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Name: Layne
[ Original Post ]
Ok, I know staying home with my children was the only way to go for me.I have a son with severe adhd. I wouldn't put him in Day care for nothing.In fear someone would not have the compassion for him. He is 11 now and I think I'm ready to work. We live in a very small town Of 1,500 people. So you can imagine the pay here. ( Not great) I am so tired of feeling alone and worthless. I am proud of the mother i am. I have poored my heart and soul into being a good mother.I have to admitt though that I feel trapped not being able to go out and make a good living someday. I have only a high school education so im very limited with job's I am also 42 yrs old.who else feels as I do?
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Name: me | Date: May 17th, 2006 4:26 PM
I feel the same way.I have raised my child up as best I could which has turned out well for both of us and now even though I'm still needed,it's not like it used to be and since I've been a stay at home mom all these years,and have limited education,I feel kind of worthless now like being a good parent was my job but now since I'm not needed as much anymore,I'm like "okay,what am I supposed to be doing with my life now?"I have anxiety problems too so that limits my ability further.I wish I knew where to turn! 

Name: sonia | Date: May 17th, 2006 5:13 PM
GO to college that is what I am doing so when my children are all in school I can go to work doing something I love. When I am not in school I feel the same as you do. School is a life saver for me. 

Name: Layne | Date: May 17th, 2006 10:59 PM
ive also had trouble with anxiety. Staying at home has caused alot of that i believe. You get in a comfort zone and its hard to break out. Sonia, school sounds like a good start but it was never easy for me. Im more of a hands on person. I guess the adhd runs in the family. Medication is out of the question for me as i have other medical issues and cant take it. (Im kinda between a rock and a hard place.)I'll find a job somewhere just to make extra cash and hope nothing happens to hubby. He's 11 years older and not in great shape. Maybe will move from this small town where there are more options,someday. 

Name: E | Date: May 17th, 2006 11:56 PM
That's a tricky one. I'm in the same situation (living in the middle of the woods, the closest town of 7,000 is 30 min away) but I've had a lifetime of office wotk (I'm 42, just started a family, have 2 toddlers). The thought of going to office gives me hives. If you want to have a steady paycheck then yes, the move to a bigger city/town is necessary. So far, I see more of artistic or entreprenerial people around who enjoy being away from hustle and bustle. If you create something (jewelry, paitings, stained glass, so on) then it doesn't really matter where you reside since the invention of Internet. But to be more realistic, if you want predictable and relatively worry-free existence and view a job as just a way to make a living - then yes, the small places should be avoided. 

Name: 3 time nursing mom | Date: May 18th, 2006 8:29 AM
Layne,
with a few alterations, a couple of years ago, I could have written your post.

I used to be dealing with that issue also, for many many years. Many many years. I started despairing in my early 20's. It sounds silly now, but that is when I started having children, and no longer had the independence to further my own pursuits, unless it was raising children. Ofcourse the fact that I had a very immature man as a supposed spouse did not help the matter any. But that's another story, lol.

For many years, I felt like there was a brick wall in front of me, and my talents and a fruitful life was on the other side, but that I would never be able to get to it. I couldn't even see it, but knew it was there, and it was mocking me. On the other side of that brick wall. And I had no way of tearing it down, and didn't know of anything else to do. I was stuck.

Stuck in the daily labors of my humdrum life. Stuck with entry level jobs that never went anywhere, nor ever would. My brain wasted away so badly I couldn't even take a community ed course if it required me to use my brain just a little bit.

But, after counseling, I realized that though the potential of my youth was gone, and with it several opportunities, I did take on other opportunities and developed other potentials. They just seemed so routine to me that I did not realize the value of what they were. But to get to that point of self acceptance and appreciation, is a very private journey.

Here is an e-card that my friend sent me for Mother's Day. It is such a powerful message, that it got me literally crying. For me, it hit what and how I was feeling right on the head. While at the same time, it offers the solution that worked for me in getting my own heart out of that vicious circle that haunted me for years.

Let's see how the site link works on here now, though, lol. Website links do not do well on this forum.

http://www.dayspring.com/e
cards/card.asp?ID=031e23df-sjm
 

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