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Pregnancy Journal

2014-03-19  (33 weeks)
34 weeks
By now I feel huge. The doctors say Im measuring perfectly so I guess I cant complain. I just wish everything else wasnt expanding along with my belly.
The baby is big enough you can feel him if you press on my tummy. He can be amusing when he rolls, but also quite painful when he kicks my side or ribs.
Pregnancy insomnia is wearing me out. Its all I can do to keep my temper sometimes from the tiredness. Between that and the heartburn I can be quite miserable at times.
Mandy has offered to throw me a shower which is super nice of her. Im anxious about it though because I dont know if anyone will show. Our few close friends who we would like to come cant make it so I dont know who else will be there. I havent gotten any type of response from Jimmy, which really hurts my feelings. It is his grandbaby after all... I guess we will see what happens. Mom says not to worry I just have to show up and look pretty. It makes me feel bad to ask for things, but any bit will help tremendously since we are pretty much living on student loans right now. No one has bought from the registry so we may just have to fork out the chunk all at once since we are down to the wire now.
We went out today and it makes me sad that strangers show more interest and excitement than some of our family does about baby. It really makes me sad that my pregnancy experience has been like this.
We got to go on our hospital tour which was nice. You can tell they put great effort into making it feel like home as much as possible, and they really try to allow the mothers to do what feels natural to them. It made me feel good to see the facilities.
Our childbirth classes are going well. The teacher is awesome, and the other couples are nice. Im pretty sure Damian and I are the youngest though.
I wish so much that we were better prepared. It sucks to stress so much about money. We turned our heat off this last week because the last bill we got was so high. I hate having to choose between baby preperations and groceries.
2014-02-17  (29 weeks)
Week 30
By now Im feeling huge. It is hard to bend over and I get full after eating very quickly due to baby pushing upward. This also makes heartburn almost unbearable now. He is kicking quite hard, and when he kicks a certain spot he makes my leg jump which is unpleasant and sometimes painful. It is such a strange feeling when he rolls or stretches and I can feel and see my whole insides shift. It may sound selfish but I cant wait to have my body back to just my bits and pieces. It is quite uncomfortable now that he is so big and likes to sit so low which makes my pelvis ache sometimes. I think I felt him get the hiccups for the first time today.
My glucose test wasnt too bad so I guess I stresed for nothing. It was difficult drinking the quantity of liquid for me, but not bad tasting. I had the orange one. It was like flat orange soda. The results came back normal. However blood work they took showed I was starting to get anemic which they said is common for this late in pregnancy, and to take an iron suppliment to keep it from getting worse and causing an issue.
I met with another of the female docs and she was super nice. Im not sure how many more I have to meet still. I just hope when I deliver I get one I like. (or perhaps I should ask for the one I need, even though they may not be my favorite)
Im scheduled to go in for a check every two weeks now. We are getting down to the wire and Im getting nervous. I looked into birthing classes and they are quite expensive. Why do they have to charge us so much when we are already experiencing so much anxiety. (I am becomming increasingly anxious about giving birth) It hardly seems fair. On the upside many friends have offered their hand me downs so at least we wont have to worry about quite as much equipment we are still needing. (admittedly it still isnt much as I seem to be putting it off as long as possible) What we do have is stored  at my parents because we do not have any room at home. How we are going to fit a baby in this tiny house is beyond me. I keep praying something suitable comes along to rent before our current lease is up. I just wish we had a down payment to build on my parents land right now. Id love to bring baby home to a house that is truly ours.
I have also caught Damians cold. At least this time no fever, but it is still awful to be sick while already feeling quite uncomfortable.
I find myself throwing my energy into the plans for the garden this year. We started some seeds which are just now sprouting and its exciting to plan the farm and research for our long term goals. It brings me so much joy and gives me something to do besides sit and worry. We have a meeting with the extension agent tomorrow to assist us in our plans. I hope that our little one will love growing up on a farm as much as I did.
2014-01-21  (25 weeks)
Week 26
I  had what I assume was a bad cold this last week. I was worried because I had a low grade fever so I had to take tylenol for three days to control it. There isn't a more helpless feeling than being sick and pregnant and not being able to do many of the normal things you usually do to help yourself get over it. I still have some gunk in my chest but otherwise feeling much better.
Had an appointment last week. The doctor said weight gain was on track and I was measuring normally. It was a bit embarassing because I couldn't produce a urine sample for the nurse, but the doc said my blood pressure has remained normal and I don't show any signs of pre eclampsia so not to worry about it.
Peeing has become more difficult. Sometimes the baby is sitting low and it is hard to get a stream started. I've had lower back pain on and off, but for now it seems to have subsided. Heartburn has gotten much worse though. It used to only hit at night, and a single tums would take care of it, but now it hits throughout the day and it sometimes takes two or three tums to make it subside.
Baby has gotten big enough that he is able to kick painful nerves or something in my belly. When he kicks it he makes my leg spasm and kick as well. I can feel his whole body shifting to one side or the other in my belly and it is funny to watch happen.
I definately feel quite large at this point. I'm growing sideways a bit as well as outward. I still struggle with body image, but I know that (hopefully) it is all just temporary.
I'''-m due for my glucose test this coming week and Im going to ask if there is an alternative to the glucose drink because I'-m affraid of it making me sick because of my sensitive tummy.
I feel like time is going by very quickly. We still haven't taken a tour of the hospital, or signed up for any classes or bought any supplies. I think I've been avoiding it.
Otherwise life is ok. I'm taking an entrepreneural class this semester which I'm enjoying, and we have begun garden planning so I've got lots of projects to keep me occupied.
2013-12-31  (22 weeks)
Week 23
The last two weeks have been interesting.
We made the "official" FB announcement of our pregnancy.
My nipples have started to leak a bit of clear fluid when stimulated. Not too much yet, so hopefully I wont have to worry about leaking through my tops anytime soon.
The babys kicks have gotten much stronger. I'm able to see them quite distinctly from the outside now. I tried to get a video of them on my cell phone, but he decided not to cooperate with me. He would kick, I would get the camera ready and he would stop, only to start again once I'd given up. I guess he is truly his fathers son.
I've been struggling most these last couple weeks with my rapidly changing body. I've always been tall and thin, so having extra flab, cellulite, and thickness seemingly popping up overnight is quite trying on my fragile body image. I know it is all for a good cause, but it's so hard to feel good about myself when not only am I experiencing all these new strange symptoms and sensations, I'm looking at a whole new person in the mirror as well. It makes me feel sometimes like this pregnancy is something that is happening to me, rather than something I am experiencing. Every ache and pain makes me nervous.
I probably should make time soon to get in some parenting/birthing classes. I also have to make decisions about what I'm going to do about school next semester since finals are right about the time that baby is due.
Tonight is New Years Eve and both my parents and Damian are gone. My parents went to Dick and Loraines and Damian went to PA to visit his sister. It's a bit sad to be left behind, but I guess technically I"m not alone since I've got Todd and the little one here with me tonight. This new year will hopefully hold some big changes and moving forward. The new baby, permission to build our home on my parents property, and the continuing expansion of the farm. 2014 here we come.


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