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Name: kdaerose
[ Original Post ]
I keep having this image in my head of me dropping my baby off at grandmas and when I come back to get him after work he doesn't want to leave. I had my baby premature and he's going to be in the hospital for over 4 months, I don't know how it is to have a baby at home all the time so I might feel different when he gets out and I've experienced what its like to take care of a baby constantly. I want to continue to work yet at the same time I can't see myself dropping him off with someone other than me or my fiance. I guess what I don't want is to feel like someone else is raising my son. Do you think I'll change my mind once he's home and I see how it really is? Some people tell me that once he's home I'm going to want a break every chance I can get.
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Name: Lizzi | Date: Aug 12th, 2006 11:53 PM
Maybe you can stay home a little while and then gradually start working on a part-time basis and then slowly increase to full-time if working is what you want to do. As long as you are leaving your baby with someone you feel comfortable with then you should have no worries. You could start off by leaving the baby with a sitter for just a couple hours while you shop or something just to get used to the idea of someone else watching over him. This way it won't be so rough when you are ready to return to work. 

Name: jamberrt | Date: Aug 31st, 2006 12:47 AM
I thought I wanted to be home full time and I find it overwhelming. At the same time I hate working for others so I am slowly phasing out my secular job with a stay at home job. My daughter is in grade 7 and my little one will stay in his playschool for awhile yet. He still loves to come to me when I arrive. So far so good. I'm blessed. Keep us informed... 

Name: f17rc010 | Date: Sep 4th, 2006 11:59 PM
The reality is, anymore most of us women have to work. No matter who you have watching your baby, he will want go home with Mommy. If baby's grandma is able to watch him then you should consider yourself very lucky to have a family member keeping your son. You also should not feel guilty about wanting a break ever now and then either, you will need one. But don't worry, your baby will be just as excited to see you after work as you are to see him. Good luck with him and I hope he gets to come home real soon. 

Name: Sunshine | Date: Sep 5th, 2006 4:03 PM
I've said it before but here it goes ---

Working mothers do raise their babies/children!!!! There is no doubt in my mind that my husband and I have been and continue to be the most important and most influential people in my children's lives (ages 6 and 3). 

Name: lindalu | Date: Sep 6th, 2006 12:18 AM
Hi I dont know if you are checking back on this post, if you are congradulations on the baby! I hope all is well with him. I do think you will feel diffrent as he gets a bit older, you'll see how much he can enjoy beeing with others besides your self. There is also a social benafit that he can gain by beeing with others. Best of luck! 

Name: jamberrt | Date: Sep 7th, 2006 2:00 AM
Another thing I've learned lately is that every behaviour is a phase so when it gets tough, it'll change soon. Don't wait until you're over the top. Take a break regularly. I have a girlfriend who sits in the tub every night after supper for 30-45 minutes and nobody is allowed to knock on the door....sounds good to me. Regenerate before your batteries are low. Keep us informed... 


Name: www.really-rich.com | Date: Sep 11th, 2006 2:08 PM
Hi Kdaerose
We all feel the same with our darling babies have you read the new book
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They show you how you can stay at home, earn money working for yourself a few hours a week, its a brilliant read
packed full of tips ideas and advice to get you started working for you making money, what product sells and advertising for free wish you luck 

Name: Farah | Date: Sep 16th, 2006 3:02 PM
I had my baby June 23, '06, so she is now 12 weeks old and from the first day I had her I would cry at the idea of having to go to work and leaving her. Well I still haven't got a job because I just can't stand the though of leaving her for more than an hour. I've only been away from her a few times and that was at about 5 hours each time and it killed me. I only did it cause my sister was in a bad car accident and had to have her hip replaced (she's only 16 too) so I HAD to go to the hospital and obviously couldn't take my baby in that germ infested place. I also breastfeed my baby and she never gets a bottle so I guess the bond is stronger. I do get tired at times and want a break from holding her, and sometimes her grandma will watch her so I can run to the store with out having to drag her out, but I find myself rushing the whole time cause I'm worried if my baby's going to be crying for me. EVeryone is different though. I just don't want to miss anything. They're only babies for such a short time and that time goes by so fast! 

Name: carynlee64 | Date: Sep 24th, 2006 2:12 PM
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Name: littlemom | Date: Oct 2nd, 2006 3:09 AM
YOUR HEART IS TELLING YOU THE TRUTH! NO YOU DO NOT WANT SOMEONE ELSE RAISING YOUR CHILD. AND IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND IT WILL ONLY BE BECAUSE YOU ARE ADJUSTING OR BECAUSE OF SELFISHNESS. THE WOMEN YOU ARE TALKING TO ARE EITHER IGNORANT OR HAVE SOLD OUT TO THE FEMINIST MINDSET WHICH HATES CHILDREN AND FAMILY. I HOPE YOU DO WHAT IS RIGHT AND NOT PLACE YOUR CHILD OR CHILDREN ON THE MARKET FOR A FEW EXTRA DOLLARS A WEEK AND ADD TO THE INSTITUTIONS FULL OF DAILY ORPHANED CHILDREN IN THIS COUNTRY. ONCE UPON A TIME A WOMAN WOULD HAVE THOUGHT YOU WERE INSANE TO SUGGEST SHE HAND THE LIFE OF HER CHILD TO SOMEONE ELSE TO RAISE UP, TRAIN AND LOVE. WHY DO WOMEN HATE BEING WOMEN? IT IS LIKE CHILD SACRIFICE, AND ALL FOR MONEY , EASE AND SELFISH AMBITION. BUT WOMEN WON'T SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN NOW WILL THEY? DISGUSTING!!!! PLEASE STAY HOME, ENJOY YOUR LITTLE ONE AND KEEP YOUR HOME A HAVEN, BAKE COOKIES, AND JUST SAVOUR THIS LITTLE PIECE OF TIME IN LIFE THAT YOU'LL NEVER GET BACK AND NOR WILL THE CHILDREN. 

Name: wendy | Date: Oct 2nd, 2006 5:42 AM
littlemom, you should change your name to "littlemind". That is a ridiculous statement and it assumes everyones situation is the same. Maybe if you went to work someone could teach you how to turn off the caps lock on your keyboard. When your child is school age will you still keep them at home? If yes, then you are depriving your children, if no, then you are a hypocrite.
Stay at home and bake cookies? Are you doing this for your children or because you like to sit on the couch scoffing cookies a handful at a time while watching Oprah?
Children adjust well to being in care during the day and most of them really enjoy it. It is good for their social development right from a young age. I think you are looking for a reason to stay at home and taking this moral highground is an excuse to do that.
Fair enough, if you like to kid yourself that's fine but don't come into the working mums forum and start mouthing off about ignorant people and selfishness. No go have another cake, I think Days of Our Lives is starting. 

Name: Layne | Date: Oct 2nd, 2006 1:11 PM
To each there own....Everyone does what he or she needs to do for there family. This same old arguement verses working moms and sahms is getting stale and old. It really just show insecurities.
As for the question at hand.....I think it is scary to leave a baby and everyone within reason shares this fear. If and when the time comes do your homework. interview the child provider. Make a list of reasons that are important to you and ask. This will help relieve the anxiety.

I hope we are here as friends to help one another not to rip each others to shreds I think this happens enouph in life. 

Name: littlemom | Date: Oct 3rd, 2006 1:28 AM
Hey Wendy~ The caps key is off and by the way I've kept all three of my children home into adulthood because that's what God requires for them and myself as their mother. The cookies and cake comment is absurd and we don't watch Television at all. My day is too full to make it to the couch because I am busy working in my home and with my children and for my own husband not someone elses. So no, I am not lazy nor a glutton and I don't expect the world to do my God given job. Thanks but your guilty conscience and assuming comments do not impress me or offend me quite frankly. The truth is the truth and it applies to every one. Argue with your Maker not me. Have you considered what the Lord requires of you? These aren't my rules but the rules of the world are sure destroying families are they not? God's ways never destroyed anyone~ A thought. 

Name: jamcarant | Date: Oct 4th, 2006 4:17 AM
Littlemom - you need to stop preaching to eeryone about how they live their lives. you made your choice, so let everyone make their own choices. God also said "Love thy neighbor" not INSULT thy neighbor. so PLEASE stop doing it. you are hurting feelings, making people feel bad, and getting some of the pregnant moms on here upset. keep your ideas about how children should be raised to yourself please. it's good to talk and be social, but not to preach like you have been on all the pages. besides, it is 2006, the economy sucks, and families with children can not live on one income these days. 

Name: Layne | Date: Oct 4th, 2006 2:00 PM
I agree. Theres a way to let people know your views without putting others down in the process. No one listens when this happens anyway. 

Name: littlemom | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 2:53 AM
You know what, the statement that you can't live on one income is false. I know that because we do and we have three children and feed many, many more and most of my friends have four and more and do not work outside of the home. They are careful and frugal with the money their husbands earn and they spend wisely. Women never used to have this mindset and they never had to struggle with concerns of leaving the children here and there, why not? It wasn't because families were more wealthy, just the opposite was true in fact they worked diligently to stretch what they had and had their priorities in order. Women believe all these lies these days because they've been fed a steady diet for years now of feminist agenda messages and have fallen hard taking the little ones and their husbands with them. It is not a woman's place to support the family, it is her position to nurture it. This is not an option, God ordained it not me, and maybe if you ladies would read up on a bit of history including God's guide for life you would see all of this too. Does anyone care? 

Name: Sarah M | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 7:56 AM
I have something to say to littlemom. If your a SAHM why are you coming on the WM;s post and insulting them. To me you are just coming on here to start a heated arguement. Now I may be wrong but if your so against it then stay away from the post and no one will get their feelings hurt nor will anyone see you as a person who has a one way mind and cant see why some women HAVE to work. And yes some HAVE TO becuase their children need food, clothes, toys, ect and maybe there is places you can get help from but myself would rather my child stay with someone I feel comfortable with while I work for a few hours than my child starving or not having things that he. or she would like. I would hate myself if I didnt get a job and struggled just because I thought putting my child into childcare would be me giving into thi feminist world you are talking about. Not saying you are im just saying thats how I would feel if i knew i could do better for my kids but didnt cause i didnt want to give in or whatnot. Hope all is well with everyone have a great day. Guess i needed to post this twice. SOME WOMEN HAVE TO WORK. Whether it be cause Hubby doesnt make enough or becuase the babies dad split or has past on. Maybe if you would look past your one sided mind you would see this. Great im glad you can saty home with your kids thats fine but dont down talk the women who cant or even the women who choose to work so they can have nice things for thier children and themselves. Their kids are no less loved than yours whether you think so or not. Your just plain rude in my eyes becuase its one point to state a opinion and have a mature discussion even a debate but when you sit there and say these women are wrong and they dont care all i see is someone who likes to argue cause they think they know all 

Name: cinner29 | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 11:07 AM
Littlemom, I should have guessed that was your angle. I certainly wish you had stated your opinions as being your own opinions and not hiding behind a security blanket of religious rules. Why? Because if you were open about them being your own opinions I would debate the issue with you. But since you have raised it as a religious issue I will have to pull out of this argument out of respect for the sensitivities of others who share your religion but not your ridiculous views. Besides, I have a suspicion you are actually a man pushing his own opinions in the guise of a woman.
Oh stuff it, I have to say this, you say the worlds rules are destroying families but gods rules never harmed anyone? Wow. How ignorant. I take back my comments about you watching too much TV. You need to watch MORE. Start with the news. Then the History channel. Then try picking up a book or two. Start with the Crusades, then maybe the Inquisition. Just for starters. That is, if your husband will let you.
I'm certainly not anti-religion, or anti-christian by any means but your ignorant views and comments need to be put in perspective, throughout history religious beliefs have often been perverted in order to manipulate other people.
Women play an important role in the workplace, what do you think would happen to the world if all the women pulled out of the workforce? Think about it. If you have any understanding of economics and how the world works you will see what I am saying. 

Name: Layne | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 2:38 PM
stop feeding her. She just thinks where all going to hell anyway. Just go on with your conversations as if she doesnt exsist. Im not explaining my situation any further. I know who I am. 

Name: cinner29 | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 2:49 PM
you are right Layne...I just get worked up. 

Name: Layne | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 3:50 PM
Thats ok it is frustrating. Thats not my guilty thinking either.
i stayed home for almost 12 years Im sorry if I think its time for me now. Im not depressed anymore. I feel like I have something for me now and Im so happy. My kids see this too and it reflects on them. 

Name: jamcarant | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 4:43 PM
i'm sorry that my post was totally off topic, i was just very mad and upset about what she said and the insults. i haven't worked in almost a year, i have been staying home with my children while my boyfriend worked, and we are getting things turned off for non-payment. one income doesn't work for us and i don't like being told that we CAN live on it. i'm getting ready to go back to work after i have this baby, and i feel like a bad mom for that anyway (even tho i know i'm not and i have to very badly). comments like what she said hurt really bad, and this forum has a lot (not all) pregnant moms that can not afford to get upset for the sake of their babies.

kdaerose - trust me, if you are anything like me, you are gonna want a break every once in a while for sure!! my kids were both in the hospital for an extended amount of time because they were both premies, and when i did get a job, i loved going to work most days. it will be hard at first, but after a while it will be ok. can you and your fiance work different hours? if so, he can stay with the baby while you work and vice versa. i'm hoping that is the way it's going to go with me and mine. and by the way, kids almost NEVER want to come home from grandma's (lol). 

Name: Layne | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 5:30 PM
Dont you worry I know it is hard and the majority here support each other. We wont worry about 1 opinion. she has her right to express herself and if its in a god fearing way I guess thats her cross to bare. I on the other hand know jesus died on the cross for my sins and knows we are not perfect it is his example of love that I wish to know. 

Name: jillw | Date: Oct 6th, 2006 8:33 PM
Littlemom- get over your self. God did say that it was a womans job to keep her family and her house, but he also said that it is HIS job NOT YOURS to pass judgement. You have no right to come on her and attempt to make someone feel bad about their choices for their family. If you want to spread the good word then do it lovingly the way God would want you to. God never said force feed my word to others and make them feel guilty for not following me with a spiteful vindictive I'm better than you tone. He said spread my word and love and take care of each other. Face it lady a sin is a sin in Gods eyes and you are just as much as a sinner as anyone else. The simple fact that you feel like you san stand above someone else and pass judgement shows what a sinner you are and what a hateful heart you truely have. Jesus who is the son of God did not even dare pass judgement what in your tiny little world make you think that you have the right. You are the one who needs to go back and read her bible. I am sure that since you are not working that you have plenty of time on your hands. 

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