Hello everyone , my youngest son Johnny was diagnosed with autism last december 2005. I always knew there was something wrong with him from when he was 4 months old, it just took a long time to get a final assesment done. My problem is that my husband is in denial . He keeps saying that i have put a label on johnny being( autistic) . I don't think i have but what do you think? Are we labelling our children ? i am just very happy to have had Johnny finally diagnosed so i can start to help him any way i can. Derryn loves him and our other three children a lot but is finding it hard to accept that johnny does have special needs. Derryn also thinks that i am dwelling on the autism and that i am making him this way!!!! I only want what is best for Johnny and i am trying to make life as easy as possible.
Johnny is a delightful yet full on 5 yr old, which might i add is still not fully toilet trained, ( only wees') . He is starting in a main stream primary school ( full time) in october and i am worried. Derryn does not want him in a special school, but i have also enrolled him at St Patricks' just in case. Am i too full on ? do you think i am making a big deal out of it as Derryn puts it?
please help me!
Lela ↓
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| Name: kimc | Date: Aug 19th, 2006 2:04 AM |
I fully understand your situation. My daughter was diagnosed when she was 4 years old. My husband, inlaws and own sister still kept telling me that (Lauren) will out grow it, and they just do not see austism with her. I think you love your child just as I do and getting a DX only helps you in knowing how to cope, and education yourself and family on what lies ahead. Just keep dowing what is best for your and your child. Sooner or later your husband will come around, but just know in your heart that your child and his needs will always need to come first no matter what anyone else thinks.
(MODKST) Moms of disabled kids sticking together ↑ |
| Name: Mommy_of_3_gurls | Date: Aug 26th, 2006 2:22 PM |
Labeling is not the problem in our society. The problem is denial. If more children got the help the needed earlier, from state, schools, parents...autism would be easier to deal with as they get older. I too have a child who was diagnosed at 3. Her father completely withdrew from her for a long time. We split up and over the past couple of years he has become more of a part of her life, but he missed so much of her early progress, which he sorely regrets. Going through a phase where you do not believe it and you feel there must be something else going on is natural, but eventually you have to be real with the condition and go forward accepting it and fighting for all of the help your child can get.
God Bless all of of you, you are in my prayers...
Diane ↑ |
| Name: lm | Date: Aug 30th, 2006 6:16 PM |
| yes i totally understand that. my 6 yr old son has been very hyper and allways violent and disruptive and my husband and inlaws have told me to take him to the dr. and get him checked, well i did and now he was diagnoesed w/tourettes and adhd and now they think that its all in my head!! when at first they thought he should have went to a dr. for his behavior, well he is on risperidal and he is gaining a few pounds (side effect) but his behavior is exellent. and they dont think that he shoud be on this or any meds i should just spank him or something. thank you for listening.lm ↑ |
| Name: HTIMM | Date: Sep 1st, 2006 10:04 PM |
| My husband was the same way. Our son was diagnosed in October 2003. It wasn't until last Setember that he relized our son was special. I think for men it is hard to see us as mothers want to help any means necessary. The see it as a weakness. At least that's how it was with my husband. ↑ |
| Name: elphick family | Date: Sep 2nd, 2006 9:30 AM |
Hello !! Firstly i would like to say thank you to the caring parents who took time to listen and reply to my letter!!! it has helped me a lot......
Secondly i have another question............. does anyone have a child like Johnny who won't wear summer clothes when its hot? an example was yesterday ( & today) the weather got warm and he refused to take his tracksuit off and put on a t - shirt and shorts! he was so persistant that i just let him wear them so i could get some peace!! is this just another trait??? help i'm still new at this!!!
Lela ↑ |
| Name: carmen talley | Date: Sep 28th, 2006 5:29 AM |
| They grow out of some things and not others. The only way I could get my daughter to live in our world was to understand hers. Have high expectations but don't expect quick results. I realized at some point that denial doesn't go away. My daughter is 15 and her father is still in denial. Use it to your advantage because he will always treat ur child in a normal way even when you have poured yourself into the disorder to where your drowning in it. I quit trying to make him understand it, that drove me crazier that autism itself! my daughter was in a self contained classroom up to 2nd grade then I moved and made her repeat 2nd grade in a regular classroom. I made teachers and others deal with her in a regular setting because my goal was to have her live in the "real" world by the time she was an adult. It was hard and I was labeled a pain in the ass by the school but she was mine and not theirs. I wanted her to be as close to normal as possible. In the beginning she couldnt talk or read or socialize appropriately. It takes a lot of work and public humiliation but now my daughter is in high school and is in National Honor Society, marching band playing the trumpet and all her teachers wish the other students were like her (not knowing she's autistic) socially she is behind and she is naive about some things. This was a child that her 2nd grade teacher did not want in her class so another teacher took the challenge.They wanted to exempt her from state tests at school and she has passed every single one since 3rd grade even getting commended on some! Do whats right for your child at all times regaurdless of what your told he might be. Remember that our dreams for our children were shattered along with the diagnoses so no one could possibly hurt us anymore! Find doctors to support what you want for your child ,dont keep the ones who limit him to his disability. Things can change and dreams will find their way back. I remember crying and begging GOD if she could just say chocolate milk then I would never ask for anything again. That would have made me happy and whole again. I think about that when I watch her march with her band & playing her trumpet at half time! ↑ |
| Name: 7language | Date: Oct 6th, 2006 12:54 AM |
I understand WELL the damage that is done when it seems EVERYONE around you is either in denial or rejects your child with autism or in my case, 7 children with some level of disorder located on the autism spectrum of disorders. It seems to be especially difficult for the father if the first male child has autism. In my situation it is not only the father, but the aunts, the uncles, the cousins and the grandparents. I will never stop advocating for my "sweet " children, which I believe is one of the overriding characteristics to children with these sorts of disorders. There is such a pervasive LACK of sweetness in so many individuals because there is such a LACK of regard for honesty and innocence any more that there is a jealousy as well as a state of denial or non-acceptance. It is truly enough to break your heart!
You are all further right about the DENIAL causing a denial of the help that a child needs at the critical first years of their lives, for this sort of disorder. The denial does not stop with the fathers and family members. I have even had to deal with the denial on the part of the supposed "experts" because of the discreet nature of disorders such as non-verbal learning disability. The pervasive attitude concerning these children is that they would prefer that they just went away. I learned a number of years ago to pray for my children every time that I think of them, whether they are with me or not because to try to understand all of the aspects of their lives and deal with all of the emotions that go along with it is just too much some times and I readily seek the relief that the Living God so graciously allows for, on a daily basis.
In retrospect, I see my life before the position I am in as the mother of my children, as the necessary preparation for this job, which I would not trade for anything or anybody in this world!
I believe that my children, and ALL autistic individuals are far more sensitive spiritually than the rest of us because, in part, their ability to cut through the superficial level of things and focus on the important issues of life.
So remember these words the next time you are dealing with the rampant ignorance that this world has to offer concerning your sweet babies. ↑ |
| Name: jacksmom | Date: Jan 28th, 2007 4:42 AM |
Just sharing this in case you haven't heard about cod liver oil and Dr. Mary Megson....
Jack's story....
After the 12 mos. vaccines my son gradually slipped into autism. He was head-banging, hand-flapping, twirling, lost speech, lost eye contact and he just withdrew.
Now two years later.... no head-banging, no twirling, no flapping, has eye contact and is starting to verbalize again. And... he has Down Syndrome to boot. :) Yes... even kids with DS get autism. Actually they get it at a higher rate.
What helped him? First I give God praise.... our son wouldn't be here without Him and we prayed and I believe He guided us. Second... supplements. Especially cod liver oil. I recommend Green Pastures CLO with the X factor. Check out Dr. Mary Megson's work on the web. http://www.diet-studies.com/megson.html Our Jack healed gradually... but he is healing. I actually had to make myself GET USED TO him not twirling everything any more!
Also check out Dr. Amy Yasko's work. www.holistichealth.com
We give Jack alot of supps - cod liver oil, probiotic, magnesium citrate, tart cherry and recently we added cilantro. He takes some other things too but each child is unique. It helps to find a good naturopathic MD or chiropractor. Don't use supps until you research things for yourself. Cilantro for example...should possibly not be used until some other detox has been done.
Don't give up. There is hope! And... I will be frank here.... many mainstream doctors know squat about how to heal autism. Don't let that throw you. There are people who do know how to help. God bless you! Love, Jack's Mom :) [email protected] ↑ |
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