my wife decided in june to move out and separate in june. i had a stroke in january and made a post-stroke promise to her to not drink alcohol any more. well, may 19th i had a beer. after mowing my lawn. on a really hot day. not excuses, just that i did. she flipped out, threw her wedding ring at me and said "that's it, i'm done!" i've been in individual counseling since and attend AA...sober, no alcohol since then. what i have learned in couples counseling (we've had a handful of sessions) is that her opinion while i was drinking in the past i've been controlling, made bad decisions with our money, made her feel bad about spending to buy clothes. nothing i can dispute, nor do i want to.
fast forward to today. we have remained pretty close during this separation. we date fairly regularly, she invites me over for dinner and a dvd movie about weekly, we sit down and watch our hometown college football team every week, go out to movies, etc. she has made comments that one could fairly interpret as hopeful. which is why i remain hopeful.
i have committed to honoring her and our kids by staying sober, living right, making her proud, not being jealous, controlling, etc. what else can i do? my goal is to save the marriage, and she's reflecting enough hope that i think i can be realistic about getting this "chance" from her. comments?
btw-married for 16 years, together for 20. 4 cildren 16, 11, 10, 5. ↓
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| Name: Confused | Date: Nov 1st, 2008 6:40 AM |
| Don't give up hope. I dealt with separation while I was overseas in Iraq. So far, my wife has stood her ground and has chosen to stay single. We have a 3 year old together, and she dated while I was overseas. I still haven't given up all hope, and am dealing with some major depression problems which she is still willing to be helpful with, but she says she loves her life without me. I am continuing to fight for my family, but I'm not sure if it will work. Just don't give up hope. Keep on fighting for it, and I hope it works for you. ↑ |
| Name: ann | Date: Nov 3rd, 2008 5:05 PM |
| I am very impressed by all of your comments. It takes a good man or woman to realize they are wrong and work to fix it. 1st you need to worry about your self and staying sober...the truth lies inside of you if you are an alcoholic or not, but based on what you have said you know that is a problem and you are working on that!!! (great job) I really think you have a chance of fixing things if you and her are doing all this stuff together...just take it easy and leave the ball in her court...if you pressure her she might run!! Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers. ↑ |
| Name: jill | Date: Jan 1st, 2009 1:41 AM |
| Are you doing anything differently with the things you do and the places you go to compared to what you used to do together before you split or have you just slid back into the comfortable rut? ↑ |
| Name: kc | Date: Feb 5th, 2009 4:31 PM |
| my wife of 4 1/2 yrs just left to stay with a friend,we have not been communicating very good last year or so,she says she still loves me and I want to fix our marriage,its not another man,its compatability, she says she needs her space and I am granting that wish, ↑ |
| Name: talha | Date: Mar 1st, 2009 9:17 AM |
| Name: mike | Date: Jun 29th, 2009 12:56 AM |
| hey can i ask how would you describe your level of happiness right now...? I'm in avery similar situation and just wondering how you feel now.. ↑ |
| Name: mv | Date: Jul 24th, 2009 5:15 AM |
| With God in the center, He can heal your marriage. I am broken right now b/c my husband of 23 years has moved out - we have overcome so much together, including his alcoholism. It hurts so much to not have him here - the pain is so great that I don't know how I can function. I told him I am so willing to work on us, but he says he is afraid and God is telling him to let me go. It has been about a month and I am not feeling any peace about his decision. I want our marriage back. ↑ |
| Name: depressed | Date: Oct 3rd, 2009 5:14 AM |
| I have just asked my husband to move out. He has been unfaithful to me 5 times and I can not cope anymore. Only one of these times was a sexual relationship the other 4 were emotional and close contact. I am very depressed as we have 4 young children who will be affected by our separation. But my husband now makes me sad all the time even though he is trying so hard to make me happy and shows how much he loves me. I know he regrets what he did. I just can't cope anymore. It hurts too much and the last one was over a 18 months ago. Is there anyone there in the same boat? ↑ |
| Name: raj5470 | Date: Oct 18th, 2009 2:43 PM |
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