I'm sure you saw the post on here...it turns out I WAS pregnant...but I lost the baby. Although looking at it only a week and a half later, maybe it was for the best. A horrible thing to say, based on the harshness of it, and how bad I wanted that baby...but a lot of things have changed in ten days. These things DO happen for a reason I guess.
I think John and I are getting divorced. We've been arguing a LOT here lately, and I told him the other day that I feel more like friends than husband and wife. Told him the fighting had to stop or else maybe we should split up. We decided to take a two week separation period starting the 7th of march, but I don't even know if I'll be able to put up with him until then! The last few days we were being civil, trying to work this thing out...we don't WANT to split up, we've known each other since we were 12 and been together since we were 17...but now...since yesterday morning when we got up, we're just at each other's throats constantly. I don't know if I can make this work...everytime we have one decent conversation, we hvae 20 argurments it seems!!! Sorry to rant, I just need someone to vent to.
Just let me know what you girls think, I'm going job hunting this afternoon, so it'll be about 6 before I'm back on here, but I'll get back on here then! ↓
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| Name: ashley54 | Date: Feb 22nd, 2007 6:17 PM |
| Name: missmara | Date: Feb 22nd, 2007 6:45 PM |
| Well I personally am of the opinion that if you want to stay married, then you should do everything within your powere to have it work out. Have you considered counseling? Or a workshop/seminar. Check out the Landmark Forum - it's an amazing course - I know people who owe not just their marriages, but their entires lives to that program. Good luck to you!! ↑ |
| Name: MOMMY_2_BE | Date: Feb 22nd, 2007 7:00 PM |
| i know exactly how you are feeling and im not married yet. I get married March 10 and im having second thoughts becuase eveyday we get into some kinda argument.While I am at work all day, he works nights, we are just fine, but when i get home on his days off we get into some fight and i dont even want to be around him.And everytime we get into a fight he promotes it around his parents and then they think i treat him like crap. im to embarrased to even be around them. For examle, Last night we bought some new living room furniture and when i got off work )this was planned out last afternoon, we were going to go pay on the furniture and then go to church. well when i got home i found him asleep so i was tossing things at him to wake him up just playing around. it was things so small it wouldnt even hurt a fly. well he got up and got pissed off. Well on our way to town, he called his mom all pissed off and then she asks him if i did something to piss him off and he said yes. and i told him why dont you just tell her what I did. and he just starts yelling at me with her on the phone. im just sick of him making me look bad in front of family. i dont know what to do either. but all i can you tell you is follow your heart. do what you think is right. i feel for you and im really sorry you are having to go through this. GOD BLESS!!! ↑ |
| Name: devsmom | Date: Feb 22nd, 2007 7:29 PM |
| this may sound silly, but on the dr. phil (i know dr. phil- blah) website there are some helpful suggestions on helping a falling- apart marriage. there is also a questionaire on if its the right time to get a divorce. i dunno- its worth scoping out. very best of luck- i hope one day you can wake up happy- and fall asleep for that matter!!!!!!!!!!!!!! becky. ↑ |
| Name: firsttimer | Date: Feb 22nd, 2007 7:46 PM |
| oh ashley i am sorry about the miscarriage! ↑ |
| Name: VeggieMom2B | Date: Feb 22nd, 2007 8:04 PM |
| I agree with missmara! Marriage isn't easy but don't give up before at list you've tryied some sort of counseling...it can help!!! ↑ |
| Name: mother2five | Date: Feb 22nd, 2007 9:32 PM |
| I hope you don't mind me asking why did you schedule it? Knowing that it's coming up must be hell on both of you, why not just do it if thats what you both want and not wait for the day to come? Just curious no harshness intended, I just know that if it were me I'd hate waiting for the scheduled day to arrive and if it was that bad anyway, I might not be able to wait. ↑ |
| Name: ashley54 | Date: Feb 22nd, 2007 10:49 PM |
i have to stay here in louisville until march 6th because i have a dr's appt, that's why we scheduled the separation, so it wouldn't be QUITE so awkward with me being here.
we've tried counseling, but it just seems like there is no "spark" there. ..like we're just friends again ↑ |
| Name: VeggieMom2B | Date: Feb 22nd, 2007 11:24 PM |
Maybe then 2 weeks of separation will be a good thing. You will be able to tell if you feel better or worse with out one another.
Going threw divorce with kids is very very hard. I love my step, and have no regrets that she is in my life; my husband as well has no regrets of having her. However it makes her life way more hard and complicated. I'm always worried about the psychological impacts she have from the divorce.
So sorry for your loss!!! ↑ |
| Name: ashley54 | Date: Feb 22nd, 2007 11:30 PM |
| yeah, that's why we decided to make up our minds now, i don't want to bring a baby into this world and then split...my parents are divorced and i know how hard it was when i was little...i want better than that for my baby ↑ |
| Name: VeggieMom2B | Date: Feb 22nd, 2007 11:32 PM |
| Sorry you are going threw hard time right now. For the long run, you are doing the best thing. You are being smart and not selfish!!! ↑ |
| Name: VeggieMom2B | Date: Feb 22nd, 2007 11:39 PM |
| Maybe it's also time for you to take some counseling by yourself...sort of sort yourself out a little...do some self exploration research. It's also a good idea to get some professional perspective. Always helps me - Just make sure you don’t get stuck alone with it. ↑ |
| Name: ashley54 | Date: Feb 23rd, 2007 12:42 AM |
| yeah, i've tried to talk to someone by myself, but it seems that my issues are with him, and his issues with me...there were a lot of rough times in the beginning of our relationship, and I guess he has never forgiven me. Then he gives me a huge issue after we'd been married for about 6 months,...i forgave him, but he still can't forgive me for my past indiscretions (sp) ↑ |
| Name: ashley54 | Date: Feb 23rd, 2007 12:42 AM |
| i told him i forgive him because i trust and love him...if he can't forgive, then he doesn't trust me, and if he doesn't trust me, he doesn't love me ↑ |
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