Sorry for the massive title.
My crazy daughter Kaisha is nine months old now. She was weaned between three and four months (Very big girl, me and her father were weaned early too) I had a load of flack thrown at me for that one, but I made a decision as a mother to give her some babyrice etc and what do you know? She was fine...
:o)
Well like I say she's now nine months and she's stopped drinking her bottles....scarily, she'll drink cows milk. (Doh!)
So we've dropped bottles and we are giving her cows milk/formula mixture 1/2/ 'n' 1/2 She wolfs it down from a cup, she's shown no negative effects and seems much more content. I have taken into account the "Iron issue" and have supplemented Kaisha's diet with Kale/spinach/and fortified cereals. I have been looking for information and making sure I do everything to keep Kaisha healthy.
My problem is I wonder if what I'm doing is wrong/normal/pushy..whatever.. I have no-one to ask except for people on forums like this because my health visitor scares the s**t out of me.
I have a long history of self-harm which is written on my files, everytime I do something my health visitor disagrees with she brings it up...and remarks about my mental health.
I DID suffer with PND, I have been under a psychiatrist...but I love my daughter, and I AM a great mother..
Surely decisions like weaning/cows milk etc should be mine to make?
I'm so scared they are going to take her away from me....
Please will someone give me some encouraging advice?
thankyou
kellie
xx ↓
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| Name: Fiona | Date: Apr 12th, 2006 6:09 PM |
Giving a baby food before the age of four months can cause kidney damage. I know you don't like your health visitor, but you should listen to her as she only has your baby's wellbeing at heart.
The Department of Health have laid down guidelines regarding weaning and the feeding of cows milk which health visitors have to follow. These guidelines are based on sound scientific evidence.
You shouldn't give cows milk too early as it can lead to allergy.
I'm sorry if you don't like my post, but you should really listen to the health people. ↑ |
| Name: Kellie | Date: Apr 12th, 2006 6:12 PM |
| Thanks thats very encouraging... ↑ |
| Name: Don't you people listen? | Date: Apr 12th, 2006 6:19 PM |
It's obvious that kellie doesn't want to talk to her health visitor...so how can she
"I'm sorry if you don't like my post, but you should really listen to the health people."
Her health visitor sounds like a piece of work to me. I would request another. Or ask her blatantly if she has a problem with the way you are bringing up your daughter. I've seen the way health officals treat people regarding self injury. Some of them can be really abrasive.
Anyway, Kellie I think it is up to you. Only you know your daughter, not me or fiona. You make your decisions, It sounds like something you haven't taken lightly and that a lot of research has gone into it. Coming from england I don't know of many parents round here who would be as concerned and thoughtful about it. (I do live in London though) Also you said your daughter wasn't drinking her formlua unless there was cows milk? well then, sounds like any milk is better than nothing. What do you think they do in areas where there is no formula? give them beer? hahaha
I hope that was encoraging advice. jen. ↑ |
| Name: Fiona | Date: Apr 12th, 2006 7:22 PM |
I've given you some proper Department of Health guidelines, but you don't want to listen.
You should learn to ignore your health visitors comments about you and just concentrate on your daughter.
You asked if what you were doing is wrong, so presumably you want an honest answer. You have to learn to listen to your doctor, nurse, health visitor etc. regardless of what you think of them or your daughter won't receive the best care. What happens if she takes ill or when she needs her immunisations? Are you going to argue with them over this and that? They are trained you know. Some like to think they know best and stick their noses in, but you have to rise above it. My health visitor irritates me sometimes, but I just get on with it for my son's sake.
You seem very reactive. You'll need to learn to have a thick skin or you'll end up by arguing with everyone all through her life.
Giving cows milk too early can lead to allergy. My son was given peanuts too early whilst in the care of his stupid father and now if he comes into contact with any, he is at risk of developing anaphylactic shock. Perhaps if his father had read the guidelines then my son wouldn't have to carry an adrenaline pen everywhere he goes now.
The advice the health professionals give isn't mumbo jumbo but based on scientific research and evidence. ↑ |
| Name: Kellie | Date: Apr 12th, 2006 7:59 PM |
I didn't argue... all I said was...thats very encouraging.. Thankyou for the advice...
Jeez I'm not the only one thats seems reactive! ↑ |
| Name: Fiona | Date: Apr 12th, 2006 8:07 PM |
| Sorry, I thought you were taking the p*ss. A lot of people do that here you see. ↑ |
| Name: dee43701 | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 5:09 AM |
| i am sorry but my son was alergic to formulla and my doc. put him on cows milk at 4 or 5 months he is fine and no milk alergies. my doc. also said homemade formula is whole milk and karo syrup so do that if you think it would be better but it does not matter i realy don't know anyone besides some people on this board who waited until there baby was a year old to give them reg. milk you are her mother. you know what she wants and needs and i used to worry about them taking my daughter from me when i made big decisions like that so much i drove myself crazy so i called childern services and they told me it takes alot to even investagate a mother and then if they do have a concern they give you a time to fix it by unless it is horrible like beating them or not feeding them drastic stuff like that. i don't think you realy have anything to worry about. hope i helped a little. you should feel good that she is off of the bottle with out a fight lol ↑ |
| Name: sonia | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 5:32 AM |
| You really don't have to tell her what you feed your little one and as long as she looks healthy she won't say anything to you. ↑ |
| Name: channie | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 10:34 AM |
| Hi aslong as she is ok and not poorly or having allergies then you are ok. at 9 months she should be eating pretty much everyting. finger foods, especially lumpy foods i wouldnt worry if she is having a good diet of fruit and veg. ↑ |
| Name: Maxie | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 4:38 PM |
Hi Kellie. I could be wrong but I think what is really worrying you is the fact you have a history and are afraid they could take your baby away.
Kellie I am just a mom...but a mom who talks to other moms. Mistakes are made..yes and it happens toooooo often. But heres the thing. You have got to be a pretty horrible mother for someone to have the "correct" right, shall we say to take your child. There has to be evidence. Either of neglect or abuse which are about the same thing. Cows milk over formula does not make you horrible regardless of history. Not to mention...you it "sounds" like..looked into the matter very carefully. That too is not horrible. But wise.
This is the internet. If it had been me I would just say it was...but the following is not about me. My girlfriend of 25 years smokes pot. She got scared after her son was born. She made an anonynomus call to social services and just asked about it. What if she was caught smoking and charged. The answer was this...a court of law wishes aways to have the child with the parent, espically with the mother. You would have to be doing some pretty terrible things and to your children also, for them to feel the need to take the child away. Smoking pot was not enough for them to remove a child.
When my first was born, my daughter...I too was scared. Was everyone around me thinking I wasnt doing this or that right...enough to take away my baby??!!!!!! I think Kellie a first time mom fears many things. And one of the greatest fears after that wee baby child is put in your arms, is someone, somewhere will take them from you one way or another.
Please dont worry Kellie...you just continue being that great mom to your little one. Love...affection, gentle tone all of that, is all your baby needs from you...besides right now a diaper change and feeding. Your face is their world.
If and I mean if you feel like you are feeling blue just a litle more than normal. If you are having trouble remembering things. If you more often then you would like feel you are disconnected from yourself. If copeing day to day become just a stress...see a doctor asap. You may have PPD. It would just make you feel worse than you are now if you ignore. You must try and keep a check on these feelings, thoughs and emotions...just in case
Other than that Kellie, live and enjoy your new family. Your health care worker truly does have the childs (any childs) best interest on the top of their list. Though they are human and some of us are better at our jobs and with people than others. It may be the case a bit here...or dear you are just wound up about your history, the pen that picks up and writes in the little folder what seems toooooo often. Yes Kellie they could be watching but who cares????!!!!! You only have to worry about it if you know inside, privately, that you are not really a good mom. If you tend their needs, show love and all the rest when you are with baby...then turn off the worry. Talk to the worker. Dont just answer questions. Let them know you have looked into this or that asked other mothers and interested in her opinion. (Ok at least look interested) and maybe make your own call and see what they have to say about a history like yours...NO !!! dont tell them who is calling...just talk and ask. Be truthfull or you wont get the proper information. Do it from a pay phone if you have to help put your mind to rest. Too...you are that childs mother. You know you child. Dont let anyone get to you with their looks or comments...raise your own kids and I will raise mine should be your attitude. They know nothing. Just think they know better. Most of these types have blue hair...that was my experience. I just got sick of it after a while and commented back ... shut them up I did (not proud of that) but I had all I was prepared to take. I was a great mom with my babies and still am. I was not book perfect but I know in my heart all I ever wanted was for them to be healthy, safe, and know that no matter what they will always be loved by me. Nothing could change that ever. I have told them that since their day one.
Take care Kellie.
We are always here for you Kellie...chin up hon..you are a mother now and you are in charge. Know it and fell it. This will protect you both form more than just the health worker ↑ |
| Name: Bernadette | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 4:46 PM |
| i have wean all my kids off formula about 9 to 10 months old, and they are all healthy kids. i have given them all cereal about 3 months old. Shoot back in the old days they gave children Cow milks some as early as 3 months old. So Kellie as long as they are heathly and not showing signs of being allergic i would worry to much ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: May 4th, 2006 5:34 PM |
Hi my baby was always a very hungery little boy so on the advice of my health vistor we started to wean him at 3 months,he is now 21 months and is a perfectly healthy!
They are not always right every baby is different!
You do what you think is best for your baby,after all you are her mother and know her best. ↑ |
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