I have been married for 25 years. I have 2 great kids, 17 and 19.
My husband isn't "bad" he just is the wrong person for me. I've known that for a long time, but somehow the kids being little and needing me I managed to convince myself that it was ok.
They're older one in college the other one on his way and now there is no one.
I married him to impress everyone else. He was everything I thought i wanted and I recognized very early on that he wasn't. My husband is a nice person, caring person, he just isn't emotional or physical.
I come from a Mediterranean background where people yelled, screamed fought then hugged kissed and made up. Hw comes from a german/mutt (his words not mine) background very reserved. I thought that was sooooo civilized and wanted it. Now I've got it and I'm miserable.
I got all the affection from my kids when they were little and it didn't matter now that my kids are leaving. OMG !!!
He has never said he loved me, I don't think he has ever been passionately or wildly in love with me. When people talk about the "passion" being gone, well we've never had it.
Now we haven't touched, had sex for almost 4 years. If I approach him or hold his hand or cuddle up to him in bed he is fine with it, but he never initiates it.
I know what you're thinking that "he is having an affair". He is not, I assure you. I wish he was that would at least be a reason to leave him.
He is just asexual!!!!
I married him because I'm an only child and he is one of 5. None are married or in a relationship.
Their father just died they never even hugged each other.
NONE of them touch each other!!! It is the weirdest thing. They don't cry, they are NEVER very happy. They hate parties, family get togethers. They hate Christmas, we no longer exchange presents, we don't exchange presents for birthdays etc. Their logic is that we are older and established and we don't really "need" anything. I can't get through to them that it's not about "needing" it's just wanting to give to someone you care for. THey just don't get it.
My husband is the best of them, but still. He tries or I should say tried and the older he gets the more like them he becomes.
I am 53 and my husband is 55, We could potentially be together for another 25 years.
His family lives well into their 80's and 90's mine dies early in their early 60's. I can only hope to follow suit. I cannot imagine having to be with him for another 25-30 years!
Yet I don't want to die early, and I know I won't leave him. Can't really for may reasons, mostly my insecurities and background .
BTW, none of these categories are the right one, ah well!! ↓
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