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I'm not really sure where this should go so I put it in here and in single parents, Sorry if this is in the wrong place. This may be an odd question coming from the maternal gramma. My daughter and her ex boyfriend have a 4 year old son. I know they both love him and that isn't the problem. I'm not jealous, but just concerned about my grandson. The childs dad started dating his new girlfriend about 7 months ago, they moved in together about 4 months ago and say they are getting married this summer. When our grandson goes for visitation, he stays with his dad at the girlfriends house, she has 2 little girls about the same age as our grandson. The other day when the dad brought his son back to his mother's home, the son told his mom that his dad told him it is ok to call his new girlfriend "mommy". My daughter is heartsick over this and so are we. We feel that this is emotional/mental abuse to our little grandson. My daughter told him that daddy was wrong and he should call her by her name, not mommy as mommy was a special name for her. She doesn't want to dwell on it with him as she doesn't want to cause more problems for her son. We think that this will cause our grandson to feel like he is betraying his mother if he calls the girlfriend mommy, but if he doesn't we are afraid his father will continue to tell him to call her mommy so he will feel he is betraying his dad if he doesn't. We also feel that if he doesn't call her mommy she will ignore him until he does. We feel this is emotional/mental abuse to our grandson. How do we handle this? Our daughter talked to the dad about this and he told her she was the one causing the son emotional abuse by her talking to him about it. (he turns everything back on to her) She asked him how he would feel if she had their son calling her boyfriend daddy and he got mad and yelled at her and told her that will never happen. And it won't, not because he said so, but because my daughter would not do that to her son, as it would be him who would feel pain and be uncomfortable over that. Our daughter also talked to the other grandma and she thinks this is perfectly fine for him to call her mommy. We feel this is wrong and not fair to our grandson and our daughter. They aren't even married and they are doing this to our grandson. If they were married and she has been in his life for years, it would even be different. Please give us some idea and advice on how to handle this. Thank you very much ↓
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| Name: momof3 | Date: Apr 9th, 2007 2:36 PM |
First of all I am sorry that your daughter is going through this. I have a stepson, and when my husband and I first moved in together, my hubsand would take his son, and stay at his mom and dad's house while he had his son. He was 10 months old at the time. When he started to talk, he started calling me mom. We corrected him for 6 months or so, telling him to call me by my name. He refused, he kept calling me mom. So my husband said, "He feels that way, leave it be" My stepson's mom was upset, and my hubsand and her had a talk explaining that we didn't encourage it.
Your daughter has spoken her mind to her ex and he didn't listen, I don't know what to say about that. But as far as your grandson, he knows who his real mommy is. I know he is only 4, but just tell him, that he can call that woman, anything he wants. If he wants to call her by her name, than tell him just to keep calling her that. Good Luck, and sorry I couldn't be more helpful. ↑ |
| Name: js | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 6:48 PM |
| Thanks, but at least you tried and didn't try to push it on him. These two aren't even married yet and they are doing this. I think he will do anything if he thinks it will hurt my daughter. Thanks for your side of it, ↑ |
| Name: momof3 | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 8:39 PM |
| Wish I could have been more helpful. Good Luck with everything. ↑ |
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