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Name: jobmom22
[ Original Post ]
I am just back at my job after nine months of maternity leave! I know its early days yet, but I miss my daughter so much! I hate to think of her stuck with a nanny all day long, without her mom to keep her safe and happy. I know that its good for me to try to break away a little bit - I do miss the interaction with adults that work offers. But I am having such a hard time. I can't wait for the day to end so that i can run home! Any suggestions on how to make the going less tough?
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Name: tismum | Date: Jun 21st, 2005 3:37 AM
have you thought of using IT to your advantage and having a web cam or give the nanny a digital camera so she can send photos to your email through out the day. Also give yourself sometime to adjust is it possible for you to work part time to start off with?? 

Name: Lindsay | Date: Jul 6th, 2005 4:49 PM
I think the biggest thing is being comfortable with your nanny and knowing your child is happy with her. My daughter is in a day care, but has a primary teacher, who she absolutely adores! Although I miss her, I know she is happy and cared for when I am not there. If you do not feel secure about your nanny you may want to think about different arrangements, such as part time or another daycare provider. My daughter is in a daycare around the corner from my office and I visit with her every afternoon and I am less than 1 minute away if she needs me. It's wonderful and helps me to know she is so close. 

Name: diana | Date: Jul 11th, 2005 3:06 AM
Leaving your baby is an awful feeling of sadness and desperation at the same time. Some mothers adjust better than others while for myself I felt totally overwhelmed with the idea of only seing my daughter part time while the sitter saw her full time. I dont think nature intended it to be this way. However, remember that our overwhelming sad feelings are just that "our feelings". The baby does not know that you feel that way and they go about their precious day being happy and enjoying others.
Miss my baby is an understatement.
God bless you and your daughter.

Diana 

Name: Rena | Date: Jul 12th, 2005 6:30 PM
Could you consider working part-time? 

Name: vicki | Date: Aug 2nd, 2005 4:02 PM
I just started back to work after only 2 months of being with my little guy. I think about him so much and it's hard to concentrate on anything... I feel like I don't get enough time with him now. 

Name: miss my baby | Date: Aug 29th, 2005 4:17 PM
i've been back to work for one month after being home with my baby girl for 3 months. i never wanted to return to work but we can't afford for me to be at home. we are selling a car and have paid off the other so that i can work part time but i swear at times it seems to be getting harder rather than easier. i only work 3 days and she has been coming with me one day but that will end soon. i don't know what else to possibly cut out so that i could be at home full time. hopefully some day i will be. until then at least i know she is being taken well care of in my absence. i miss her sooo much!1 


Name: anonymous | Date: Sep 1st, 2005 1:07 AM
yes everyone loves there baby, and there work. Maybe it is a good idea to work part time. Or you can set aside some time is the day that you spend with you baby after work. Every day. Remember there is always week ends. 

Name: Carolina | Date: Sep 7th, 2005 3:55 AM
In these days IT can do wonders for working moms. I have a flexible work arrangement to work from home and that has helped me a lot to be close to my little son. I hired a mother's helper and from time to time I can take short breaks to feed him, play with him and some times even to take him to a class at my lunch time. The key thing is discipline and have the appropiate space at home to set up your virtual office. 

Name: Nikki | Date: Sep 9th, 2005 6:35 AM
hi, i dont have a baby yet, but it's in the full plan and work !!! i dont think i will be able to go back to work which i dont see any sense in anyway, so what i want to do is to babysit other kids. that way you get to be home and still get paid to make end meets. why pay someone to take care of the baby if you can get paid to take care of someone elses. hope this helps 

Name: jumana | Date: Sep 11th, 2005 3:48 PM
i think you need to take more leave so that can be with her take leave without pay till she is one year dont live her with the nanny coz she needs you more 

Name: Chris | Date: Sep 12th, 2005 4:04 AM
Just hang in there, I know this sounds bad but you'll get used to being gone. Once you start getting busy with work again you won't be thinking about your baby every second. It's wierd but once you get used to your routine everything feels normal. 

Name: melissa | Date: Sep 13th, 2005 2:23 PM
I am 34 weeks, so the end is fastly approaching. I am fortunate I will be able to leave my baby with my sister, my best friend, or my mother-n-law. I plan on taking a full month off then just working afternoons or mornings, unsure which, until about the 1st of the yr. However I live in a small town and my job is very flexiable. I can also bring the baby to work with me if and when needed. 

Name: egj | Date: Oct 6th, 2005 4:52 PM
You can do it!! I work full-time and have a 5 and 2 year-old. My kids have been in daycare since they were 3 months old. My daughter absolutely loved her daycare classes and is doing awesome in Kindergarten. I can hardly pull my son away in the afternoons because they're always doing something fun. You have to be comfortable with who is watching the children. I felt most comfortable with daycare because there is accountability (multiple teachers), they rarely watch TV and I never worried about the caregivers being out (vacation etc) because I knew there would always be somebody great to take over the class. I always worry about choking and other emergencies, with multiple adults around to help made me feel better.
You will always worry as a mother but always do what you think is best for your child and she'll love you for it. Also, forget about doing any chores beyond getting dinner on the table - just play, play, play in the evenings!!! I even do grocery shopping after their bedtime just to spend a bit more play with them.

Good luck! 

Name: egj | Date: Oct 7th, 2005 4:05 PM
Always remember you are raising your daughter and that you are the most important person in her life. Don't let anybody else tell you otherwise. Working moms really need to believe this and live it. 

Name: EAD06 | Date: Oct 17th, 2005 11:24 PM
I would really like to thank egj for her kind and compassionate response! I am 20 weeks and I am having a hard time with getting my husband to understand that I don't want to work 12 hours a day anymore after the baby. I have never had a problem with working and I intend on returning to a job, I just will have to take a big pay cut for the area that we live in. I realize it's very hard these days and times to try to live off of one income especially when he pays child support to his other 2 children. I just want help with telling myself this is the right thing to do. I understand how this young lady feels leaving her child. Can you imagine how I feel thinking about living my baby from 12 noon til 12 midnight 4 days a week. Someone please give me some encouraging words of advice to help me get more prepared. 

Name: daycaremom | Date: Oct 23rd, 2005 9:40 PM
I work at the child care center that my 5 month old goes to and it's still hard for me to go in the morning. every second I get i go see him. This is my second child and I really hate going to work every day even though he's right there. Im looking for something legit to do from home. If I can't get up to the baby room to see him I call on the phone and talk to him, and I also give little notes to his teacher on my "sad day's" to give him extra love and cuddles. It helps me feel better about leaving thinking he might get a few extra loves during the day 

Name: christine | Date: Oct 27th, 2005 7:10 PM
Hi daycaremom... i do childcare in my home (majorly burned out!!), and also sell Pampered Chef. I am working towards replacing my income by building my business and just got my first real commission check this week! Look into some work from home business ideas... i love what i do. This gives me a break from my kids and lets my husband do "daddy duty" AND gives me a paycheck. My website is www.pamperedchef.biz/christinekenney if you want to check out Pampered Chef... but there are other good ones too. My favorite part is that I haven't had to quit one job until I can get the second one established. Good luck. 

Name: Angie | Date: Nov 18th, 2005 12:13 AM
I think you should go with what you seem to know deep down about yourself and your baby--you are supposed to be at home with her. There's plenty of interaction to be had with other adults besides in a work environment. By your post, it doesn't sound like money is too much of an issue in this, and if it's not, why not be the one to raise her? I truly believe both you and your daughter will benefit by your being her primary caregiver--at least until she goes to preschool or Kindergarten. I know a lot of moms can't do this, but if you can, you should go for it. My children are now 5, 7 & 11 & with me most days because we homeschool. I wouldn't have it any other way. They have plenty of friends (neighborhood, mega homeschool activities, etc.), yet we get to do our work while curled up in our pajamas, drinking hot chocolate on a cold morning while most of their peers have been in school for 2 hours! With all this, my point is that our children grow up so fast--the time just flies. We should give ourselves to them while we have them as much as we are able to. Why else would we have them? 

Name: egj | Date: Nov 18th, 2005 3:07 PM
I'll say it again - Working moms do raise their children!!! Children learn a lot by being around other people but they will know who the most important people are in their lives - their parents. It would be great if everybody could stay in their pajamas but lots of people (moms and dads) want or need to contribute to their family and society by working outside of the home. I'd hate to think what the world would be if all women stayed home. We have the great minds to do awesome things in this world!! I'm raising my children to think the same way. 

Name: julie | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 3:37 PM
I know exacly how you feel. I went back to work 3 weeks after my daughter was born. She stayed with a family friend and she is now two. I still get emotional at work thinking of her and feeling like I am missing things. Even though I know she is safe as a mother you feel you know your child the besta nd that is why we are eager to be with them and care & nurture them. I have an extremely stressful job so thoughts of her fill my head almost hourly. I have had to learn to cope. I often will call to check on her & speak to her. I bring home little surprises for her. I spend my time at home and make the most of it. I try to talk to other mothers I know who have similar experiences. Almost like a support network. I alsow ill go home on lunches or breaks just to say hi! Our kids know we love them I think it is very normal to miss them and spend quality time when you are with them! 

Name: j | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 6:29 PM
After being home for 4 months with my son I then worked as a nanny for one year and brought him with me. It worked out so well. Later, I went to school part time and eventually into a professional career. 

Name: emj | Date: Dec 11th, 2005 3:44 PM
ever thought about going part time.
you dont want your baby to grow not nowing you. 

Name: jeff | Date: Dec 30th, 2005 7:25 PM
i just got hit by a car walking down the street. I ain't like i used to be. When i woke up, my x was there and left me my daughter to take care of. without warnng, she showed up and took her back, told me i could not see her anymore and told me there was no reason for it. I just can't do this anymore. She broke into houses and sold meth and got caught for it. she's going to jail for it and i can't see my daughter. i miss her. Bryanna Jazzmyn Roderick. I love her always. I don't know what to do. Kinda wish i never woke up. 

Name: susan | Date: Jan 7th, 2006 5:41 AM
Guiltly as is. I understand. Remember your daughter will
realize in time what you've done for her & yourself. You need
to provide, need your independence. You're a role model to your child. give yourself time, keep a photo of her. not a whole wall full. On breaks remember that you are doing this for your family, home, future. Do a hobby at lunch for child, write a poem, draw a picture, write your thoughts in a notebook for future reference for her.
You are blessed as is she. good day. 

Name: amanda | Date: Jan 21st, 2006 7:36 PM
You can't be serois. My kid has been with a nany since day one and that nanny just happens to be my best freind and a much better mom than i am. i don't even consider myself a mom becuse i do non of the actually work. i'ma model and i was workig when i was pregnant and from the day she was borna nd on 

Name: to amanda | Date: Jan 27th, 2006 4:16 AM
weve heard it a hundres times before!!!!!! 

Name: anon | Date: Feb 5th, 2006 9:32 PM
Quit -- go home. That way you have memories and no regrets. You can work later.
You will never get back those missed milestones and she'll be off to pre-school at 3 and 4 and gone in 18....it will fly by. 

Name: Agnes | Date: Feb 5th, 2006 9:41 PM
Is there any way that you could arrange to have shorter days or an extra day off each week? Sometimes it's easier to ease back in to work, rather than going right from being home all the time to being at work all day. 

Name: GENIAL | Date: Jun 17th, 2007 4:01 PM
i miss my little baby girl 

Name: Cat Stoneq | Date: Jul 29th, 2007 12:00 PM
It is perfecty natural to miss you baby when away from them, I would have serious doubts about any mother who didn't long to stay home hold that child! My husband is in the military and so we move quit a bit, but I sell Pampered Chef and only work part-time so I am able to stay home with my kids! Any home based business would be great if staying home and still getting a paycheck is your goal! go to my website to learn more, and join my team! www.pamperedchef.biz/catstone 

Name: Kerry | Date: Jul 31st, 2007 2:19 AM
Hi everyone. When I first had my daughter, I cried for days when I went back to work. I missed her so much. I think that this is a stage that every mother goes through. Wait till there older and they start telling you off, you won't miss them so much! LOL 

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