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i am currently a stay at home mom of a six month boy, im not married but we are very much together. my partner is often gone for periods of time due to his work. i have basically developed a notion: to be strong with daddy her and when daddy isn't here. i am not completly alone when daddy is gone am close to my family and they are always willing to help. but that is my proplem, i don't know how to allow people to help with my baby, because i don't want to become dependent. i feel that if they help too much i will become accustom to the help and wont know how to act when i dont' have the help and therefoe making me helpless. so my rememdy has been to do everything myself and therefore i am always with my baby and except for 30 mins here or 10 mins there. I am nursing my baby and find pumping incovient and worrisome. so therefore reinforced that i should be changing almost every diaper, perparing almost every meal, almost every bath... i mean this is my baby i choose to have him and its my responsibility RIGHT??? ↓
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| Name: bebe9281 | Date: May 17th, 2007 8:33 PM |
| All I can say is it gets better... Don't sweat the small stuff and know when to ask for help. When someone offers to help TAKE IT!!! You're not superwoman... ↑ |
| Name: momof3 | Date: May 17th, 2007 8:34 PM |
| Well yes, but it is okay to get help. I have 3 kids, almost 7, 3 and 1, and I am married. But I still have days were I need a break and if my husband is working (he has crazy hours) I will call my mom or brother and say, "Are you busy, I need a break" If they are able to help they come running. If you need help there is no shame in asking for it. Having a 6 month old is alot of work. Remember you have to take care of yourself too. ↑ |
| Name: mamak | Date: May 17th, 2007 8:40 PM |
THANKS SO MUCH LADY (bebe and momof)
your right i'm not superwoman and i need to care of myself, just need to make Time!!! ↑ |
| Name: momof3 | Date: May 17th, 2007 8:42 PM |
| And like Bebe said, it will get easier. And the older he gets the easier it will be. Right now at that age he is dependant on you for everything. Just think in about 2 years, you might be able to take a shower!! lol ↑ |
| Name: bebe9281 | Date: May 17th, 2007 8:43 PM |
| Keep him on a schedule and a routine... It helps tremendously... At least you can sort of organize your day a bit. ↑ |
| Name: bebe9281 | Date: May 17th, 2007 8:58 PM |
| I nursed both of my kids til they were 14 months old. I never pumped... I never had a reason to give either of them a bottle.. I could never pump more than 1 oz at a time and it was frustrating... and a mess and painful.. Forget about it.. ↑ |
| Name: mamak | Date: May 17th, 2007 9:07 PM |
| honestly i have alwyas been worried about being percieved as that mother who is quick to put her kids of on others. i really feel like i don't need anyone to do anything for my son unless they want to help, i dont' anyone to feel obligated . so i dont ask people to help i wait for them to ask. but what if i said "No"so many times when they offered, that they have lost interest in offering anymore. ↑ |
| Name: Ludicrus | Date: May 17th, 2007 9:18 PM |
| How bad is your anxiety? ↑ |
| Name: Ludicrus | Date: May 17th, 2007 9:19 PM |
| I am the type that will never ask for help too. ↑ |
| Name: mamak | Date: May 17th, 2007 9:24 PM |
| i think that it is bad enough that i am starting to feel smoothered by my family like i want to get away but i worry about how i would feel to be away and choose stay cause at least i am here and not away just wanting to be home. ↑ |
| Name: bebe9281 | Date: May 17th, 2007 9:47 PM |
| I am going away with my hubby for the weekend.. First time away from my kids overnight.. I can't wait!! ↑ |
| Name: lynnie | Date: May 17th, 2007 10:00 PM |
| How about putting your baby in a nursey for about a hour twice a week,just to give you some time to yourself? ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: May 17th, 2007 10:03 PM |
there is NOTHING wrong with having a break!!! Having you time is so important......If there are people around to help...then by all means take the you time!
People who pass their kids off all the time.....do not worry about it as you are right now.....so I do not think you will be precieved that way. ↑ |
| Name: bebe9281 | Date: May 17th, 2007 10:04 PM |
| Name: momo | Date: May 18th, 2007 6:31 AM |
Sounds lie this is your first baby...Just know you can and will make mistakes..its all right...You can get irritated with being a mother and at times just feel like wanting to give up...And its okay to feel that way...If you feel this way everyday and all the time, you should talk to the doctor, but if you are just overdoing it..try accepting help...Trust me you will appreciate it in the long run..and so will baby..
By baby number two...you will learn that you don't have to change hm at the slightest drop...you don't have to pick him up at the slightest noise..that you ca carry him with one are your pusre a diaper bag and go to the bathroom all at the same time while having to unzip your pants...Motherhood is not easy...but it will become so much better if you just learn to let go a little ↑ |
| Name: bex27 | Date: May 18th, 2007 7:21 AM |
| mamak - it is ok to accept a little help. From first impressions I can see you are not the type who would become dependent on others help. If nothing else it will do you good to get some "me" time. Your family sounds like they would love to spend more time with you and your child - so why not take them up on it for your baby. It is horrible to feel so overwhelmed with everything going on and not knowing what you want. When you think about it - most things really are not going to matter if they dont get done on time - dishes laundry etc. Try to chill a little and choice your battles - dont forget you had a life before baby too! ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: May 18th, 2007 7:30 PM |
| wow that was so well stated Momo! ↑ |
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