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Name: Faith
[ Original Post ]
Okay gal's
Do I have the right to tell my in-laws that I don't want to go to a family reunion with a 1 month old?
I'm due a few weeks before the reunion and they are a little insistant that I go so I can show off my little less than one month old,. It's going to be out side, if it was inside I may feel a little diffrently but with all those odd relitives and germs I'm not so sure. My husband is going to be gone for the national gurad that weekend and I just figured I'd stay at home, but they want out litlle one there. I feel bad but I'm really not in the mood. Any advice? support?
Thanks
Faith
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Name: ALee | Date: Jul 6th, 2006 1:31 PM
Yes you have the right to say, "No." I dealth with this issue when it came to my husband's family. It may have been a little easier for me to say, "No," because I don't like them anyway...haha. Seriously, at that young of an age it is recommended that your infant come in contact with as few of people as possible. They may get their feelings hurt, but you should not put your child at risk to save a few hurt feelings. I kept hearing that I was being greedy with my daughters and that I should show them off. Children are not an object which are meant to be put on display. I know that sounds a little harsh, but that's what I told them. (once again, I do not like his family) You are really going to need to rest and take care of yourself so that you can take care of your baby. I would suggest that you not go to the reunion if you don't feel like it and perhaps schedule a time when people can visit and see the baby when you feel up to it.

I have no regrets for what I did around the birth of my last child. I had to keep my sanity. I had to tell them that I would not bring the baby around a crowd of people when she was that young. If your in-laws live far away and can't travel, maybe you should go see them when you are reasy to travel, but if you don't want many people around make it clear to them before you go. That's what I did with his dad and step-mom (oh I like his dad's family..lol).

Here are some other things that I did which don't relate to the pressure of taking the child out but they may come in handy.

During the last month, I was getting called several times a day asking if I had had the baby yet (umm would I have been at home answering the phone if i had? haha ) and did I know what it was going to be. Soooo, I turned off the ringers and changed my voice mail to say, "You have reached J, A, and A. That's right there is still only three of us and no, I do not know the sex of the baby. After it is born, we will notify anyone who needs to know."

When we brought her home, the voice mail changed to,"ERP was born on 7/10 at 9:55 pm. She weighed 8 lbs and was 22 1/2 inches long. Everyone is doing fine, but we are not accepting visitors at this time." When I felt like talking I would turn on the phones, but honestly that wasn't that often. We did e-mail pictures and mail announcements and the people closest to us had our cell numbers, but everyone else just had to wait.

Some people thought it was a great idea and some thought it was awful, but when you are tired you need to do what is best for you and the baby. My husbad brought his grandmother to see the baby. His mother refused to come because I would not allow her in the delivery room (her loss not mine) We took her to see his father and my father when she was a month old. His father can't travel and my parents live close to his dad. My mum was in the delivery room (I had to have have my mum there..lol). Until I felt up to having visitors and going out with the baby, those are the only people who saw her, and I have no regrets.

You really just need to do what you want. If you want to stay home, then you should and everyone should understand. If a few feelings get hurt, you can't worry about it. They will get over it. This is a time for you and the baby, and don't feel bad about it. With my first child, more people were allowed to see her than the second. But, the whole time I was very anxious when someone would want to hold her or even touch her. I was thinking, "Did they wash their hands? Do they have any illnesses? Are they going to drop her?" Too much stress!! After going through that, when E got here, I had no problem just saying, "No."

I hope that helps...or at leasst makes you laugh a little. Have a great day and Good Luck 

Name: To Faith | Date: Jul 8th, 2006 10:41 PM
Do what YOU want NOT what everyone else wants! It's your baby,do what feels right to you! 

Name: James | Date: Jul 9th, 2006 8:55 AM
Of course you do, it's your kid. Explain that you're uncomfortable traveling with a finicky infant, and you're not yet at the level of trust in their safety to be passing them around to strangers.

"It's a baby, not a showpiece." 

Name: Vickie | Date: Jul 14th, 2006 8:07 PM
yuor baby your choice. A newborn should not be subjective to being outdoors around a bunch of people peering at him/her she may get sick tell the inlaws you are not up to the job if you feel you need an excuse 

Name: Haru | Date: Jul 19th, 2006 7:42 PM
Just tell them you're not going. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone! 

Name: harriet | Date: Oct 23rd, 2006 6:05 AM
yes you do are you a adult or are you a child 


Name: Janet | Date: Oct 23rd, 2006 1:12 PM
what are they going to do spank you of coarce you have the right 

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