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| Name: Maxie | Date: May 1st, 2006 2:22 AM |
| You know I think that may be ture...but in some cases I think that is just a shallow attempt to make themselves feel better. I mean being at home is not for everyone...but the thing is in many ways society thoughts have not changed .... that much. In otherwords...some women who feel that being at home is not for them (and we know thats ok) may feel the need to justify it to others by having that attitude. Moreover...I think its the moms that dont "have" to work that do that. Mothers that "have to "in order to make ends, meet often say they wish they could be at home. So if one did not need to work though choose to...I believe for whatever their reasons (knowing the old ways of thinking are still around) do it in the attempt to ...justify. Make themselves feel better of their choices. Thing is they really dont have to. Its their life and that of their family. They need not do it at all. I dont worry about other people and their life choices. Neither should they be to concerned about mine. We all do what we have to. And in some cases they need to work only due to the fact they are not the type of woman who would appreciate being at home. They need to be able to accept the fact internally and in general to others ... its ok!!!!!! Dont let others get you down. By attempting to belittle you and your life choices just because they differ from their own. If you run into a person like that and they are doing their best to make you feel your the "tv and bon bon" mom...address it. "Our choices may differ and the grass is not greener for either of us...but I just choose not to 'work out of the house' becuse it wouldnt be the best thing for either my family or myself." "I do work but I dont put on panyhose and drive away to do it, thats all." Thats my feeling an actually my experience...not everyones...just one point of view thats all. Take care Maxie ↑ |
| Name: Stacy | Date: May 2nd, 2006 4:49 PM |
| Prior to having a baby I thought that I could never be a stay at home mom, boy was I wrong. Just the thought of someone else raising my baby, while I work makes me shudder. Just think of all those special moments you would miss if you were at work. When someone gives me attitude about being a stay at home mom I just tell them I don't believe someone else should raise my baby. That usually puts the attitude to an end, and if it doesn't I just smile. Because, in the end life is to short to worry about what others think. If my family & I are happy that's all that matters. Stay positive, it rubs of onto others. ↑ |
| Name: charla | Date: May 5th, 2006 6:05 PM |
| i think that those people are a little jealious becouse if they do have kids they cant be home with them i used to work as a special education aide then after my last child who will be 3 in july i decide to work for a day care so he could have some socializeation skills anyway alot of the moms had there kids there from open until close it was awful i never want to do that i left becouse i think if you have the oppertunity to stay at home with your child you should they grow up so fast!!! ↑ |
| Name: mommy | Date: May 14th, 2006 12:29 AM |
| I think those people are reacting to a perception that stay-at-home moms are looking down on the employed-moms' choice. With comments like these: "just a shallow attempt to make themselves feel better" -- they might think, why do you believe I should feel bad? "in the attempt to ...justify" -- they might think, speak for yourself, I have nothing to justify! "it wouldnt be the best thing for either my family or myself" -- which might be taken as implying you believe the working momis doing something that is not the best thing for HER family. "Just the thought of someone else raising my baby, while I work makes me shudder. Just think of all those special moments you would miss if you were at work. . . . I don't believe someone else should raise my baby. " Well. Those words are really saying that moms who word are . . . irresponsible. Then they point out dissapointment. Then go back to moralizing. Wow, not really a way to make friends with these women. "i think that those people are a little jealious " words that might -- possibly -- be understood to mean the speaker thinks they have something better than the working mom. And that you might be calling working moms a jealous lot in general, which is not really an . . . attractive . . .thing to be called. "alot of the moms had there kids there from open until close it was awful i never want to do that i left becouse i think if you have the oppertunity to stay at home with your child you should" --back to something that sounds like moralizing and judging again. Be aware, be careful. Words like those can hurt people. When people are hurt, they react, they defend themselves. Even if you didn't really mean it "that way." We women need to support each other in all our choices. We hve enough battles to face, we don't need to battle each other. ↑ |
| Name: to mommy | Date: May 14th, 2006 12:55 AM |
| R u a working Mom? ↑ |
| Name: mommy | Date: May 14th, 2006 1:02 AM |
| aren't we all? ↑ |
| Name: To mommy | Date: May 14th, 2006 1:33 AM |
| First of all, the subject was with regard to 'working mothers attitudes' towards moms who work at home. Second, if its attitude you are getting ...you know it. If you are given enough attitude regarding anything at some point you have a right to let them know where you stand. And yes, I do believe that there are plenty of women who have choosen to work, do attempt to make you feel because you are working at home, this somehow suggests that you are too' lazy to work.' Period. Its a choice. One we are all intitleled to either way. But the mother of this subject is talking about working mothers vs. work at home mothers and some of their attitudes. Not the other way around. Third ....it was stated they do not have to explain neither do I as to why one or the other choice was made. For those "attitude" (working away form home mothers the topic suggested)...it then does becomes an attempt to justify their choice. Why? Otherwise why the attitude ... regular like? Maybe just their natural bitchie way. Regardless ... yup... enough of it and I can be diplomatic...but get my point across. I speak for myself regarding your turned around ... upside down, sideways view of the topic. And just one more thing. After enough regular rotten attitude... they are really no one, that I would ever want to associate myself with. I have then lost nothing. I still have my selfrespect...as I didnt start the attitude crap. I respond after enough time of the crap with a polite but to the point comment...eg: "Our choices may differ but the grass is not greener..........." And I have disassociated myself from more of the same crap from the same bitch. Lost nothing. Maintained everthing. And invite more of the same to my kitchen table...whine later... I did not. I am happy. In future try and get it the right way around regarding the topic. And read more carefully. I was very fair in my comments. What may or may not be correct for one or the other... is no reason to look down on anyone. Crappie attitudes no one needs. And again neither work away form home mothers or work at home mothers need justify anything to anyone. Its just old school sometimes with who knows...anyone,... that has folks thinking they may be doing what others think they should not. And if they feel intimidated by that thinking (said or not) attempts to justify are natural. And some are...well...we have all met them at one time or another...just thinking whatever they do is better. In kidergarden ya get away with that a bit...for awhile ... then we grow up. And at 44, I have little patience left for bitchie, better than you, sad sorry lot of individuals. I listen... I smile .... I wait...then when enough is enough I just formulate a way to shut them up, stop the stupid comments. Walk away, and stay away. I have yet to have any trouble with that mentality. Battels aways start, with someone, somewhere thinking they or their race or income level, or something, is better than the next guy. Come on with the attitude...and to some it affects...and to some it hurts and to some...well they just took on the wrong individual. After a bit everyone knows their crappie...bitchie...better than you ways...and no one wants them around. Looks then like I made the right choice form the start. At least just for me. And thats all that counts. ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: May 14th, 2006 2:41 AM |
| I stay at home and I feel less important whenever I'm at family get-togethers when everyone starts talking about their jobs.I feel I have nothing to contribute to that conversation. ↑ |
| Name: Maxie | Date: May 14th, 2006 3:02 AM |
| Hay Lisa....I hear ya. Ya know me either. But the great thing about conversation is the topic can be changed!!!! Maybe ask them before they get carried away...about the kids (if any have any) or is anyone a teacher? Ask them about the kids in their class...relate with your comments about your kids in both cases. Do any of them garden...and do you. Is anyone or yourself taking a course of somekind. Cooking...baking...oh there is always a topic good for anyone...housework!!!! Everyone can relate. Point is Lisa you likely have tons to talk about...just have a little trouble getting the conversation swung your direction. Or then again...maybe not! Maybe you havent any trouble with that and your family members are like mine...yuck! In which case ... have a beer! LOLOL. Lisa...you maybe dont have anything to contribute to the "work away from home folks" conversation...but you do have something to contribute. ↑ |
| Name: To Maxie from Lisa | Date: May 14th, 2006 6:31 AM |
| Thanks for your comment I'll take it into consideration! ↑ |
| Name: Maxie | Date: May 14th, 2006 4:40 PM |
| Lisa...just something else...remember this..being a mother is the most difficult job in the world. Its a fact. Anything else you can leave at some point. You can even take a vacation away form it...but mothers never leave the job site and the vacation involves more work and the workload is taken along. Dont allow anyone to intimidate you into thinking what you do is not important. The life of someone else and the guideance required to shape, mold, and let go Are the most important things life has to offer in terms of responsibility. And yes...the most difficult. What you do IS, THE VERY most important. Take care Maxie ↑ |
| Name: mommy | Date: May 14th, 2006 5:01 PM |
| 05/13/2006 21:33:08, you make my point for me. Perhaps you are the one who might need a bit of attitude adjustment? Fact is, we all need to get along and support each other. After all, it is nothing more than just plain luck that you are not one of "them." What would happen if your source of income were to drop dead unexpectedly next week? Or leave you? It has happened to more than one person. Lisa, Maxie, you are right on. Of course you have something to contribute. If the conversation excludes someone, the others in the group are just being rude. ↑ |
| Name: charla | Date: May 14th, 2006 6:36 PM |
| iwas a little hurt i went on the working mos site just to see there site and some of them were making fun of our posts such as what we had for breakfast and so on saying we had nothing better to do ill have them know i do plenty i only am on this site while my 3 year old sleeps or is playing in his room using his imagination wich i encuorage. needless to say i wont be going back to that site!!!!i dont know why i did you guys are great people ill just stay here and talk about what i had for breakfast. ↑ |
| Name: Maxie | Date: May 14th, 2006 10:12 PM |
| mommy...ya lost me here???? 21:33:08 is me! I was responding to the strange understanding of the post between my first and second post. Sorry I addressed it "To Mommy" but did not sign it. Me attitude is just as stated all the way through the post. And I gotta tell you ...nope never had a problem. I stay away for problem types and bitchie type. And I honesty dont see any of those folks...good, bad, or inbetween taking up any of my income issues should they arries. IF YOU were addressing my post. Since I was 13 I have been working...out of the home up until six years ago. I have never had anyone help me with my income nor have I ever expected it. It is I who have helped many....more than you can imagine. I look for nothing in return and often do it unseen. Thats the best way. So it was to mommy I addressed and to mommy I posted the second respones. If I have completly misunderstood your post, I apologise in advance. ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: May 14th, 2006 10:14 PM |
| I get that feeling as well,but what you have to remember is that these people came into the world the same way and they will go out of the world the same way. TheY are not a better person than you just because they have a job and you stay at home. I am a true believer that children do not ask to be brought into this world and when they are here you should look after them! You do not have kids to leave them at home with a child minder! ↑ |
| Name: Maxie | Date: May 15th, 2006 2:52 AM |
| Oh hay ladies....I'll bet I missed the darn show...but that might be ok due to the fact the subject matter is so frightening I dont know if I could watch it. If not already aired...there is a program special, about Nannies. Oh my golly, the commercial scared me. I have seen one or two of these shows once previous and I couldnt watch it through to the end. What some of these so called "nannies" do to children is enough to make you want to crawl through the tv and choke them. Sounds harsh....I have actually cried watching and finally had to turn the channel. Chokeing them would be to easy for them...oh the things I wish would happen to them!!!!! I assure you if I ever saw anyone do to a child...mine or not...I truly MUST TRUST my self controll would kick in. If I guess, to someone elses child it happened and I actually saw it, I know I would report it and follow through to the bitter end. To my children.....stand back...stand away.................you bitch!!! The only thing that would keep me from clobbering them would be the fact that if I did I would pay the damm price and my beautiful children would suffer for it. Oh....I would need an army of angels around me to stop me....and I guess the wisdom to know the Lord would get them good sooner or later. He has never let me down. The response time is in His own good time and I trust it. I have had Him prove it to me over and over. So actually...in the end I know I would handel it better than I sometimes think. I guess the fact that I could choke the **** out of them is really only a fantasy. But oh man.............! So if you get a chance to see it and think you can stomach it.....you should watch...at least what you can. I hadent had my children when I saw the other shows....the mear thought of it came back to me when I was pregnant with my first. For only eight months after Olivia was born I worked ( I was a single mom then) my husband didnt want me to work because he was concerned too. I was only too happy to give up the paycheque and benefits....to benefit my child. I am so glad I did and the good Lord provided the way to do it. We do without alot of extras but I tell you true, I sleep well at night knowing my children are as safe as any loving mother could mannage. At least this loving mother. Again, I understand being at home is not for everyone...and we all do the best we can. Some work to make the ends meet it is neccessary. Some do as my sister...work out of the house. She couldnt stand to be at home and has admitted to it and that is ok too. Its just not for her...as it is not for many. For those of us who stay at home....well...WE ARE doing our part, just no paycheque and as it is a choice, just as the others...why not?! ↑ |
| Name: Maxie | Date: May 15th, 2006 4:50 AM |
| Oh girls....dont know where you live or what time it is there...but that nannie show is on tonight! WTN- Womens television network... its called "Nightmare Nannies" its on in BC at 10:00pm. Maybe some of you have already seen it....but for those of you who have not...if you can try and watch at least some of it,...if the stomach can take it. This would ...should you have doubts about being at home....or if people are attempting to belittle your choice to be at home...remind you why you do what you do. Why you gave up that paycheque...why you go without the extras.....why you put up with all that you do....why you need thank the good Lord that you are there...why you dont need the put down from someone who is not of your same opinion and choice. Why you dont deserve that. FOR ME...I would gladly give my life or even the insignifigance of a stupid paycheque for the only thing in the world that matters to me...my children...my family. I do thank God, every day, for the blessing of my choice and the ABILITY GRANTED... to do so. For moms to have to work to make ends meet and for moms who wrok becaue truly it is best for them and their family home life....You, your children/family are not out of everyones prayers. I do pray for all the moms and dads who do all they can ... making the best choices they can...for their families and home life. I pray that their children are safe. This is a fact and God knows it. I dont mess when it comes to Him. Take care ladies. I dont know if I will be able to watch...I get so worked up and so distraught that I loose sleep. I'll check in tommorow. Nightie..night! ↑ |
| Name: Maxie | Date: May 15th, 2006 2:04 PM |
| Alright....I sure dont know what I did hear in the commercial ...but the point of the show was not so much what they do to children...but what can happen when a nannie is invited to live in the house. Still I gotta tell you it to me was sickening. Just for those reasons alone....I wouldnt want anyone in my home like that. From the rich and famous to the average Joe family...there was no escapeing the possibility of employing a nannie who could turn your world upside down. So at least I slept well last night....images of the other kind of nightmare nannie show I'm certain I would have been awake for hours. Take care ladies. ↑ |
