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hello, i am a stay at home dad due to medical reasons(i grow tumors in my right foot), my wife is a asst.manager of her company, so she is the bread winner in ther family, we also have 2 daughters(4&1). we are going on 5 yrs of marriage. i just appraoched her monday night (5-14-07), about why she is staying out late and not coming home and about us, then she told me the unthinkable, she said that she kinda loves me, but she does not love me in the way of holding hands and kissing and sex. she says that she is not looking for for another mate and thinks she does not want one right now. now i know i have not been the best housekeeper cuz i have my views about when the house should be clean and she has said we have nothing in common but i know this is wrong. (sry i'm just jumbling whats in my mind right now), but i have been smoking alot more now and eating way less than i usually do. i have sent her a dozen roses and a card about how much i love her, i have told her that i love her and i sorry, i have change the way i clean the house, the house has been clean for a week now, and i have taken her out, and doing little things to express my love and that i am sorry. at the time when approached our discussion on monday she was not wearing my wedding rings i gave her, she said her hands were ichy, she has since then put her rings back on, she has addressed that she does not want to conseling. she told me that she does not love me in the affaction way, (no hugging kissing or sex anymore). we have household arragements that i think , no i know would affect her if we seperated, and she is afraid of our kids, she thinks if i'm home atleast the kids will have there father. i love my kids and i attend there needs but right now i'm concerned about keeping my marriage cuz i still love my wife. i am also confused because i hold her at night now and she says it is nice, but she does not show it ( as in holding my arm or anything) and if i hold her to close she moves away. i have to ask her for a hug or a kiss anymore. i am scared right now that i am losing my marrige and i will be back at my mom's house and i 27 yrs. old and i have no trait to get back on my feet. i pray now and i hope that my wife will come to love me again, but i feel that it is a lost hope bcuz i do know my wife atleast i think i do. i am just curious what you think? is my marriage lost or should i stick in there? ↓
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| Name: S.H. | Date: May 20th, 2007 2:57 PM |
| You aren't alone on this one. I just had this happen to me also. Almost the exact same situation. At this point it is really her call. I would say don't give up just yet if you still love her. Oh by the way i would suggest keeping up on everything you have been doing if you fall back into your old ways it will just remind her of why she wants to leave. ↑ |
| Name: Genie | Date: Jul 15th, 2007 8:42 PM |
| stick in there, if she ends up leaving, you will be ok. It happened to me & I'm ok. It sucks & is hard, but life does go on. Hang in there. ; ) ↑ |
| Name: ranjeet | Date: Oct 15th, 2007 10:11 PM |
| Name: joe | Date: Nov 4th, 2007 9:48 AM |
| Yes, you are truly amongst the masses on this one. Now is the time to find something to improve yourself. As soon as she sees that you aren't 100% dependent on her even for your personal escape (gym, exercize, entertainment, etc...) she will get interested. You must not forget to eat well, exercize is the best friend during these trying times. Quit the smoking, you should know better, There is no bigger turn on than a man improving his health and his mind. So, exercise, quit smoking and eat well...how can you go wrong? Remember, you need to look forward and if you are not a worthy partner you will be alone for a while. ↑ |
| Name: MH | Date: Nov 19th, 2007 6:35 PM |
| I am going through the same thing it is so depressing that I cant focus on things right now I go to work and cry at least 12 times a day I think I am bipolor or something I want to work out to releave the stress but i am so depressed it hard to find a way out. everytime I see thing ring finger with no ring i am broken all over again. if you find some good advise please pass it on markhill_361@hotmail.com ↑ |
| Name: celestine | Date: Dec 11th, 2007 12:44 AM |
| Julien Henley is the man that does that girls – ask Brenda Fahie a.ka. Brenda Abraham. ↑ |
| Name: Same boat, Different Oar | Date: Jan 12th, 2008 12:26 PM |
| Take Care of each other! not for the kids but because love and the vows we once swore to each other are to rare to go out and seek again in one lifetime. Dig deep to find the trust. Discover one thing that you trust about each other undeniably, and if that exists all nessescesary trust can be built arund it with work and time. But that is the Key. Both have to accept the problem maturely and both have to want to work towards a common goal. Any break in that chain is your answer, noob. If she is no longer willing to work towards a common goal (intimacy and a loving caring relationship included) than I fear that it may be time to make other arangements. Thanx ↑ |
| Name: Jaivon | Date: Feb 23rd, 2008 12:20 AM |
| right there when u said ''she said that she kinda loves me'',shes doesent,i had the same problem with my girlfriend!rgith there,kinda is a nice way of saying NO. ↑ |
| Name: Bill | Date: Mar 22nd, 2008 8:03 PM |
| I hope all is well for you i'm going threw the same thing. I moved to tx. with my wife so she could be with her dad i bin ther for 4 mounth and she told me she dos not love me anymore and she wants me to go back to pa. and we have a ten mount old.. It will be ok. ↑ |
| Name: Stan | Date: Jun 5th, 2008 5:43 PM |
Hi
wife wife told me she dosnt love me any more last month I know it hurts! we have been married for 24 yrs I dont understand it. I have no fight what so ever shes expecting me to leave in july 08. I am very upset. if you want email me @ stantuttle@gmail.com. It would be great If we could talk its up to you.
Stan ↑ |
| Name: Debbie Erickson | Date: Aug 21st, 2008 12:08 AM |
| Women want a man to earn some income, if you can clean the house then you can go out and get a job, just do that, tell her you realize that she is unhappy and you want to make a living, whatever that might be, but jeezus christ grow up, contribute to the family instead of laying around the house like a baby, most women these days are sick of men being babies, and crying about it, they want their man back, the one they married. Unfortunately, most of you men, you lie and cheat into the marriage, and then all of a sudden you cannot work or provide. Women do not want to rasie children and a husband. It is a product of this age that is annoying and full of shit, it is time these children men grew up, got out of bed, stopped playing x-box and drinking beer all day and started contributing instead of consuming all day. When you start working, even if it is job where you can sit and rest your feet, you are earning money, she will be more interested in you, stop being a bum and grow up. ↑ |
| Name: loseyou | Date: Aug 21st, 2008 11:17 PM |
| Meet and Date Beautiful Single Parents. See photos, blog and forum, watch video, send messages and chat with thousands of hot Single Parents. What are you waitting for ? http://www.singleparentloving.com Just join. It's easy and safe ! ↑ |
| Name: ah..life | Date: Oct 4th, 2008 5:31 PM |
| Same boat! Her work, her office, is her world. I am not anymore what I used to be. It hurts! but I am convinced that I had only one choice. To give her up. I cannot force her to love me. I tried it all even begging and suicide. I tried so hard but I could not compete against millionaires working around her. She encountered a new word and likes it. It is promising. I am a good man and I deserve to live a happy life too. I am not looking for another women. I just want to be calmed and in peace. No more hate, no more jealousy, no more comparing, no more toughs, no more past, no more future, no more crying, no more beautiful memories. She is not mine anymore. I need to calm down and encounter peace again. ↑ |
| Name: jenney131 | Date: Oct 8th, 2008 5:25 AM |
| Single moms and dads, if you are tired of being single parent and no where to meet the right one . Try our site today! www.singleparentloving.com Blogs, Forums, Live chats, and lots of hot photo galleries! Free to join! Meet your soulmatch in your area ! ↑ |
| Name: mansouri | Date: Oct 15th, 2008 4:46 PM |
hi there how is everything
i am just try to find somebody to talk to please let me know please
neve by chat.
Thank you
djilali ↑ |
| Name: Ausgrl | Date: Nov 8th, 2008 10:55 PM |
to ah..life.... [post above] while probably no consolation, I am in the reverse of your position.
I work in a world where there is an abundance of money, client functions and prestige. I focused on my career - the lovely house, BMW etc - but neglected my marriage.
Now, I am 6 mnths pregnant and my husband has just told me he is not in love with me anymore and he is leaving. I am devastated and after much soul searching I have come to understand that I am not blameless - I neglected him for so long, imposed on him my views of what success was about and even tried to push him to achieve at the same level.... now, sitting in my lovely home, alone, driving my lovely car, alone, I truly understand what things in life really hold value and what ones are just accessories that can never replace true love.
[ps. I still think he is a cad for waiting with his decision until I was pregnant & for not giving us a chance to resolve things but maybe in time] ↑ |
| Name: ibbe1773 | Date: Nov 14th, 2008 3:56 AM |
| Name: Rich | Date: Nov 25th, 2008 9:26 PM |
The very first thing you should realize is that you are a strong, independant role model for your children. This is true with or without their mom. You are an independant person before you are a husband. Abuse has many forms. You chose not to see the blatent abuse in this situation because it seems like you have low self-esteem. Because you are disabled does NOT make you any less of a man, husband and ABSOLUTELY not less of a GREAT DAD!
You have an opportunity to make a horrible situation into a great chance for YOU! Remeber that you are deserving of love, respect, honesty, and someone who honestly needs you as you are, not as they need you to be. It's a life lesson, but please take the time to really learn the gifts you have to offer. Don't change anything. Be yourself. Be honest. ↑ |
| Name: ah..life - Response | Date: Nov 25th, 2008 9:33 PM |
You rock.
Set a goal. Make it happen. You seem like a strong, independant, emotionally-connected man. Your women will find you. You've been cheated out of what you deserve. I truely believe in taking a 2nd shot at life, NO MATTER WHAT! I'm divorced - didn't cheat! found my soul-mate. it happens! She does not deserve you brother! :)
Make yourself available spiritually and your angel will find you! ↑ |
| Name: ditched_in_colorado | Date: Nov 29th, 2008 7:23 PM |
I am going through the same thing email me at boydimages@gmail.com
My wife and I have been married 11 years and we have two young boys ages 8 and 10. She told me she wasn't happy in our relationship, in fact, she has felt this way for a couple of years. I do attribute the tension to several factors: the deaths of her mother and grandmother in the last 2 years, her success at losing 65 pounds, the strain of growing a successful business. I on the other hand have replaced my career with raising our kids, affording her the confidence to go out and partake in her own goals. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself; I lost my ambition, drive, goals, motivation. I am a great father, even my wife will vouch for that, she even admits to love me but that she is “not in love” with me, to her I became more of the father to our kids which is great, but less of the kind of man she can look up to intimately. I am rebuilding my career as a photographer, and becoming more independent, it is a bit difficult to understand why my wife, with whom I am very much in love, has a desire to be rid of the relationship. She has mentioned that she would like to date (basically have sex with) other people and encourages me to do the same. This notion drives me crazy since her work requires her to travel a lot, and who knows what’s happening at those hotels.
I think the difficult part for me is I feel this burning sense of entitlement; I accepted her when she was over weight and not terribly happy with herself at times nonetheless, I loved her and supported her with all my heart. I was there through thick or thin as she grew her business by insuring a well rounded home life for our boys. The late nights the times when she travelled for days even weeks at a time, while I took care of the kids even as I attempted to deal with my own clients and having limited time losing a few along the way. Now she's hotter than ever and she does not want to share that part of who she is with me. Let alone be a part of my own successes; I feel like I was there for her during a remarkable transition in her life and she is not willing to do the same! I feel this shameful feeling that “she owes me”. It simply hurts.
I think what angers me most is the amount of will she is placing on the demise of the relationship! Sure, I’ve seen her motivated about a great many things, but the sheer will and devotion to make it clear she “doesn’t love me” and her ability to be distant even while I’m in her presence is not only shocking it’s infuriating. The very same energy placed in being so decidedly distant can be changed into something that brings our relationship to a more positive level.
Recently we've begun the process of marriage counseling with an emphasis on individual work. My wife admits, she cannot exactly pin-point her detachment from our marriage, only that it’s "real" for her and what she is "feeling right now". All I can do is focus on myself and evolve into a better me my old tools no longer work, my counselor and I are going to forge better ones so that I can grow and become the best I can. I don’t do this to save the marriage but to save myself. I have given her more space, although she wants me to move out (and eventually move on). The notion of getting an apartment, to me, makes no sense and frankly feels as if I am putting one foot in the grave of this relationship.
We have planned nights out together and alone with friends in order to have time away, I don’t have nearly the number of friend as she due to my many years as a stay at home dad.
I won’t give up so easily. I want to continue being married to my beautiful wife, and I will make every effort to do so but I have to make some changes within myself. ↑ |
| Name: tony | Date: Dec 15th, 2008 11:22 PM |
same thing happing here i have been with my partner 9 years it was grate at the start until we had children. she went back to work and i was a stay at home dad *see the pattern?* "stay at home dad" women want a man who they can show off my man soes this or he does that they dont look at the fact you gave up your job to look after the children so shecould carry on working. i was happy in work, but she was addiment she would not give up here job.
last night we had a fight and the thing that hurt me the most was here saying " you are jelous of me because i have a life, job and frends, and you have nothing. i dont love you and you cant have me thats why we always argue"
after that i saw a differant side to her and now think to my self f*** her.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! ↑ |
| Name: ks | Date: Dec 18th, 2008 10:36 AM |
| my wife is doing the same thing she just came back from iraq and has her whole new life figure out with another man it hurts so much to be in the same house with the one you still love more tham anything but she doesnt love you back im afraid i will loss my family we hav been together for 8 years iv known nothing els besides her i want so much for her to lovew me back ↑ |
| Name: bren.ruane | Date: Jan 15th, 2009 9:05 AM |
i am in exactly the same boat as you ,even down to the medical condition,but as i read these post something inside me stirred and i wrote this ...i hope it helps you as much as it helped me
Pain ,destroys
it lies and it cheats
it rips and it tears
when it is pushed on to you by some one that you care
pain ,hurts
its not wanted ,
its not needed,
i would feel better without it
love is pain,it embeds itself ,
it fills you ,
it eats at you ,
words are deadly weapons
they cause hurt,
they destroy lives,
but pain works
i will be stronger,
i will be better ,
i am not alone
we will do it alone
but we are together,
but we are strong,
i am alive
i have no boundaries,
i have no limits,
eyes open wide
everything is mine to be had ,
shackles realized,
body empowered,
feelings reinforced,
i now realize
it is your problem not mine,
it is you not me,
for i am alive .....
and again its makes me feel a little better knowing im not alone ↑ |
| Name: louie | Date: Jan 24th, 2009 7:12 PM |
| we had our up and downs, now i love her more then ever and she saids she do love me no more and we need time apart . iam on day 3 at my moms ↑ |
| Name: IAMAHUSKER | Date: Feb 16th, 2009 11:55 PM |
| Dump that nasty ole bitch. She has made up her mind and that is nothing you can do about it. I would not spend another second on a women like that. You must have gotten a real good one. Sorry to be so forward but it is what it is. ↑ |
| Name: IAMAHUSKER | Date: Feb 16th, 2009 11:57 PM |
| PS....Grow a set of balls while you are at it. For the love of Pete..... You are a man not some teenage punk!!! I think????? ↑ |
| Name: abood taher | Date: Feb 24th, 2009 10:16 AM |
man u have childreen now and u should keep ur marrge and do the best not for her for ur childreen
any way i have the same problem with my wife she change her mind and yesterday she told me i do not love but i like u i have never got made from the truth but this killed my heart any way keep it for ur babys ↑ |
| Name: joshua | Date: May 29th, 2009 11:49 PM |
| i need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: joshua | Date: May 29th, 2009 11:51 PM |
| i need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and for realy i have been doing it for 4 yrs and cant take it please please please ↑ |
| Name: joshua | Date: May 29th, 2009 11:54 PM |
| if u thank you can help me e3mail me at elibowers@gmail.com not a jock ↑ |
| Name: jefrrey hawthorne | Date: Jun 11th, 2009 3:01 PM |
| I can say that i know how you feel but the world is Love. If you love like you said you do stay put its a very lonely world out there. I have been seperated for about three months now and it hurts everyday that i can't spend time with them i'm in the same boat like you but you are at home and that is good be strong and dont you feel sorry for yourself your still a man and the man of the house and right now your wife is going through a very difficult time being the bread winner and that hard for a women to do and adjust to. Dont push it is the worst think that you can do just continue to let her know that you are their for her dont ask for sex repect her needs clean the house and take care of the kids and dont push i repeat but still love with telling her show her that you are there for her run the bath water for her massage her feet do the thing you once did for her and trust god if you havent allready and pray for her and yourself every chance you get and it will work out be strong and be there for her and i will pray for you also and God loves you and you must love her and yourself. ↑ |
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