name: Irene | Date: Jul 11th, 2006 11:19 AM
Hi julia,
itsvery possible to have 4 kids before 38, Lol im the living proof, i just turned 37 on the 7th of july and i have 3 kids and another due in les than 2 months, so there you have it,
i had my 1st at 29, 2nd at 30, 3rd at 33 & 1/2 and now this one soon,
i know im done as its exactly what we wanted, i wanted 4 kids before 40 so we have it and im happy,
all the best and have fun xx 

Name: Julia | Date: Jul 11th, 2006 7:36 PM
Irene, you go girl!!!! :)
My only problem is, I will be starting my 2nd at 33. You had a little head start. ;) But I guess anything is possible. We will work on three and then re-evaluate our situation and see if we want to go for one more. ;) Thanks for the encouragement!

By the way, is it easy having them close in age? I heard it's actually better because they entertain one another. Hearing that put me at ease too. 

Name: Stacy | Date: Jul 11th, 2006 11:01 PM
It is recomended that a mother have at least 18 months from the birth of one child to the birth of the next for both mother & baby to recieve proper nutrition. That said 3 children in 5 years it shouldn't be a problem, but you might want to give yourself until 40 to be on the safe side. 

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