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Name: Nicola
[ Original Post ]
Im not a stay at home mum, but I think you are all very friendly and warm and this seems to be a chatty forum...
Well, you may or may not know or believe my story. I'm almost 17 and I have 16 month old twin daughters called Poppy and Daisy as a result of a rape. I kept them and not a day has gone by when I am not in some way pleased I made that choice. Anyway, I am still young but I feel so much older, I am at school full time and half a weekend job and the rest of the time im a loving mother and daughter! I love my girlies more than I love anything in the world. I cant picture life without them, that is why I find it so hard to believe I nearly aborted them and then almost gave them away. Anyway Im going of subject. What I wanted to know was what did people think was a nice age gap between children. I want mine to grow up really close, which they are though they do sometimes attempt to kill eachother. I feel so broody and in need of another baby sometimes and it's depressing. I know Im in no situation to have more children, im living with my mum, low finances and stressed but I cant help but feel taht maybe I should have another baby, so that it can grow up with a tight bond between it and its sisters. I just wondered what age you think is a good idea to have a sibling for your baby and if you had any good/bad experiences with different ages. My girls have playmates, my boyfriends daughter is also 1, (I got her age wrong by 2 months last time I spoke about her!) and they go to a childminder and a nursery type creche while im in school but I just feel sometimes that I owe them a little bro or sister...I dont know if what im saying is nay sense at all, im just rambling on.. Im bored, hormonal and ovulating heheheeee!
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Name: nicole miller | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 10:10 PM
I don't know that having a little brother or sister who is close in age is quite as important as having the best possible chance at a stable (financially and otherwise) home right now. If they do end up with a sibling 4 or 5 years their junior it may be better than to put more stress on right now to keep them close in age. That's just my personal oppinion.

We're pregnant right now, and planning to have another very close after this one - but we looked at that decision very very closely before making it.... and we have probably above average income. Babies are expensive. I know that you probably know just how expensive - but there is college, and cars, and other things to think about later. Right now we have one going into braces, one in football and baseball etc., and one about to be in diapers.... the aren't babies forever, and they only get MORE expensive as they get older. Before long we'll have two in diapers and one about to need a car.... that's a big consideration. I personally wish I could just have a whole gaggle of kids - but I have to make sure that I can afford them and not deprive the ones we do have of the things that they need and want. It's just not fair to put out any of the kids for the sake of having more. Trust me, if I won the lottery tomorrow we'd throw birth control out the window and have 6 more, lol. 

Name: saxton_emma | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 10:16 PM
i wish i was in the postion to have another baby, i get sooo broody when i see my friends babys and look at all of mias baby pictures, but seemin as i am single i dont think it will be happening for a long time.lol. 

Name: winnmom | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 10:16 PM
I think every situation is different as far as best age difference goes. The most important thing is not the age difference, it is the love, security and well being of each child.
You have 2 little girls, I would say to wait, finish school, get married, have your own home.
Ours are, 15, 13, 11, 10, and 4 .
Financially speaking a person/ couple should not have more children then they can afford to properly raise. 

Name: jillw | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 10:27 PM
I had my son young I was also 17. I knew that I did not want to have more children until I was married and stable. My son will be 10 when his little sister is born. I know that is far apart, but it was best for my family and my son that way. he is still just as excited about the baby as if I would have had her when he was 2. My brother and I are 18 months apart and we are very close. I know that my son and daughter will not have that same type of relationship, but they will still love each other. 

Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 10:33 PM
Ha! im having this one child and THAT is IT!! if i have to go get something tied off...cut off..or hell burnt off i will do it! 

Name: nicole miller | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 10:43 PM
I forgot to mention how far apart the kids are. The youngest will be 9 years older than his little brother, and the older one will be 14 years older than her little brother... and they are BOTH very very excited about the baby. They are old enough to really appreciate what's going on - and not be so jealous. They don't need that same type of constant attention, so I think it actually works out better. This one and the next will have their own dynamic, but I don't think it will be better or worse.

The kids call us from their mother's a couple times a week and they ask to talk to me to see how the baby is doing. They are still very shy about touching my belly (they're obviously not my biological children) so they haven't felt it kick, but they've asked if they can be at the hospital when he's born. We told them that provided they aren't in school they can come in the room the second he's out. Age difference doesn't change the how much sibilings love eachother - just HOW they love eachother. 


Name: Julia | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 11:10 PM
Hi Nicola,
My daughter is 7 and we are trying for number two now. So they will be (hopefully) about 8 years apart. And by the time we have our 3rd, they will be around 10 years apart. My husband is getting his Doctorate in Pharmacy and I had to work full time to support the family. So even though I REALLY had that Mommy itch for another baby earlier, I knew it would not be in our better interest financially. Sometimes you just have to sacrifice to have a good, stable life. Be patient, you are young and have plenty of time. The twins have each other, so having an age gap with the other siblings shouldn't be a problem for them. Like winnmom stated, get married, buy your home, save some money, and just get your life on track first. You will be glad you did in the end! 

Name: Julia | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 11:12 PM
Oh bunny stop it! You are young, you will want more once you get married. You're so damn negative woman!! 

Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 11:15 PM
Julia! i hate being pregnant it sucks so bad!! why anyone enjoys it ..it puzzles me! Oh and i havent even experienced LABOUR YET!
1 baby for me! i would go insane if it was anymore 

Name: Julia | Date: Nov 16th, 2006 1:42 AM
I only hated the first trimester because I was so sick. For 3 months straight I threw up anything that went into my mouth! After that, I loved being pregnant. I had no other side effects other than a little heart burn my last month. I cannot wait to be prego again! 

Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 16th, 2006 2:42 AM
I just hate everything...morning sickness wasnt too bad for me...its the back pain and the terrible pain around my ribs..he seems to love sitting there. He moves CONSTANTLY ! he seems to sleep with me when i go to bed..that doesnt wake me up..but i cant sit still for a minute and off he goes!
I hate the heart burn..and my fingers and feet feeling so achey...i hate all this extra weight when i spent FOREVER getting a decent looking body...i hate peeing every 10 minutes...i miss swimming and working out and drinking! i cant WAIT to NOT be pregnant! 

Name: Julia | Date: Nov 16th, 2006 2:57 AM
Oh that sounds awful. I didn't have any of that, thank goodness. I just hope I am that lucky the next time. I don't blame you.
I know you have probably said it a million times, but how old are you again? 

Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 16th, 2006 3:03 AM
I'm 21 ....and yea obviously this is my First.

I'm definly the first one to admit that i am immature and selfish, i used to work to live..go out party hard and have fun, do what i wanted and didnt care or have to worry about anyone but myself.

I'm definly going to do whats right by my child..im not irresponsible just still kinda pisses me off ive lost some of the greatest years of my life 

Name: PiageM | Date: Nov 16th, 2006 10:31 AM
You crack me up girl ! ! ! lol

I would love to have another child...but like you i'm not too sure when would be the right time. I guess it depends more on your situation, financially and emotionally 

Name: Nicola | Date: Nov 16th, 2006 10:56 AM
I know I shouldnt really have another child, I have only just been able to afford to start a college fund for mine, I put £30 a month each into some sort of savings scheme that my advisor set up for me and thta'll pay for cars/lessons etc and hopefully university if they are the little smart arses they seem to think they are. Thnaks for your advice anyway. My neighbours sons are 3 and 2 and they are so close it's heartwarming. Me and my brother are 20 months apart and we were very close aswell, though now we are not but that's because he's in puberty and he's an asshole to be around at the moment.Anyway I should really go and pick up the twins so Ill be seeing you ladies later hopefully when I can read the advice a little more. 

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