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2014-01-12  (9 weeks)
First appt
Yay! Everything looked great:) baby was measuring exactly with when I thought I ovulated. Heart beat was 168. Feeling relieved... Except. Google is my own worst enemy. I had noticed on the pregnancy forum I use that a lot of women that have had miscarriages, experienced them shortly after having an internal u/s. So i googled that and well, apparently there's a TON of women that have experienced that. Some actually bleed out and others have a missed mc that lines up with their u/s. So, of course now, I'm slightly concerned about that. Hah the worries never end. With Lela though I had an u/s and she was only 7weeks or so and obviously she went to term and to this day is healthy and happy so :) My next appt I'm switching back to my other OB. I loved her.. And the new one was ok but..meh. I'd rather have the other lady even tho she's an hour away. My symptoms have kind of faded. (Another reason I looked up cm after u/s) assuming all is ok.. I'm not complaining! But if things are not ok:( anyway I'll try not to worry. My next appt is feb 4th. No ultra sound but I'm sure well check heartbeat so I'm looking forward to that! Reassurance. Anyway gotta go! Xo


so update a few hours later...symptoms have re arrived and it's terrible. I just threw up a bunch of OJ and now my throat is burning. Also I'm not sure why but the smell of dog food is surrounding me and makin me want to continue to throw up. Ughhhhhh come on second trimester!!! PLEASE  
2014-01-07  (9 weeks)
Pineapple
Lately, I haven't been TOO nauseous. Lots of gagging and dry heaving, and exhaustion.. but not too nauseous. I haven't been able to eat too much at a time but i can manage to eat. I can't wait for my appetite to return though. Pineapple today has been fulfilling a great...something. Cold. Juicy. Sweet. DELICIOUS. And ice cream is yummy too. My ultra sound is FINALLY only a few days away!!! Wednesday. So excited. I hope everything is ok in there. It will put some wind in my wings to get me thru these last few terrible first trimester weeks. Cannot wait.

Also, in other baby news. My cousins ex girlfriend just found out shes prego. But not just a little prego. But 33 weeks or so prego. She hasn't had a regular period in 3 years or so so whenever she had a symptom, she played it off to something else because she didn't believe she could get pregnant. And well, she can. And she is. Her first appointment is tomorrow. I can't wait to hear how it goes! i hope it goes well :) Yay excitement everywhere. Anyway, computer battery is dying. xo  
2014-01-02  (8 weeks)
Feelin like
Shiz. Ugh forgot how bad this sucks! Nausea headaches unbelievable sense of smell. Bleh Bleh Bleh . That's all. Xo  
2013-12-30  (8 weeks)
The Business of Being Born Bullshit.
Ok. I am definitely far feistier as a pregnant person. But ... this movie, that came strongly recommended by some relatives and by a bajillion women on a pregnancy forum that I'm apart of...that strongly live by it. And recommend this one sided documentary to ...everyone. It's almost cultish how much these people believe in and defend this documentary. First of all- its a documentary. Take it with a grain of salt. They have set out with a point to prove and by golly theyre going to prove it because..thats what they set out to do! It's a one sided debate, only giving you the info that supports their idea to people that apparently dont have enough sense to question what the other side would say. So it's like wow, there s a ton of info supporting this and no reason to think otherwise! Im a believaaaaaaa baby! Anyway, so after someone insinuated I didn't have a 'proper bond' with my first daughter because i had an epidural.... and based her knowledge in this movie. I started to investigate. Ive seen parts of the movie and now ive read a lot about it. Basically this movie is anti hospital births, anti OBs, anti medication, anti csections and insinuates that if you do any of this that you were either manipulated and pushed into it or that you dont really want what's best for your baby. Also, that if you medicate then you won't properly bond with your child and makes a weird comparison between us and monkeys. Srsly people? You dont think I have a bond with the baby in my belly right now? Or, you dont think that adoptive parents can have a good bond with a child they had absolutely nothing to do with prior to? Give me an F-ing break.

this is a great blog with citations with information written by a reformed pro business of being born-er that is also a certified doula and childbirth educator. http://whatifsandfears.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-business-of-being-misled.html This link includes a lot of information that solidified the way i saw the film that I would love to include here but rather, please read it for yourself. There's also hurtbyhomebirth.com which has some eye opening stories. One person, on one of the blogs that had a homebirth ( i cant remember which story ) stated that before her birth, she was worried about all the things the Business of Being Born made her fear: having to go to the hospital, having medications pushed on her, being induced, having to have a c section, not following her birth plan - so, she opted for a home birth. She was low risk, had an easy uncomplicated pregnancy and made it to full term, a good candidate for a homebirth. After her experience that left her with a dead baby, she realized her worries were selfish and was worried about the wrong things. She should have been worried about having a healthy baby in her arms when she left. Not about arranging for baby funeral or buying the tiniest casket she had ever seen. In the BoBB, they say 90% of low risk hospital births can be done safely at home, which sounds great, 90%! But then you break that down and realize 1 out of 10 has some sort of complication resulting in an needed transfer (to a hospital), you realize 90% isnt that great of odds considering what's at stake. I guess all im saying is that if I personally had to choose between the extremes (a homebirth or an emergency c section) (one supposedly ideal and one supposedly not) I would take the emergency c section any. day. If we are having complications and the baby is in distress, get that baby out ASAP. Have her/him surrounded by tons of medical professionals that have a LOT of education and experience with ALL THE UP TO DATE medicine and equipment. I would take that any day over having a homebirth and being the 1/10 that has a complication resulting in the death or brain damage of my child. That resulted out of my selfish desire to have some 'dreamy whimsical rainbow birth' ::VOMIT:: Usually i try to be middle of the road, not an extreme on any situation, do whats best for you blahblah but in this regard- i will NEVER support someones decision to have a homebirth. The risk is too high and the gamble is a life of a desired baby. Nope. Count me out.

End rant :) Thank you haha I feel a bit better.

Also, id like to add- I am not anti unmedicated birth. I'm all about educating yourself and making the right decision for you on whether or not you want medication. I just am anti doing it irresponsibly.

sorry, one last edit.. I would like to include that their alternative to this (homebirth) should something go wrong or should you not be a 'good candidate' for it, is GUESS WHAT... THE HOSPITAL!!!!!!! The hospital can be your saving grace should you have made a horribly selfish decision to 'birth comfortably in your own home' that could possibly save your life or that of you baaaby, yaaaaaay.. that is. if its not too late. ok END END. haha for the next few minutes anyway. ;)  


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