|
HI to anyone who might remember me! I've not been on in ages. My son is 17 and has a girlfriend and it's driving me NuTs!!!! He hogs the phone and thinks his life has to revolve solely around HER. Her life seems to have alot of drama and of course my son thinks he's got to play hero and be available to her at any time for any reason 24/7 and it's really getting on my nerves. She is all that matters to him. He's been getting in trouble at school alot for being tardy for classes and although he won't admit it I'm pretty sure it's got something to do with HER. Last week he had detention everyday and twice on wednesday,(before and after school. Then he gets an ISC ( in-school suspension) that he has to serve next monday for AGAIN being tardy to a class. I'm getting really tired of it and I'm not sure what to do about it.He graduates in May (thank God) but geez he's in trouble more now in school than he's ever been! My guess is that he is probably walking his girlfriend to her classes and therefore is getting to his own late,therefore resulting in tardies. But what my fear is that next time he will probably be kicked out for 3 days. Tell me what to do please! ↓
|
|
| Name: Joeys_Mam | Date: Feb 8th, 2009 2:27 PM |
| Stop blaming your son's gf for his mistakes. He's 17; he can take responsibility for his own timekeeping. There is nothing you can do; if you interfere you'll suddenly become a typical interfering mother who doesn't want another woman in her son's life. And that'll push him away. You can advice him to work harder, be on time, he can do that AND have a relationship with his girlfriend. But for goodness sake, it is HIS fault he is late and it is HIS fault if he doesn't do well, not her's. ↑ |
| Name: Joeys_Mam | Date: Feb 8th, 2009 2:45 PM |
| By the way, don't mean to sound harsh cause I'm sure you're worried. But I have the Mother in Law from Hell who won't have anything to do with me, her son or our baby because she hates the fact that her son's world suddenly doesn't revolve around her anymore and that he has other priorities. She has done every horrendous thing possible to split me and her 34 year old son up but it won't work and now we're getting on with our lives without her. I'm just warning you that mothers who blame the girlfriends for their son's mishaps are never happy in the end. You seem very bitter towards his girlfriend when really what has this girl actually done wrong? Made your son happy? That's about it. Everything else is his wrongdoing and nothing to do with what she has actually done. If he chooses to walk her to class, even though it makes him late for his own (bearing in mind this is just a theory of yours) than this is his fault. You can have a word with him about his lateness, but blaming his girlfriend will cause nothing but resentment from him if he is this infatuated with her. If you want my advice, have a word with your son about his schoolwork but back off from his relationship with his girlfriend. ↑ |
| Name: cherisalorraine | Date: Feb 9th, 2009 1:39 PM |
| Does he get punishment beyond what the school gives out when he misbehaves there? I am not getting in on the whole blame the girl thing either but I do feel that eduction is top priority in any ones life at that age. Maybe you need to set limits until he understand better that he must take responsibility to have reward. I am not saying treat him like a young child or anything but may is a long time off and it would be sad to see him suffer for the trouble he is getting into now later when places look at his transcripts. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 9th, 2009 11:01 PM |
Hey Lizzie!!!!!!!!
great to see you.
well with a 17 year old it gets kind of tricky.
I would suggest sitting down with him and asking him what is up and what you can do to help. I would then put sonsequesces on at home for behaviour hapening at school.
I would not however show him any hostility you may have for his girlfriend as it may very well push him away from you and he may be resentful
17 is a tricky age as they THINK they know everything and think they have their priorities in order.
Just sit down and have an open chat........to start with. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Feb 10th, 2009 12:53 AM |
I'm not against my sons girlfriend but when he is repeatedly late for class then yes I do hold her somewhat accountable for it because they BOTH are the reason why he is late. She continues to allow him to walk her to class knowing full well he will be late for his own and yet she doesn't seem to care about the trouble he will be in for it.
And when they are on the phone and I tell Curtis it's time to hang up,I know she hears me and they BOTH ignore me and keep on talking and it's very irritating and I find it disrespectful on BOTH their parts. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 10th, 2009 1:18 AM |
Lizzie if you tell him to get off the phone and he ignores it......go unplug it! I would! but again hmmm 17 is tricky, for me I was moved out of home by that age because I thought I new everything, did not like the rules in t home etc......stupid me! lol......
If I new everything I thought I knew at 17 I would be a flippin genious! lol......
geeez, I think the only thing to do is to sit down and talk to start with, re affirm the Rules and expectation and if he wants to live under YOUR roof he needs to follow the rules of the home........eg getting to school and classes on time, x amount of time on the phone at once, and whatever else it is you expect of him.......but remind him, your home, your rules, and I know I know I know this is such a phrase that everyone hates, but really he needs to realise he is not an adult while living off of you!
Good luck Lizzie ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Feb 10th, 2009 6:51 PM |
| thank-you winnmom,I love your advice! ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 11th, 2009 3:56 AM |
| i hope you are doing well Lizzie!!!!!! ↑ |
|
|
