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Name: Denise
[ Original Post ]
My sister and I used to talk on the phone everyday and became very close. She started a new job last Sept. and the phone calls pretty much stopped (her hrs. were 8A-1P). We bought a new house around the same time and I became pregnant. At first I felt like she stopped calling because she was either jeleous of our new house, the new baby, or because I was home now and she had to work. Needless to say, her and her husband went camping when they said they would help us move and she hasn't been there through the entire pregnancy. She didn't come to the hospital when I had my baby, because she said she had to work. She drove her husband crazy for a new house and he said NO! So she quite her job. Now that she is at home, she has called me everyday for the last two days wanting to be buddy buddy again after almost an entire year. Part of me is still mad, but part of me likes having her back. My husband says I should get her back by not answering her phone calls. When we do talk, it is always about her and their plans for remodeling their home. What would you do? Sorry, this was so long. I feel like I have been there for her through both of her pregnancies and all of her problems with her mentally challenged son and she has just dumped me because of jeleousy.
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Name: firewife | Date: Jul 15th, 2006 2:31 PM
Wow, are you sure you are not talking about my sister! Same thing She rarely calls me, only if she needs something and when we do talk, I never get a word in, its always about her, her, her. She never asks about my new baby, she has never come to see him, didn't come to my shower or the hospital. And the worst part is our babies are only 3 weeks apart and yes I went to all of those for her. my hubby can't stand her or her husband, she is a drama queen and her world is always falling apart and I am expected to help her, but your right i think its jealousy, i really wish she was there for me like i am for her. sorry for typo, nursing baby, typing 1 handed. 

Name: charla | Date: Jul 15th, 2006 3:28 PM
i have a stepsister that does the exact same thing when we buy a car they buy a car when i had a baby they joked how many more are you gonna have ( i have 3 ) wouldnt you know it not long after they are having there 3rd! amazing and no one else sees it but my hubby and i of course my step mother would never admit this. anyway we moved 4 hours away from them it has been wonderful no contact , i know that she is your real sister and moving wouldnt be an option but it changed my life for the better . maybe you should tell her how you feel about whats been going on sure she will probebly get offended but at least you will feel better that you got it off your chest good luck!!!! 

Name: Serina S | Date: Jul 15th, 2006 3:57 PM
Have you ladies tried telling them how you feel..in as nice a way as you can?? Ya know some people do not realize how they are hurting others by there actions. I had to have a talk with my sister and now she is alot better.When she forget like when I call her to tell her something and She does not let me get a word in edge wise...I say Hey sis I call to tell YOU something..She now says Oh sorry & lets me tell her. I know that she does not have a lot of people to talk . When I finish telling my tale I let her talk all she wants. We all get so wraped up in our own life sometimes. Be happy that they want to share with you. I will call my brothere 9 times and never get a return call .When I do catch him he hardly talks at all I have to keep asking question to find out anything.( a lot of work!!)
I hope I helped some .
Good luck 

Name: maxieellis | Date: Jul 15th, 2006 6:04 PM
This all sounds so hurtfull. Talk when you have time Denise...if you are tooooooo busy and have stuff to do like I know you must, we all do.....you may have to fib a bit if it sounds like the conversation is going again to be long and involved and all about her. Something like....(oh and the best part is....usually no busy mom has to fib!) oh my gosh I have to run for this or that or the kids are at it and I gotta go...ya know? You know your sister and you would know if the problem or issue she needs to talk about is that serious. Then either allow the time (out of love) or let her know that as soon a humanly possible you will call her back. Its a balancing act. You love to have her back......but at the same time.....you too have a life and responsibilities. Its not anymore like when you were kids or teenagers.....all the time in the world...and even as sisters you have to find some respect for that. I believe you have respect....but it has to go both ways is what I mean....form her too.

Serina.....I know what you mean.....but sometimes with some sisters....its like lighting a firecracker or worse. I have a sister like that.....I have tried, in fact I walk on eggshells when I have had to ..... and by golly it just turns nasty. Over the years and it helps (we are a 1000 miles apart) I have just come to accept that is who she is.........and dont go there anymore....for what? So now its just pleasent talk....family....kids....and never too deep. Sad. Yes I know.....I really love her so very much. But anytime I have made the mistake in the past (years ago) of telling her anything of substance.......deep feeling things....oh my gosh it has just come back at some point and slapped me right in the face. I have just been crushed by that toooooooo many times....so now I am kind....still there for her ......if she really needed me that bad....but I keep my personal stuff....to myself. Enough slaps ya know?

Denise if you think that would help, talking to her that is....you know her....maybe worth an attempt...? Who knows...well you do.

Anyway, once again Denise take care..... 

Name: Layne | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 12:50 AM
Im with maxie. keep it light. 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 7:41 PM
Ya know what? You are sisters and life is just too short for you to put a wall up even though I know thats exactly what was done to you by her.If you love your sister,be glad she's back in your life and bask in it. You never know when GOD is going to take you (or her) out so enjoy each other while you can. And even though your feelings might be a little bruised over her actions,the main point is she wants to be back in your life now,so let her and enjoy each others company. I knew someone who was just 45 and without warning died instantly of a bloodclot that traveled quickly to her heart. It shocked everyone who knew her because of her age and because there was no warning,(she had just worked the day before this happened to her). So it just goes to show you that none of us knows how much (or little) time we have here on this earth so please don't waste what time you do have being angry,or jealous,or upset,or rebellious because it just isn't worth it. Embrace your sister and let her know how much you have missed her and care about her,you will feel better when you do. 


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