I need to vent. I was adopted when I was a baby, so it's a very sensitive issue for me, hence why I keep away from the adoption board, and don't post on it. But DMT (Michelle) insists on posting on the single parents board speaking of how much she'd love to "help a baby out", as though it's some charity work she's doing, and not a desire for a baby that it really is. Now I don't have a problem with that, even though young girls feel "intimidated" by her constant repetitive advertisement for a baby, asking people if they're thinking of adoption, even when they haven't even hinted that they are.
But get this, she only wants to "help a baby out" and give it a "stable, loving home" if it meets her selective criteria. It must be HEALTHY. It must be WHITE. It must be FEMALE. Today it wasn't my hyperemesis which sickened my stomach, but this!
Name: question • Date: 04/27/2007 16:31:50
No,I'm not looking to adopt.I am 18 weeks pregnant.Do you only want a healthy white baby girl? =
Name: dmt • Date: 04/29/2007 18:24:55
sorry, but yes = ↓
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| Name: SamanthaLynn | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 8:33 PM |
| Ummm... yea its not like picking out a puppy. n thats what that makes me think of ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 8:36 PM |
People who are looking to adopt should be GRATEFUL for ANY child, whether it be a baby, whether it be of any race, any sex, no matter what it's health.
Biological parents don't get to handpick what sex their baby is, or how healthy it is. So if you want to parent a child you should think like a parent, and love your baby no matter what! ↑ |
| Name: missheather | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 8:36 PM |
I agree, not in good taste.
I didn't know you were adopted. I had a good friend in school who was adopted. Her adoptive parents loved her like crazy and I always thought that was kinda special. Sorry if you don't want to talk about it. ↑ |
| Name: DaneseS | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 8:37 PM |
| that is sick....i think that they should be happy to get a child...what about the ones that arent white or arent "healthy" they need families too... ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 8:38 PM |
| Well my situation was different. My adopted parents raised me, but didn't love me, and I don't really have a relationship with them now. But that isn't the issue in hand anyway. I just hate hypocrites like her. ↑ |
| Name: missheather | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 8:40 PM |
| I agree! She shouldn't be on here harrassing girls anyway, much less being selective. Maybe she'll get caught in one of those adoption scandals where the baby is promised to five different parents. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 8:43 PM |
| She makes herself out to be so caring, wanting to help babies out by giving them a home etc. I don't have a problem with that, but now I see she's being selective. God. That has angered me. ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 8:57 PM |
When adopting you have the have the choice to choose.
She wants a healthy white baby girl, what's wrong with that?
Granted when you can't have a child of your own you should be VERY grateful for any baby you can get. But hey, she has a right to choose the race and gender.
Now, in the long run will her child be healthy who knows. But I see nothing wrong with her wanting a specific child. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 9:09 PM |
| I do. When all she goes on about is wanting to help out a child in need, when she says the main reason she wants to adopt is because she wants to help a baby out. This is completely hypocritical. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 9:14 PM |
| She may have a right to choose the race and gender. I didn't say she didn't. What I did say is she's damn hypocritical for going on and on and on about the reason she wants to adopt is because she wants to help a baby out in need, when she's very specific about what baby she wants. If a baby boy is in need, she'll turn her back on him? Or a baby with Spina Bifida? Or a Hispanic baby? That is entirely hypocritical. I'm not saying she should have to take any baby, but what I am saying is that she should be HONEST about the reasons she wants to adopt in the first place. If she's so specific, then her reason are certainly NOT charitable. ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 9:15 PM |
| She does want to help a child in need : white, female, healthy. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 9:18 PM |
| You just aren't getting the point. Her reasons for adopting are not wanting to help a child out. That's just a ploy she's using to get people to like her. Whether she's fertile or not, her reasons are entirely selfish. She just wants another baby of her own, without having to go through another pregnancy. If her reasons were charitable, she wouldn't be so specific. ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 9:19 PM |
As bad as that sound if a boy was in need of a home she would turn her back on him.....
Just because she has a peference doesn't mean she isn't coming from a good place.
I just don't understand....why is she not coming from an honest place because she has a peference? ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 9:22 PM |
~You just aren't getting the point. Her reasons for adopting are not wanting to help a child out. That's just a ploy she's using to get people to like her. Whether she's fertile or not, her reasons are entirely selfish. She just wants another baby of her own, without having to go through another pregnancy. If her reasons were charitable, she wouldn't be so specific. ~*
Ok, I think i get it now. I don't know her personally. But it seems as if you do. If what you're saying is true then i understand she maybe doing it to satisfy something for her. And she's not giving out her love from true place. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 9:22 PM |
| Damn even women who CRAVE a baby of their own aren't specific. They just want a baby, any baby. Some women are more specific, which I think is wrong and damn insulting for adopted people like me, reducing adoption children to the level of adopting a puppy, but still I don't have a problem with that. What I do have a problem with his hypocrites like her who claim that the ONLY reason they want to adopt is to help a baby out in need, yet are so specific that even baby boys are not good enough. NONSENSE! ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 9:27 PM |
Name: dmt • Date: 04/30/2007 17:22:47
I am looking for a healthy white girl. Like if I know that someone has been doing meth there whole pregnancy I am not really interested.
Does that sound like someone who wants to "help a baby in need out?" ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 9:41 PM |
Adopting a healthy child is considered helping someone in need if that child is in foster care waiting ti be adopted. I think that's helping a child in need.
Adopting a child with a mental or phsyical disability is challenging. Some can't handle that......
I AM IN NOW WAY STANDING UP FOR HER. HOWEVER I THINK I'VE SHIFTED TO TALKING ABOUT ADOPTED IN GENERAL. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Apr 30th, 2007 10:00 PM |
I don't have a problem with that. What I do have a problem with is her constantly posting that the ONE reason she wants to adopt is to help out a child in need, and not for any other reason, for her then to post that she specifically wants a healthy, white, girl. My issue is not with her being specific, but LYING about why she wants to adopt in the first place.
And by the way, people don't generally adopt because they want to help out a child in need. 99% of the time, it's because they can't have children of their own, and want to fill that void in the only way possible. My adopted parents would never have adopted me if they were able to have children of their own. ↑ |
| Name: question | Date: May 1st, 2007 12:32 AM |
| Yeah,I know what you mean.Did you see my response to this post briseis?I also was upset.I had a feeling that was the case.Healthy white baby girls do not need help finding homes.They have millions of families like this begging to adopt them. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: May 1st, 2007 9:59 AM |
| Exactly. And even if there are healthy white girls available, wouldn't be be better to have them adopted by people who don't and will never have children of their own? Rather than someone with 3 biological children? And she says she isn't selfish. I've tried being nice to her when everyone else calls her 'sick', but she relentlessly posts to girls who aren't even considering adoption asking if they are. One girl said she felt intimidated by her. Personally I think if you're only looking to adopt, you should stick to the adoption forum, and if you must chat on the other forums, then don't keep begging people for their children like she's doing. ↑ |
| Name: Daisy-UK | Date: May 1st, 2007 11:34 AM |
I agree, you can't come on here advertising for a baby and saying you would give that baby a loving home and to help a baby out then turn around and say you only want a white healthy baby girl. If that's the case, she should have stated that from the start so this makes her look like a hypocrite.
Pregnant women can't pick and chose if they want a boy or girl or if their baby will be healthy. Babies can get sick at birth, as a youngster, as a teenage, or even an adult. That baby will always be the parents baby no matter how old and can fall unhealthy at any time, so it's not possible to ever choose a healthy baby.
If someone is looking to adopt in a forum and not through legal channels, then there is something wrong and a reason they aren't going through legal channels.
If you're that misfortunate to not be able to have your own baby, why would you be so picky? I can understand you wanting to have a baby of the same race, but in the end all would need the same loving care. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: May 1st, 2007 12:15 PM |
| Daisy, the thing is. She already has 3 biological children, but want to adopt another for what she claims are charitable reasons, merely wanting to help a baby out in need. That I can buy, but not when she specifically wants a healthy, white, newborn baby girl. I don't buy that. She says because she isn't a nurse she wouldn't be able to care for an unhealthy child, and because she wants her daughter to have a sister, she only wants a baby girl. And she doesn't want a 'damaged' child which has had anything to deal with in the past, so she wants a newborn for this reason. This is what angers me, and yeah I think the fact that I was adopted myself makes me further angry. I just hate the way the adoption process has retreated to parents getting to handpick the baby as though it were a puppy. It's not the right colour, it's not healthy enough, it's not the right sex. I don't go to the adoption forum for this reason. But she posts on the single parents forum so I can't avoid her. ↑ |
| Name: dmt | Date: May 1st, 2007 2:50 PM |
I was willing to adopt from foster care up to age four. My husband didn't want to. I do have the option to have my own child. I picked adoption because I wanted to help a child. No I don't want to adopt a child with severe disabilties because I don't believe I am equipt to give them the best care. I know that the child I choose to adopt might have some disabilities and as far as I am concerned. At that point I would be willing to take the baby no matter what. I know that the child may get sick in the future so might my biological children. It wouldn't make a difference i would get it what ever medical attention it needed and love it just the same. Just like I would do for my biological children. I don't want a child of another race because I think it is better for the child if they look like their family so that people aren't constantly asking the baby question. I think that might be hurtful to the child and I do not want that. I post that I want to give a baby a good loving home because I do. It is not because I don't want to go through pregnancy again. I loved being pregnant. I am sorry to begin with I did ask very young girls if they were interested in adoption because I really felt they were to young to give a baby a good life. I never thought about the fact that it might be intimadating to some people. Since you have brought that to my attention I have not been doing it anymore. I thought since they were so young they might want help. The reason why I am trying to do a private adoption is for one my husband doesn't want to go that route and two if a mother does not want the child and there is no way she is gonna change her mind then I don't want the baby to have to go through the foster care system. The legal system is so slow. I also live in a state that gives bad parents multiple chances to get there act together which means the children have to through years of bouncing back and forth between a foster home and neglectful parents. I just don't think that is right, By the time the parents rights are taken away and the children are put up for adoption they are usually about 6 and nobody will adopt them. Sure I do want another baby or I wouldn't be doing this but, I chose adoption becausing I wanted to help a child. I am sorry that your adoptive family didn't love you but, that would not be the case in my home. I don't know why you keep picking little pieces of what I said and sticking them on your post. When usually I explain my feelings and you don't include that, All babies that need help need help. So I don't see the problem with picking the baby that needs help that fits my family the best. Also another thing you don't know just because a baby is not right for me doesn't mean I don't care. When people have brought me situations that are not right for me I still try to help them. I don't just cast them aside. I have talked to several other hopeful adoptive parents and I know what they are looking for. I had a girl that wanted me to adopt two babies and she wanted them to stay together. I knew of a adoptive mother that was willing to take a sibling group and I introduced them to each other. I couldn't take them because I couldn't take on two more and I knew it was important to her that they stay together. I still didn't drop her like a pancake I am still helping the biological mother through this hard time and its been about two months. There is another girl that has been talking to me about adoption and I think somewhere deep inside she really wants the baby. So I am encouraging her to tell her parents because, I think if her parents would help her they could probaly make it. If I was selfish I would try to encourage her to let me adopt. You have made all these judgements about me but, you don't really know me at all. That comment I want a healthy girl all that meant is I am not searching for a child with physical problems but, at the same time if the baby I was planning on adopting came out with something wrong with it I wouldn't turn my back on it. I would still adopt it and get it the medical treatment it needed.
Michelle (dmt) ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: May 1st, 2007 2:55 PM |
Post from M. I'm not the only one making these 'judgements'. It seems everyone who knows you is. And it's no wonder why.
Name: M • Date: 05/01/2007 09:58:43
DMT, you said:
"I am here to try to keep a child out of foster care that might otherwise end up there."
If you truly care about keeping a child out of foster care become a foster parent or adopt a child from foster care. However, based on what you have said here, I suspect you want the perfect white newborn and everything else is second best. You disgust me!
Also, the way you are going about finding a child to adopt is also less than desirable. Posting on a singles forum ! Are you hoping some single mom to be might be easily convinced to adopt her baby? Very manipulative IMO. = ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: May 1st, 2007 3:11 PM |
If my son had a severe disability, I wouldn't turn my back on him even though I'm not a nurse either. I'd learn how to care for him, as all good parents do. I would dedicate myself to learning how to care for him.
If I wanted a girl, and yet he's a boy, I wouldn't turn my back on him, because he's my baby.
If my son was fathered by a Chinese man, and I had an oriental looking child who just looked like his father, I wouldn't turn my back on him, even though he's a different race. He's still my son.
You have explained nothing. M read all your posts, and came to the same conclusion as me. Even Question saw right through you. Breeze had a go at you just for posting on the Single Parents Forum, as did many others. I've seen you called 'sick' long before you ever posted on hos you just want a healthy, white, newborn girl. Healthy, white, newborn girls don't need help finding homes.
There are thousands of couples screaming out for healthy newborns. It's the others, the ones you won't adopt who actually need help. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: May 1st, 2007 3:23 PM |
| If you only want a healthy, white, newborn girl then why didn't you say so from the very beginning? Why only post on how you selflessly want to adopt rather than experiencing the wonder of pregnancy again yourself so you can help out a child in need? The type of child you're looking for is not in need! There are thousands of homes for them to go to. Question made this blantantly clear, and she should know, considering she is a foster parent. As Daisy confirmed, THIS is what makes you a hypocrite. And THIS is the issue I, and many others have with you. So less of your nonsense that I am opposed to adopting, or you adopting. I was concerned that you were manipulating young girls on the Single Parents Forum, which you were, but I never had a problem with you adopting, until I read what I hypocrite you are. Now you asked me not to address you anymore, and I said I wouldn't, but not when you keep hounding me, and bleeding this issue on and on. I came here to vent my anger, as what you have said made me extremely angry, and I feel I am amongst friends here. You were long since disliked here before I ever made this post anyway. I've heard you called a vulcher on this forum, a tag you earned from constantly harrassing women on a forum like this for their babies, insulting them in suggesting that because they are young, they wouldn't be good mothers! Oh I've had enough of your nonsense. ↑ |
| Name: dmt | Date: May 1st, 2007 3:39 PM |
Thank you, Opheliamath I really appreciate what you have said. I feel I really am here for the right reasons and I am really am greatful for what you have said.
Briseis, Yes I did ask you to quite posting me but, then you just went somewhere else and started talking junk about me. You keep saying stuff like I don't really want to help a child which is not true. I feel like you are forcing me to take up for myself. Thats okay I have said my peace and I know what is truely in my heart and I am done. I would appriciate it if you would quit talking about me all together. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: May 1st, 2007 3:41 PM |
| Keeping living in your own little dream world. I posted fact about you, and everyone knows it. And I'll post as I please, especially if I ever see you manipulating another girl again. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: May 1st, 2007 3:43 PM |
| I totally agree, Randi. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: May 1st, 2007 3:48 PM |
| In fact, for every girl you advertise adoption to where you shouldn't, i.e. outside of the adoption forum, and when the girl hasn't even hinted that she has considered adoption, I will be damn sure I'll be there to support them in keeping their baby. So no I won't address you personally, but I'll make sure you don't upset any other young girls again. ↑ |
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