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This little girl well exaggerating a bit is 19 years old. i'm pregnant with our first child and this girl is trying to take over. she talks to my husband and even has pictures of them together because they were supposedly "friends" now she wants to ask me about my baby and stuff. almost like i'm having this baby for the two of them. I don't know what to do. she emails him saying oh i miss you and puts a little heart next to it. and the bad part about it is my hubby is letting her do this. i don't know what to do but i know for sure that i'm not going to let my little girl anywhere near this woman and i already told my husband if he were going behind my back to do something he is free to leave but the baby stays with me. for christs sake he doesn't have a job and is going to school while i support us. i pay all the bills and he wants to treat me like this? it makes me sick and i cry about it all the time because of the fact that i'm a big girl and this chick is just skinny and young. But as far as seeing or getting to my baby she can kiss my a$$! what do you think i should do because this isn't the first time it has happened he quit for a while and now she is back wanting to know all this information about my baby. it stresses me out and it sucks. so what should i do guys you all have great advice and i would love to hear it. ↓
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| Name: charla | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 3:28 PM |
| omg this is a very delicate subject i would have a serios sit down with him he needs to be honest with you thats not right just treating you like that especially since you carring his child !!! you need to tell him he cant see or be with her he needs to choose you dont want to live your life this way its miserable !!! stick to your guns and be firm with him . good luck ↑ |
| Name: pj754 | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 3:51 PM |
| Well, I would question exactly what kind of relationship they have? They say just friends but she emails him saying she misses him with a little heart next to it would definately make me wonder. What did hubby say when you told him about the baby staying with you if he goes behind your back? Does he tell you about the conversations he has with this girl or do you find out on your own? Does he tell you often that he loves you? Does he express to you how excited he is to have the baby? The reason why I ask you these questions is because you don't want to start accusing him of anything wrong. It just might push him to do just so. You want to keep an open mind. Maybe he's talking about the baby because he's excited about having it. Yet, this girl seems to be sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. However, stay positive and communicate with your hubbyt. Don't let him see just how jealous your are of this relationship he has with her until you absolutely know there is something more going on than just talking. If he's willing to tell you most of what they talk about, then it sounds like he's in love with you even though he may see that this girl is infatuated with him. It may be sort of flattering to him but it's you that he comes home to, right??? My finance has told me about the girls at his work flirting with him, etc.... Yes, deep down it bothers me, I feel somewhat jealous but I don't let him know it. I make sure I'm willing to listen to what he tells me about them and keep a positive spirit about it because I know it's me he comes home to right after work. He tells me he loves me and just the little things he does shows it. I hope this helps. Be careful in putting up your defenses, he could start to resent it. ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 3:55 PM |
| he doesn't tell me any of it. i find it out on my own. but she is just too "curious'" about my baby. i haven't told him the baby was staying with me but i have told him that i'm not having the baby for the two of them. because this happened a while ago with them being friends and she would text him on the phone all the time it was to the point he would go to the bathroom to take a shower with his phone so he could talk to her. and i knew it and always made a fuss about it. so he said he quit but now that i'm pregnant she just pops up again? its just too weird like they are going behind my back to set up their family or whatever and i don't like that at all. ↑ |
| Name: charla | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 4:00 PM |
| well i think that you already answered your own question you shoulnt put yourself or your unborn child trough this stress he obviosly doesnt value yall marraige and niether does this other women and if this has happened before with the same woman then it cant be good news . i am also from a divorced family it sucks i know but my mom did the best thing she could by leaving my dad time and time again he cheated on her and she found someone who was wonderful and loved my brother and i as his own . and i to have personally been through a slightly similar situation my marriage really hasnt ever been the same but we both try . ↑ |
| Name: charla | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 4:05 PM |
| i just read your last post on due date i am so sorry its sucks !!! i would just go home and do your thing dont say anything about it and when he wonders whats wrong i would just commly tell him no yelling no screaming on your part and end it if he continues tell him youve said all you needed to say so unless hes going to do something about it then he need not go any further with the conversation. ↑ |
| Name: charla | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 4:05 PM |
| oh and im just going to stay on this post if you dont mind . ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 4:07 PM |
| oh no i don't mind i just wrote to other people in the other because i was going nuts because i wanted some advice i feel like i'm going crazy. ↑ |
| Name: charla | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 4:27 PM |
| i know this is hard im sorry that you dont have a good support system and on top of that your pregnant wich makes it so much more emotional just take some deep breathes i promise youll be ok you need to first get the answers the truth and go from there i just think its not right to be so private with a conversation from the opposite sex when your married but everyone is different he has to know that this friendship or whatever it is bothers you . i would probebly ask him if yalls marriage means anything to him he needs to stop with this girl becouse its just to upsetting for you he needs to respect you and your desicion you wouldnt do somthing to upset him. ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 4:33 PM |
| and i am not a selfish person i do everything for him and he doesn't appreciate it.he wouldn't even stand up to his own mother in my defense. ↑ |
| Name: charla | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 4:33 PM |
| bottom line its you or her and he better choose you or hes not very smart !!!! ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 4:35 PM |
| well if he chooses her then he has turned his back not only on me but his daughter too because i will take his ass to court so fast and get full custody. ↑ |
| Name: charla | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 4:53 PM |
| im sure that you are not a selfish person i mean your supporting him while hes in school. does his family not care for you or was it just one inncodent that his mother wasnt bieng nice to you ? you know when my husband was cheating on me he would tell his parents lies about me half the things he would say were things he himself was doing . do you think that is the case with you . ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 4:57 PM |
| no she kept saying that this was the second child she never had and all of that it just feels like no one wants to let me have my baby and raise my baby they all want to come in and take over and i'm getting really pissed about it. it enrages me so much that these two women his mother and his "friend" want to take over so bad. what is he telling them thta they think i'm not capable of doing it myself? i've had it. ↑ |
| Name: charla | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 5:15 PM |
| well hang in there you might have to just let your mother in law know how you feel my step mother tried to do the same and pissed my mom off when she came down for my oldest sons birth my mom set her straight as usual !!! but nothing can be done until you get home today so just take it slowly and go over in your head how thimgs are going to play out i have to go have some errands to run i will check in with you later. please just breathe , go do somthing for yourself today just take some time for yourself your important and so is your baby , remember that . ↑ |
| Name: nicole jones | Date: Jun 24th, 2006 4:28 PM |
i would say just put a stop to it. i might just be a huge bitch - but if it was me i'd call her and tell her not to every call, write, or send a freaking smoke signal to my house ever again. tell your husband to either break it off entirly or pack his sh***. nothing like that is innocent. it would be charming if it was, but that's just not realistic. even if it's only an emotional attachment it is extremely misplaced.
my husband is only allowed to have women friends if they are co-workers and even then there is no talking on the phone or e-mailing... if they want to be buddies his female co-workers can come to our home for dinner or go to an event with the two of us. that's it. period. ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Jun 26th, 2006 1:53 PM |
| well this weekend wasn't really all that pleasant we fought for the majority of the evening on friday. but after that. i watched him message her and tell her to leave the two of us alone. she kept telling me that she wanted to meet my baby and to hold her and what not. i wrote her and said over my dead body will you lay a finger on my child. I was so pissed then he put her on ignore and spent all weekend with me watching movies and going outside to do stuff. he said he couldn't bear to lose me so he was going to do all that he can to make it up to me and to not talk to her again which is good but itold him if i catch him again i'm gone. ↑ |
| Name: Girly29 | Date: Jul 4th, 2006 2:36 AM |
| P.S......Sorry but I dont believe he's actually said goodbye to her forever, for the simple reason she was gone than reappeared....If your going to stay, as a last ditch effort. Then keep a close eye on his behaviour! Don't settle for nothing less than best, because soon there won't just be you to consider....Take Care Christen ↑ |
| Name: Nicole | Date: Jul 4th, 2006 3:15 AM |
| Good job Christen! I think that was the best thing you could have done. Stick with it though, and watch him like a hawk!!! if he truly is trying to make it up to you he wont mind the suspision and he'll be happy to show you his phone, e-mail, whatever to prove his innocence and keep you around. ↑ |
| Name: ccedwards1981 | Date: Jul 30th, 2006 2:42 PM |
| I feel terrible for you but I understand. I have been a legal aid for a while and I say see an attorney asap. You don't have to make any decisions about the marriage. Just get everything set up. Get the divorce and custody papers ready and have them held on file. Talking with the attorney might also make you feel better. The next thing I would do, is insist on marriage counseling. Tell the therapist everything. If you can find bring the e-mails and pictures, do it. The therapist might tell you to get a divorce. No one wants to get a divorce. It sucks and it is so hard. Sometimes it must be done. I know somewhat how you feel. My husband is in love with someone else. He denies it. He says that there is nothing going on and he is just trying to help her out. I am inches away from a divorce. See a lawyer A.S.A.P. My heart goes out to you. ↑ |
| Name: jessica | Date: Jul 30th, 2006 3:14 PM |
| hey I know how you feel kind of. My husband is talking to a freind he says a freind and nothing is going on. But he can't introduce us he is talking to her behind my back. She leaves him messages between 11:30-3:30 am like I miss hearing your voice if you get in the mood come on over. I need advice we have a 5 year old daughter that loves her daddy alot. But hates coming home He has slept on couch for a long time. Is that why he is sleeping on the couch? Hes home but he is not. Why can't he introduce us if nothing is going on? Why is he hiding things from me? He sleeps with his phone, and I was checking his phone records and he put some kind of pin on it to where I could not look. I really want my marriage to work but it will not work with all the secrets he is hiding from me. I talked to a private investigor . They wanted 1500.00 dollars for 8 hours of survalance. Which I did not have. I don't know what to do. The big part about it we got in fight and he told me I was going to start getting loneler than I was. Did that mean he was going to start this up? You right know have to worry about that baby. You can't be stressing out, you want to keep baby safe. ↑ |
| Name: MichellM-w | Date: Jul 30th, 2006 6:33 PM |
| Forget sitting down and talking to him. Kick his A$$ to the curb. You can obviously do it on your own since he cant hold a job and wants to mess around with someone else while your pregnant. Dont let your hormones get to you, get rid of him before its to late. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jul 30th, 2006 11:17 PM |
| Well,you said it yourself that your hubby is letting this go on. I think he likes seeing you upset over it. I think it's past time your hubby grew up and became the man he's supposed to be for you and his future baby. Apparently he either doesn't know or just doesn't care about the emotional toll this is taking on you and the baby. I'd tell him to once and for all get rid of "Barbie" or else he can give you a final kiss good-bye because he isn't having it both ways! Tell him he either cuts her out of his life or you,and make him choose. You can get a restraining order against her for you and your baby.If you catch your hubby having anything to do with her after you have made it clear for him not to then plan on leaving him because obviously he doesn't care as much for you as you thought or hoped. ↑ |
| Name: moshecathy | Date: Jul 31st, 2006 4:01 AM |
| Tell your husband to call her (while you are in the room) and tell her that she needs to stop. She has nothing to do with you or the baby .. and with your husband as well. Your husband should tell her that he needs to stop writing him all these emails and just stop being a part of his life. This worked for me but it took tons of guts from my then boyfriend ... now husband. But now were free from her psychotic deeds. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Jul 31st, 2006 4:59 AM |
| Get rid of this game playin bull----. If someone loves you they dont treat you like this. you need to get out. ↑ |
| Name: Elena | Date: Aug 15th, 2013 6:56 AM |
| i just want to share my experience and testimony here.. i was married for 6 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hateing me and he was abusive. but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost…then he filed for divorce. my whole life was turning apart and i didn’t know what to do .he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster…so i decided to try it reluctantly. although i didn’t believe in all those things… then when he consulted his gods and cast a return and love spell, after 3days, my husband came back and was pleading. he had realized his mistakes. I just couldn’t believe it. .anyways we are back together now and we are happy. in case anyone needs this man, his email address [email protected] his spells is for a better life. again his email is [email protected] ↑ |
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