Home » Pick Your Crowd » Divorced Family » i am marrried and both of us as had affair and im now 3 week

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Name: Victoria129

[ Original Post ]

I dont know what to do before my husband got home I had cheated not once but three different times i know it was wrong but my husband and I were going thought many problems for abuse and down right hating each other but we had two children so i dint care I was there for them and him will have a weird life style were other people have said its just wrong. But I dont care I love him and He loves me. But I have found out I am pregnant and my husband and I a long time ago said that we would not have anymore for at least 5 to 10 years since we have a 2 year old and a 1year old. But he dose know and we werent going to have it But Another problem is that it may not be his. I dont know what to do I hate my Life cause I dont want to hurt someone for my mistakes but at the same time i dont want to have a child thats not my husband.I am very young and very stuip I thought that getting married and having a family would be great it just the part people dont tell you is thats it alot of work and you need wisdom. I am trying to do what best for everyone I dont care what it is that I need only to make my family happy . My mother and brother live with me and help everyday and will all work very hard to have a strong family but I seem to be the least smart one in the picture. I dont want to hurt my husband or family or friends but its a 3 to 1 on keeping the baby the of the man I was with says he wants the baby and would hate me if its a girl and I didnt have it and the other one says he dosent care if it not hes he want s to be here to help me and he dose but my husband dose want another child and im so lost right now. this child could hurt everone around me if I have it or not so what should I do I cant handle a three baby I cant deal with the ones I have but I try I fight for them and I do all that I can when dadd is gone for months maybe a year at a time I cant take to much more and I just need some help or advice this is one of those times you hope an angel is listenin. ↓

Name: Lizzi | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 9:38 PM

Is your husband in the military or something and that's why he is gone for months on end? Maybe that kind of lifestyle just isn't for you. Maybe not for him either if you both are cheating on each other! You must deal with what's at hand. You are pregnant and you don't know who the father is. O.k. What you and your husband need to do is sit down and talk heart to heart about your marriage and if you really want to be together. Can he accept this baby knowing it might not be his own? If he can't you have a big problem.But if he can accept it as his own then you two must decide from this point on that you are no longer going to cheat on each other and mean it and live by it.Since you already have 2,one more isn't going to be that big of a deal. The oldest one can help you out some too. Good luck to whatever you decide to do! ↑

Name: fancy | Date: Oct 24th, 2006 2:04 AM

Hi Victoria first part is you need to do whats best for your kids and the one your carrying they didnt ask for none of this either you and your husband need to figure out to stay together or stay apart I know its easier said then done but the kids dont need to be in the middle of it Lizzi is right you two need to sit down and have a long talk also you need to find out who the real father is that can be done by a test and remember dont stay together just for the kids sake it never works out (I know but I was abused also by my ex husband so I know for a fact it doent work you end up hurting the kids when you think your helping remember you need to be happy and then everyone else will be good luck in all of this and remember just keep faith and it will all work out for the best only you have the power of it no one else can tell you what your heart is already telling you!!! good luck ↑

Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Oct 24th, 2006 2:25 PM

You need to come out and be honest with everyone. Especially, if you want to keep the baby. It isn't fair to your baby to start a life out confused. If you are unhappy with your husband, then you need to re-think your marriage to him. Sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel and dicsuss about the way you two treat each other. Tell him that you feel it isn't fair to him about how you feel or how upset you are with him. Then, you need to work on the honesty of your other relationships. Are they lustful relationships or do you actually feel something between the two of you? You need to be fair to them as well. You need to shift all your energy towards your children. They are the most important things in your life and they need mommy to be responsible and clear headed. I'm sure you need a break once in a while because their dad is gone all the time. You have to put your life back on track and only you can do it. You can do it!!!!! Your not the screw up that you think you are. You need to change your priorities. Ask yourself what is the most important thing to you and keep making a list. Then, once you feel you have that in order, move your way down your list. Pretty soon, you will feel like your on top and can handle things alot better than before. Before you do anything, you have need to have a careful thought out plan. How will you be able to support your children if you do leave your husband? I'm not staying with him because you can't afford it, but you will need a decent job to help with the cost of living. Where will you live? Are you going to leave or will your husband? Will you be able to afford your rent/house payment? These are things to consider while making your decisions. If your plan is to be a single mom, you can do it and you will have to work very hard at it. I wish you well and hope things will work out for you. ↑