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Name: Sara
[ Original Post ]
Hi,
just wondering if there is anyone out there in a similiar situation as I'm about to be in. My gay best friend and I are planning on having a baby together. I want to make sure we are smart about this, as I know there is a lot for us to figure out. Would love to hear from someone who has already done this and can give us questions that we need to be thinking about.

Thanks so much,
Sara
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Name: Nela | Date: Jul 28th, 2006 4:48 AM
I'm noy about to have a baby by my bestfriend, but I am looking for him. He was the best gay friend I'd ever had. So, if your out there Nick, give me a call. It's the same number. I luv ya. 

Name: sally24 | Date: Aug 4th, 2006 2:00 PM
Well the first thing you need to look at is what is going to happen down the road when you decide to date again and perhaps even find yourself wanting to get married or live in a relationship with someone. How is it going to be when your best freind gets to be daddy 24/7 and know has to be daddy on the weekend plus share someone else , plus the effect it will have on the child , children don't understand marriege and relationships till they are older so this child will see you as mommy and your freind as daddy and when a third guy enters the picture for ethier of you , the child goes through much of the same emotions as a divorce, other than that it can be a wonderfull gift , this is the biggest thing you need to discuss and even with a concrete plan you won't know how you feel until this happens , 

Name: Danielle Abker | Date: Apr 10th, 2007 3:54 AM
Hi there, I was just searching around the net for this exact topic and was wondering if you had gone through with it yet. I am planning a very similar pregnancy and am excited to do so. As you asked in your forum, I too have been looking for anything that I have not yet touched base with. 

Name: Rebecca | Date: May 21st, 2008 11:55 AM
Hi.
I havent yet done this but me and my gay best friend have just started to talk about this being an option so any if you could pass on any information id be greatful.
Thanks,Rebecca. 

Name: ginger | Date: Jun 16th, 2008 6:31 AM
hi....not a lot of advice to give...I am in the same boat. It will be a couple years yet, but yes my gay best friend and i will be having a baby...its hard to know what all needs to be discussed...... 

Name: ginger | Date: Jun 16th, 2008 6:34 AM
i think my biggest issues are how to balance our lifestyle and time with our child? Considering how much he wants to be invoved is my biggest concern. Is he going to play the rols of daddy or is a sperm donor? etc....
any advice shared is appreciated... 


Name: Helen Acton | Date: Jul 22nd, 2008 8:56 PM
Hi Sara

I haven't done this myself, but I am currently writing a paper on women who have. I'd be really grateful if you would kindly take a look at my web page at http://web.mac.com/helen.a
cton/Research/Welcome.html
.


It would be great to hear from you, and good luck!

Helen 

Name: Helen Acton | Date: Jul 22nd, 2008 8:58 PM
Hi Sara

I haven't done this myself, but I am currently writing a paper on women who have. I'd be really grateful if you would kindly take a look at my web page at

http://web.mac.com/helen.acton
/Research/Welcome.html


It
would be great to hear from you, and good luck!

Helen 

Name: shynubian | Date: Aug 17th, 2008 12:08 PM
anyone interested in a surogate in the DC Metro area, contact me [email protected] 

Name: phyllis | Date: Oct 31st, 2008 8:12 PM
My gay best friend has proposed that we have a baby. I thought that it was just because I wasan available child bearing age woman. But that was a coulple of years ago. Now he explains that he wants me to be the mother of his kid. I know that the child will have a beautifully loving family between the 2 of us. But it is a thought as to what will we do if someone comes along. Our commitment level to this child and the life of this child has to be ulimate. I'm still thinking. I feel like Will &Grace. 

Name: stef | Date: Nov 1st, 2008 3:13 AM
i'm thinking of having a baby with my gay bff, but wold love to get advice from someone that has done it. i wonder how much it costs to get pregnant, how to share parenting duties, how to deal with other relationships for both of us. i know we don't plan to live together, but i feel like i need some help. i have a pretty intense career and would like to share the financial and emotional responsibilities, and as a 39 yr old woman fresh out of a 4 yr relationship i feel like having a child with my dearest friend is the most realistic option. i don't mean to sound so logistical, but i know that i'd be a great mother and have always dreamt of having a baby. i worry that if i wait for the perfect man it will be too late. being a rebel by nature i also like the idea of have an alternate family and feel like we could easily work around any societal pressure. any thoughts/info/honesty would be be very appreciated. 

Name: Danielle | Date: Dec 14th, 2008 8:54 PM
Hello, I posted a note back in 07 and would love to report that my daughter, friend and myself are all doing wonderful. I am willing to answer questions if you have any. The biggest thing I have to say is do it for the love of each other and for the love of your newborn. If you are serious, just start talking about the setup and you will know if it is right. As for the actual getting pregnant; Conception.com works great and is certainly less than in a clinic. Life is wonderful and I am so happy that I followed through. Good luck to all of you. 

Name: Sarah | Date: Feb 2nd, 2009 1:15 AM
Hi, I am in the same situation. My gay BF just asked me to have a baby with him, I want a baby so much and I love him more than anyone, how do I know this si the right thing to do? What is going to happen in the years to come when the baby grows up and has to deal with his parents being just friends and her father being gay? How do we tell our parents that we have decided to have a baby together but not even date first? Is this a normal thing to think about it so much? I am really interested in hearing your thoughts...

Thank you 

Name: andika | Date: Feb 22nd, 2009 7:40 PM
sam 

Name: Janet | Date: Mar 11th, 2009 7:09 AM
Hey...

Well sarah im in the same boat as you.. My gay BFF asked me to have a baby with him in 2 yrs and i really want too. i have a 8 yr old but my husband just passed away a month ago of cancer.. he was going to give me another baby but we couldnt cause he was so sick.. I love my gay friend and would do anything for him.. his family is weird about him being gay and now to find this out wow . its gion to throw them over the edge. my family would be ok with it. But i dont care what anyone thinks anyways. I want to know how is it going to work for us.. will we live together or not or one week on and one week off.. i dont know how to figure this out... any advice would be great .. thanks 

Name: Bounty2009 | Date: Mar 23rd, 2009 2:50 PM
found some talk about gay and lesbian adoption group here http://my.bounty.com/forums/post/260/1720
307/1/1/1/Lesbian-&-gay-adoption-group.ht
m
- not biologial parenting but may have some good advice 

Name: Rebekah | Date: May 17th, 2009 9:57 AM
My best friend and I are planning on having a baby. He is gay. We both want children. Tying to find the clinic to do it at. 

Name: Gayle | Date: May 22nd, 2009 9:35 AM
Hi
I am in the same situation. I have a child and my husband passed away 6 months ago and I have asked our bisexual friend to father another child with me. I am very concerned about what to tell the children - he wants to help look after them both but not with us in a relationship which I am ok with. Any help or advice would be great 

Name: missdbrill | Date: Jun 16th, 2009 9:01 AM
Hi

I am in a similar situation, I am planning on having a baby with my gay best friend but the only difference is that we have actually been in a relationship for a year together as well. I knew he was bi during our relationship but we were very much in love. However I always knew it wasnít going to be forever, the connection we had was on a deeper level and deep down I knew he was gay. He has recently accepted this and has now started seeing guys. We have broken up but are still best friends as that is the main thing that we had together in the first place. But we have both agreed that we would love to have a family together. There are people who judge us but as far as we are concerned if we can give a child 2 incredibly loving parents and who are themselves best friends, what is so wrong with that? He is amazing with kids and I would be so proud for him to be the father of my children. He is someone who would never let me down. I have friends who tell me I could have all this with a straight guy but call me cynical, I have seen enough divorces and break ups to realise that sometimes a relationship isnít all about the passion and romance. Id rather have a child with someone who is my best friend rather than someone who declares 2 love me & then 5,10 years down the line leaves me to be a single parent.

I appreciate that it may be difficult at times and that there are many things to be discussed. But as far as we are concerned the children would come first. They would see that their mum & dad have an amazing relationship together and that they would be never be left wanting for anything. As far as im concerned this is almost an ideal situation for me and I donít feel that I am missing out on anything. I would love to hear from people in similar situations or if anyone wants to chat 1 on 1 just let me know. I donít believe that anything is black and white these days & I donít believe that just coz society says life has to be a certain way that we all have to love like that. My best friend and I like to believe that we have a modern day relationship and I canít see anything wrong with that! 

Name: Ace | Date: Aug 14th, 2009 6:12 PM
Oh my goodness. I thought I was insane for wanting to do this with my Gay bff. I am so glad to know there are other people out there like me~ 

Name: robert | Date: Sep 1st, 2009 4:26 AM
I am not gay but I dont want to get married, I want to have a baby and co-parent with a good woman, if anybody interested let me know. [email protected] 

Name: Dan | Date: Sep 1st, 2009 10:30 PM
I am a gay guy wanting a baby. Im 26 yrs old and currently living at home. I want a baby with a girl would want to not be around all the time but would want to no of the baby and probs be a good friend of mine too. anyone out there want to do this get back to me abd let me no. 

Name: Zebra111 | Date: Sep 5th, 2009 4:03 AM
Oh sara
A baby how wonerful you will be happy and share lots of love. Then the teen years will hit that another story. Don't forget people change. You be careful. Read the divorce pages. Its still a life to share. 

Name: lala | Date: Sep 27th, 2009 6:35 AM
Well you have to comit to eachother in a deeper way than lovers and you have to love each other more so I think considering marriage is a good idea or at least a detailed contract of what the boundaries and expectations are. I understand somewhat your situation. I think that only you know what you really want. Don't give anything up for anyone. Believe me my situation didn't work out so well. 

Name: jack liew | Date: Oct 6th, 2009 12:12 PM
u know if for me just very simple how much deeply u want a kids ???
if u lot forget ever thing and get it when u see a baby born and u will know how much u love a baby .....
one thing only u need to know what is the baby name .......good luck .. wish i can get the same to my best women friends have my baby to ..xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Name: RYAN | Date: Oct 19th, 2009 9:52 PM
I'm best men 

Name: Kimber | Date: Jan 11th, 2010 10:06 PM
I'm glad I'm not the only one out there thinking about doing this. My best friend, Spencer, proposed the idea to me a while back, and I've been thinking about it long and hard.

The guy in question has been my friend for over ten years - best friends since the age of 13. I was the last girl he dated, the first person he came out to, and his self-described "soulmate". I can't think of anyone I would rather have a baby with, and I trust him with my life.

I think I am going to go ahead and do this. He would be a great father. I'm glad there are others out there who think the same way :) 

Name: Chad Patterson | Date: Jan 11th, 2010 11:58 PM
Hello - I am casting a Documentary about Straight Women and Gay men having a baby together. If that is you or you know someone like this and you would like more information, please email me at [email protected]

Thanks Chad 

Name: tony | Date: Feb 9th, 2010 11:26 PM
whats the best way to try for a baby with my best freind without haveing sex as im gay 

Name: Joseph | Date: Mar 17th, 2010 6:20 AM
Hello to all gay loving women

We are a gay couple, been together for almost 8 years and are considering having a couple of children, hopefully one from each of us, and just one mother , thus our kids would be related to each other. And one more thing, we really would like finding a woman interested in raising our children together with us, because both of us are very close to our mothers and we would not want our children to be deprived from motherly love. So finding a woman who could love her children would be totally awesome. We would like to be fully engaged in upbringing of our kids and build for them a home of love and care, spoil them, take them together with their mother for vacations, so they can grow in an environment of a loving family. The best thing what could happen to us Ė is to fall into a platonic love with the mother of our children trilaterallyÖ

Is all that possible?

[email protected] 

Name: thomas sorby | Date: May 28th, 2010 12:36 PM
my name is thomas sorby and im 20 year old and gay and im looking for a wonderfull girl who wood be a sirigent mother for me if ther is any 1 out ther in bolton or manchester then plz contact me on hear im on facebook as dolton sorby i have a blue jeep on front thank you for reading 

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