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Name: limegrnchic
[ Original Post ]
I'm going to be 19 in a few months, i've been dating the same guy for several years now and we know we were meant to be together. I was raised in a family where family was the most important, and i know that the biggest thing i want in life is to be a mom. Recently many people i know have had children and i've been watching a couple as well. Everytime someone talks about their kids it just makes me want them so much more. So my question is, is it horrible of me to want kids at my age? i am in college and living at home and i realize that several things have to be done before having kids but i just feel so ready. I've had a talk about having kids with my doctor and he's let me consider some things and made it sound like it was perfectly fine for me to want to have kids in the next few years. If you could help me that would be great! Thank you
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Name: HeatherSipes | Date: Nov 15th, 2009 3:23 PM
First - it is not HORRIBLE that you want to have kids at your age - you've likey wanted them since you were little - playing with baby dolls, day dreaming about your fairytale wedding day - thats a normal, natrual thing for you to desire.

I became pregnant at 20, though it was not exactly a planned situation. 12+ years later the things I wanted when I was 20 are not nearly as important to me now - including the "one I thought I was meant to be with". My concern for you would be that you have not really DATED - you don't know what you want - if at 19 you've dated the same guy for several years, you couldn't possibly know - you might think you do, but trust me when I say tht you'll look back in the future and say - what was I THINKING??? I struggled for years as a single mom and then met the man who is now my husband and I couldn't be happier...

That does not mean you won't be happy - or that I think you should end your relationship - my cousin became pregnant at 16, got mrried at 17 and has a picture perfect marriage with 3 kids and they have been married for 20 years - but their story is really an exception and their life hasn't been easy.

You asked for some advice - mine to you would be to hang tight a while - figure out who you are and what you really want before you start a family - once you begin that process it is easy to lose time to be able to figure that out. Hope this helps - Heather 

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