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2013-12-25  (7 weeks)
I don't know why but
I've got a strong worry that I'm going to miscarry. Like I said I don't know why, I'm not spotting or cramping or anything but still I can't get the thought out of my head. I'm worried I'm going to have a missed miscarriage. How devastating would that be? I guess I'm being pretty typical for me: worrying about everything and then feeling convinced the worst worry I have will be the one that happens to me. Fortunately, that doesn't often happen but... Still:( I can't wait until I have my first appointment and ultra sound. Got a few weeks tho. I think I'm going to call on Thursday to see if I can at least request lab work already be done. SIGH.

anyway, merry christmas!  
2013-12-23  (7 weeks)
Back to vent
Still feeling like poop. I am SO HUNGRY I WANT TO EAT EVERYTHING. But then my nausea is like ummmm I dont think so hun!!! Sucks to be you!! and it completely blows. The only thing that consistently sounds good is fried rice and sushi..and soup and salad from one particular restaurant an hour away. (for any judgmental judges ;) don't worry its fully cooked sushi, the raw stuff freaks me out) It's a hibachi grill. IT IS SO YUMMY. I have plans tho to go there with a weekend, so i hope when i go i am still wanting it and can eat it n keep it down.

Anyway, so the other day i could have sworn i felt something down in my belly. I am sure it's way too early but im going to pretend i did feel something because its reassuring. ;) I am a bit worried about having a missed miscarriage. They are apparently the rarest of miscarriages so my worry is irrational but....most worries probably are. Anyway. Starving. I should probably go try to find something to eat.. xo  
2013-12-20  (6 weeks)
I. Feel. Awful.
So I totally forgot what the first trimester was like!! I hardly remember feeling this way with Lela but whew. This is terrible. I can hardly eat because I am so nauseous and NOTHING looks appetizing. And when I finally feel ok enough to eat, I eat and THEN feel awful for hours and sometimes I get heart burn. It SUCKS. Oh my gosh. Terrible.

Anyway, I can't wait til I feel normal again but I'm afraid that wont be for a few weeks..Like a month. I can't wait til my first appt though! Jan 8th. I'll be 9 weeks and a few days. Anyway I'm going to go focus on digesting and feeling better.. In vain. :) xo  
2013-12-05  (4 weeks)
Baby #2!
So I decided to start a completely different journal for this baby since babycrowd insisted on me erasing Lela's stuff to put in the new baby stuff. (For the reflection questions & such) I didn't really want to delete those things so here I am:) With wheatone two! :)

I'm so excited for this baby:) We had been 'kind of' trying for over a year but Evan's work & his schedule makes things very difficult. And really, I don't understand how we got pregnant this cycle. Looking at my BBT chart, I ovulated like...ummm 7 or 8 days after last had sex so he must have some super sperm.

I'm being irrationally worried about miscarriage though. I hate how much I worry! I worried all through Lela's pregnancy too! Augh-oh well. As for symptoms I'm having lots of cramps. It's a little distressing but apparently it's normal. And I think I had them with Lela in early pregnancy too. Lots of backaches. And I'm eating like a ravenous wolf or something. I am SO HUNGRY.Oh, and MOOD SWINGS. Good grief. I feel like a dang pendulum going from one extreme to the other! Augh! I haven't had much boob pain this time though, yet. And no morning sickness, yet. But I'm only around 4-5 weeks, so it is early yet.

Evan thinks this will be a girl. If it's true that boy sperm swim faster but girl sperm live longer, it will likely be another girl. I had several boy dreams before I got pregnant. I will be happy either way but a girl would be easier since we have a ton of clothes, toys, etc already.

I can't wait for my appointment either! Augh, it's not until Jan 2nd though :( SO FAR AWAY. Anyway, I suppose that's all for today! xo:)  


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