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| Name: Lory | Date: Apr 28th, 2008 11:34 PM |
| Look ladies----yeah it can be heinous! BUT....the LORD only gives you as much as you can handle....you may think you can't handle it...you can. Have faith..stay strong. When you think your at your lowest...HE picks you up & puts you where you need to be. Your probably wondering is it/he worth it?? I found myself...(MY SOULMATE)...you may think it does not happen...BUT..thru all of it....he truly does complete me/compliment me. No...I wouldn't change what has happened for the world today...it has made me/us stronger...to handle whatever comes our way....so...I say....do you really love him..have you found "THE ONE"?? AND...I have some wonderful, sk's thru it all. Hang in there... ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Apr 28th, 2008 11:57 PM |
| Ok..ladies..I read my reply...lol! I made it sound like I was strictly talkin about only the Lord (which...nothing wrong with that..but...I meant if you feel your guy is the "ONE" stick w/it...it does get better. Best Wishes! ↑ |
| Name: Faith | Date: Apr 29th, 2008 2:19 AM |
| It is so hard to believe how many stories are the same. After a weekend of constant texts from the ex (over nothing to do with the child) I finally sat my husband down and said that we have to work something out. We both agree that she is never going to stop and are not sure if there is any salvation. His daughter is 11 so there is a long time to go with this, if we stay together. Each day, every time the ex invades our lives, it gets harder and hard to say that I want this forever. I love my husband but live in contstant termiol because of her....which is not fair! I dont know that it is going to get better, I do know that current partners should be able to talk the situation out and agree on how things are going to be handled, if not,it may not be worth going forward ! ↑ |
| Name: karla | Date: May 26th, 2008 8:50 PM |
| i am in a similar situation. you are in the right and the ex is crossing boundaries. you have the right to set limitations and expectations ! sometimes it has nothing to do with attraction or that the ex misses the person. it's simply routine or something they feel comfortable with. however, if he respects and loves you he needs to be explained that they should not be in any contact unless it has to do with the child. and your husband needs to be proactive and support you with this or it will complicate your relationship. your needs and beliefs should be supported by your husband if he loves you, whether he agrees or not. hope that helps. kk ↑ |
| Name: Susan | Date: Sep 13th, 2008 6:33 AM |
| Second wife, if, as you say, the son of the ex-wife and your husband is autistic, a lot of communication between the ex-spouses will be necessary over the years. In the same way that you are emotional about your relationship with your spouse, his ex-wife is emotional about their child and his well-being. Shw will no doubt be as overly protect of their child as you are about our husband. But relax! Remember, he has chosen you to share his present life. And as a second wife, I can tell you that to successfully navigate the second marriage road, you need to accept the fact that you were not his first wife -- and be comfortable with that! So what if people know you weren't his first wife; you are the present wife and that really is enough. On the other hand, the ex's will always be the parents of their son who -- let's face it -- has some challenges in life. Consequently, there will always be a relationship between them. Don't let your insecurities drive you crazy. And yeah, as one respnder said, "millions of women go trough the same crap every day." The truth is there is crap in every wife's life, whether she is the first or second wife. Let the crap go; don't dwell on it; it won't make you happier. ↑ |
| Name: andrus1124 | Date: Nov 4th, 2008 9:30 PM |
| I am in a similiar dillemma. I have found my true love, and his ex is always using their son as leverage. She is always calling about their son, and now she is demanding we have split custody. I am not ready to raise thier son. I have expressed my views onthis matter to the point I have given him an ultimatum. We have his son every other weekend, and I am happy to play "mommy" on those weekends, but I work full-time, and what time I have with my sigNIFICANT other is "MY TIME" So...do I compromise my desires to hold the peace, or do I let my true love go? ↑ |
| Name: liz d | Date: Nov 13th, 2008 8:50 PM |
| Eh, I have been with my man for 2 yrs now. He has 2 children with his ex wife. His ex wife hates me and does everything to put me down to everyone in town. She is so obsessed with my patrner she calls at least 6 times a day to his cell. If he does not answer she will call him at work. We work together me and him so I alsways get to hear the calls. She has made both of her children hate me and not want to come to our house for visits with there father and I . She is so controlloing and I feel he is her pupet on a string. She has alsways been so mean to him and controlling. It has been 2 yrs now and the phone calls have not slowed down, the bad mouthing me arround town has not stopped. I hate it she is always stressing everyone out. I get so jelous bc he does not stick up to her. Even when it involves me and my son. Does this psyco ex stuff ever stop??? Will I ever trust him and her???? How do I get the nonsense calls to stop??? HELP SOMEONE ↑ |
| Name: BStrong | Date: Nov 14th, 2008 6:57 PM |
| Hi, I just wanted to let you know that you need to do what makes you happy. Obviuosly this behavior is bothering you and you need to sit with your hubby and discuss what you feel about the situation and that there should be boundaries. yes everyone wants to keep the peace and be stress free and happy but in reality anytime you hear from an ex , it will pick at your feelings. this is natural because you feel that there will always be some kind of involvement/ interaction when you really just want her to go away and leave your family alone. first off, how about letting your hubby know that phone calls should be cut down to 1 a day...maybe in the evenings just before the child is to go to bed or before dinner time. any phone calls that is NOT an emergency can wait till that 1 phone call. if there is alot of discussion that needs to be talked about with your hubby and his ex, then doing it over email is another suggestion of mine. this will leave no room for the ex to keep him on the phone longer than she really should. as for the drop off/exchanges with the child. this should take place outside of your home. either at the parking lot, outside the door, or maybe at a McDonalds. there is no reason for the ex to be in YOUR home. you need to be honest with your hubby about your feelings and he needs to listen to them. If he doesn't listen then you need to give him an ultimatum. your feelings are a serious matter because if not addressed it will eat you up inside and make you bitter eventually affecting your marriage. you are his wife and you and his son's needs should come first. everything i've said here does not affect his son negatively but promotes some sense of a normal life without the ex always trying to be involved. the key to resolving your issue is to talk to your hubby. ↑ |
| Name: liz | Date: Nov 17th, 2008 3:27 PM |
| ty for your reply. I did not ever expect to have to go through this stuff I am when I decided to be with a mand who has children. eh. I can handle the children part but not the ex wife. I love his children and they are confused. will things ever be normal or am i putting my heart on the line for something that may never be normal. it has been 2 yrs and nothing has changed. I am so hurt and am trying to trust my man be she makes it sooo hard, any words of advise. ty to b strong ↑ |
| Name: Amethyst1 | Date: Nov 21st, 2008 8:13 PM |
| My H and I have been married for 5 years and he has the EX from hell, who is always getting in to our marriage. For the first 4 years I tryed to be the nice supportive step mother (I wanted to keep the peace) But do to her back stabbing and slander of me I have now realized that I have the choice to deal with her. If she come to my house to drop the child off I leave the room, I do not pick up the child unless I am asked to by my H, and then I text the child and let her know to be ready, she always is. I have no communitication with the Ex. I have also started doing seperate Bday parties, and My husband is now finally starting to see her for the rotten bi&*% that she is. ↑ |
| Name: Ling | Date: Dec 3rd, 2008 3:45 PM |
| I am totally sympathetic with your situation. I am still going through a tough time dealing with my hubby's Ex. She is jealous, unfair, rude, and manipulative. She calls our home and at his work and bothers him with every little petty things. He finally fed up with that and threatened to put a restraining order on her if she continues to harass him at work or home. As for your husband in dealing with his Ex, just hang in there and let him deals with it. Just be supportive of him and don't be negative about it. He will trust you and see that you have good intention. ↑ |
| Name: Ling | Date: Dec 3rd, 2008 4:15 PM |
| Faith, I ponder the same question to myself. How long should I remain in this marriage? Is it worth it or not? I am happy with my H but his Ex makes it impossible to live our happy lives together. I never have to deal with anyone as crazy as her, and it has been eating me inside out for years. She uses her children to drain our finance. She gets a very generous sum monthly for alimony and child support, and she tells her kids to come to their dad for everything they need. Enough is enough! She is so selfish, greedy, unfair, manipulative, and crazy! She changes the rules all the time to benefit herself, and calls all the shot. My H doesn't want to deal with her anymore! He asked me to help him sorting out our finance situation. BUT THE EX DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH ME WHEN IT COMES TO THE KIDS' EXPENSES, SO SHE CAN CONTINUE TO MANIPULATES MY H. SHE TOLD ME TO STAY OUT OF IT! YET SHE ASKED FOR MY HELP IN EVERYTHING ELSE! SHE LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING TO THE KIDS AND TURNS THEM AGAINST ME! I HAVE DONE SO MUCH FOR THEM WHENEVER THEY ARE HERE DURING OUR WEEKS. I COULD ONLY HOPE THAT THEY WILL REALIZE IT IN THE FUTURE AND APPRECIATE MY LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR THEM. AND SHE WHAT A RIDICULOUS MOTHER THEY HAVE! ↑ |
| Name: sunshinesunday | Date: Dec 4th, 2008 6:33 AM |
| Are you looking for serious relationship ? Singleparentloving.com where single and single parents feel at home! ↑ |
| Name: liz | Date: Dec 4th, 2008 4:54 PM |
| Eh, Ling, Your story is mine to a T. I have decided and told my man that this never ending stuff with his ex has been eating me now for 2 yrs. I can not continue worrying and stuff anymore. I told him on the wk end. I am not going to get mad jelous or say anything anymore bc it does not help makes him and I fight and gets me no where. I also told him i have come a long way and am getting stronger so if that is the kind of life he wants to live for ever then he can but I am not. She will not run our lives and drive me crazy. I have never meet such a women in my life. Yuck. I believe she has issues and will never get over them but they will no longer effect my life. If she wants him. Go atter. and if he wants her which I know he does not go atter. I do not know how women become so possesive over an ex. It is like a sickness. Thinking about it. I almost feel bad for my hubby and his kids. She is nutso. ↑ |
| Name: steve | Date: Dec 10th, 2008 12:13 AM |
| you need a parenting agreement through the court it allows each parent privace when the other has the child . ur only allowed to call one time a day for us is 830 to 930 pm and u dont bother the other parent when the child is there .I have to go around the cort agreement because my x always causes trouble and then blames everyone else so i got my son a cell hes 15yrs old and know how his mother is . when hes there he sometimes has to leave because she argues the whole times hes there (GREAT MOM) [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Triton20 | Date: Jan 7th, 2009 6:46 PM |
| Sorry for not offering my opinion on HHawkins problem. I’m new to these type of forums, but really need some advice. I’ve been divorced for over 4 years now. My ex and I have joint custody of our 5 yr old daughter. The visitation is roughly 50-50. I do not even know where to begin to describe the ex-wife. She’s the type that goes out of her way in trying to find ailments with our daughter. Fabricates illness’ and changes the doctor’s information when informing me. She even inspects my daughter’s private area (despite the pediatrician stating to not “open” her up anymore). Never ever is she cordial at pickups; often times she just ignores me and walks away (in front of our daughter) while I’m conveying information regarding a status of a cold or cough. I do not like her all that much, but have never talked negatively about her in front of my daughter nor yelled at her in front of my daughter. I just don’t see what good would come from talking bad about her to my daughter. On the other hand, I have heard countless things said to my daughter from her mother (things that a 4 or 5 yr old couldn’t come up with on their own). ie. “he is not your dad”, “dad and I used to live together, but he used to hit me”, “mommy cares for you more because I schedule all your doctor’s appointments and pay for all your medical stuff”, “he is a bad dad”, etc. My ex has been trying since 2007 to get a psychiatrist to label her as having “separation anxiety”…with hope that this title will allow her to keep our daughter all of the time. My daughter has seen 3 psychiatrists since 2007 and none of them agree to this title. Through her continual negative talk about me to our daughter, she is starting to suffer from extreme anxiety. Her new plan is to take away my overnights. A fourth psychiatrist (Dec 2008/Jan 2009) was seen, but because he did not agree with mom’s assessment, mom has to decided to move on to yet another psychiatrist. I could ramble on for ages talking about all the negative crap that she has been doing. You have no idea how it feels to watch my little angel so stressed and confused all because mom is an evil vindictive person. How do I deal with woman that doesn’t consider me as the father (even though I am)? How can I help my daughter (since mom is not willing to act like a normal parent)? ↑ |
| Name: sharif | Date: Sep 29th, 2009 6:59 PM |
| Hi How are you sweet ↑ |
| Name: reaz | Date: Jun 3rd, 2010 7:48 AM |
| to talk with u ↑ |
| Name: Dana | Date: Jun 4th, 2010 4:39 AM |
| My ex husband gave his present wife all of my personal information...she is using my identity..she is my impostor..she went to a local hospital & no doubt first requested my medical records in the Medical Records Dept. & LATER requested and filled out 1.) an UNAUTHORIZED ADVANCED DIRECTIVE 2.) DO NOT RESUSCITATE 3.) MADE ME AN ORGAN DONOR & she had an 11 hour extensive scanning procedure ALL IN MY NAME WITH MY PERSONAL INFO..complained of back problems.. I WAS INFORMED BY A WOMAN WORKING REGISTRATION IN THIS PARTICULAR HOSPITAL..SHE GAVE ME ADDRESS OF MY IMPOSTOR SO I GAVE THE INFO TO MYDAUGHTER 7 SHE LOOKED IT UP & WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT WAS MY DAUGHTER'S DNA DONOR FASTHER'S ADDRESS...I HAD NO IDEA WHERE HE LIVE & DID NOT CARE.... I do not know her...she is daily using my IDENTITY , ssn / Tx Drivers license but with her photo on them.. I paid a visit to State Troopers DEPT.& told them about her..they looked up my records and found this woman is not going through the state of Texas in Austin to get these FRAUDULENT TX D.L. WITH MY DL # ON THEM...the Troopers said she no doubt has backyard buddies that know what they are doing duplicating my Texas D.L. WITH MY NUMBER ,BUT WITH HER PHOTO ON THEM.. I know in my heart this woman also purchased "Whole life Insurance Policy or Policies" on my life.. she did not go through 11 hours of extensive scanning and not get life ins. on my life.. It is pretty plain this pair has sinister plans against my life & intend to cash in on my death, that they have conspired.. . this woman is over 6' tall & I am 5'2".. my ex is the biggest idiot ,HE ABUSED ME SO BAD HE DESTROYED MY BACK WITH HIS FIST, IT SEEMS HE CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF HURTING ME.....I DO NOT BOTHER HIM NOR HIS SHREK LOOKING WIFE THIS WOMAN CAME BY MY PERSONAL INFO SO VERY EASY..MY EX HUSBAND GAVE IT TO HER.. THIS WOMAN HAS MORE ALIASES THAN A NEW YORK CITY TELEPHONE DIRECTORY HAS LISTED NAMES..SHE IS A SEASONED CRIMINAL, BUT SO IS HER HUSBAND I believe this woman is "A FUGITIVE AT LARGE." NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THE PSYCHO PRESENT WIVES... MY EX HUSBAND & I HAVE A GROWN DAUGHTER AND THEY WERE ATTEMPTING TO HAVE A DECENT FATHER & DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP AFTER SO MANY HURTFUL YEARS IN THE PAST.. OUR DAUGHTER INFORMED HER DNA DONOR FATHER SHE DID NOT WANT TO DISCUSS ME WITH HIM & TOLD HIM SHE DID NOT WANT THE TWO OF US TOGETHER EVER AGAIN, BUT HE CONTINUED TO BRING MY NAME UP IN EVERY CONVERSATION, BUT OUR DAUGHTER REFUSED TO TELL HIM ANYTHING ABOUT ME & WOULDN'T DISCUSS ME WITH HIM PERIOD, BUT TO NO AVAIL SHE SAID ALL JOE WOULD TALK ABOUT WAS ME....he did not want me when he had me. so I do not understand this... I have no idea if he does the same thing with his present wife talking about me, but it sounds like the very thing he would do just nto be mean.... Joe Ortega got what he wanted, but FOREVER LOST WHAT HE HAD.... I do not want this abusive coward in my life & I pray his present wife will leave me out of their life..... I am waiting for the man GOD has for me..it will be so nice to meet a real man, that will love me & be kind to me,that I do not have to fear... I am Joe's second wife / ex wife & I can tell anyone out there HIS Present wife is a seasoned criminal & it appears Joe has met his match...these two need to leave me & my daughter out of their criminal lives.... this woman he is married to now is at least a head or more taller than Joe & weighs more than Joe..maybe she physically abuses him like he did me...he is now diabetic..his beer drinking finally caught up with him... I want this woman & her husband to leave me alone..I want nothing to do with her husband Joe Ortega.. But this woman continues to use my identity..I do not understand why this is going on.... this woman makes Lizzy Borden look like Cinderella ↑ |
| Name: Ann | Date: Jun 8th, 2010 11:24 PM |
| oh wow...sounds like my life but mine is worse. My husband is abusive and cheated on his ex. She lives down the street with his 4 boys. i had a girl and she comes sometimes and takes her. I thought she was being nice and just wanted the boys to be with her but now i know she wANTS HIM back. The day I married him his sister said his ex cried and said she thought he would go back to her. I decided to divorce him and now it is in process. Get rid of him. It will save you a lot of pain. ↑ |
