My problem is with my mother and her watching my son. I pay her $100 a month to watch Christian. And if money is tight one month i'll skip that payment and pay her next month.
Recently my little sister has been bugging her about me paying her babysitting money because she's paying all the bills in the house and she can't do it herself.
My mother doesn't work, her rent is 30 a month. And she just pays utitlies.
My sister has skipped out on work for 4 days and now that she has no income for abourt another 2 weeks she bugging my mom to get her 100, and in return my mom is bugging me.
Mind you Its the 10th i JUST paid my rent and bills. So getting her the 100 is dipping into my savings.Then I have a convo with my mom and she says she's raising my fee to 120 because their going to get a Poland cooler delivered to their house!
I don't understand. Am I overreacting?
I feel like i'm being used. Only twice out of 6 months I haven't paid my mom, and i feel like she's a bill collector.
I honestly thinking about putting C in daycare.... ↓
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| Name: Lola | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 9:13 PM |
That's 33% of the time you haven't paid her. It's no wonder she's worried about how long it will take until that figure slips to 50%, then 60%.
I'd say just pay the woman. Mindin' kids is no easy job and 25 quid a week isn't a lot.
Don't wanna sound mean, but yer Ma is right here! ↑ |
| Name: 04nidak | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 9:21 PM |
| Does your mom watch Christian 5 days a week? I'm just wondering because I would be surprised if you could find a daycare for less than what your mom charges, plus you can't miss paying a month at a daycare. I know it can be hard when it comes to family and money, but if Christian is getting good care and your mom is willing to work with you if you aren't able to pay a certain month than I would stick with her. That's just my opinion though, you have to do what's best for you and your family. ↑ |
| Name: mother2five | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 9:30 PM |
I am surprised that your mom charges you at all, I guess some ppl's parents do that......strange.....
anyway i just wanted to say that i know where your coming from on the being used part, i no longer speak to my mom but thats a loooonnnggg whole other story, but anyway, my mom didn't work either and i started working at 16, i always said i'd never turn out like her, so i'd work and save work and save. Well my mom saw me working as money in her pocket and started charging me rent at 16......$350.00 per month and then she decided I needed to pay my part in groceries as well (since i ate so much pfftt) anyway $125 per month and i couldn't go buy what i wanted to put in the pantry i had to give it to her....which she never used to put food in the pantry anyway, so i was giving her $475.00 per month for my part of the cost she says at 16?!?!?!?! So yes I def. know how it is when family members can work but won't and are satisfied living off of you.
I'd say if your going to pay anyway....fix them and pay someone else, or find a friend or family member you can exchange babysitting with.
Hope you figure it out!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 9:54 PM |
Lola-Nope you don't sound mean at all. I've had those thoughts too, i just need to suck it up and pay her.
04nidak-Yes she watches Christian Mon-Fri. 11am-6:30pm.
Mom25-Yea when I tell people I pay her, but I dunno. That's how i kinda feel. I don't live with her I pay my OWN rent and yours is just 30 dollars.
For the sake of our realtionship...i dunno. I feel like i'm being taken advantage of though.
I've been looking for another provider. ↑ |
| Name: playmatex3x | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 10:46 PM |
| just think of it this way, Christain is more safe with your mother than he could end up at a daycare, unless you know and trust the daycare. im not trying to scare you but ive heard alot about shaken baby syndrome and i decided when i start working i will not put my baby in daycare, i will let someone who loves my daughter watch her. someone that can handle her cry. ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 10:57 PM |
well i do think its wrong on your sisters part, its none of her business. but that rate is extremely cheap and you wont be able to find a day care to come to that low. $25 a day is the cheapest i have seen. and at least you know and can trust your mom, rather than some one else.
m25 holy crap your mom is nuts... i would of moved out lol... but now that i think of it didnt ou leave home early?? ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 11:02 PM |
Odd your mother charges you. But ok. Each to their own.
But daycare would cost more, and I'm sure it's better for Christian to spend time with his family? I dunno. ↑ |
| Name: DRB | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 11:05 PM |
| my mom watches Gabrielle from 6 am to 4 pm give or take and i have agreed to pay her a small something (not determined yet) after i start getting support from J ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 11:09 PM |
| I dont find ittoo odd that your mom charges you, but then again its her grandson and she gets to see him everyday. My mom prob woulkdnt charge us, but it wouldnt be 5 days a week and she only gets to see Tyler maybe every few weeks so she LOVES to watch him, but if it was on a regular basis then i would throw her some money, she wouldnt take it so i would just shove it in her purse or something lol ↑ |
| Name: mother2five | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 11:17 PM |
| I personally have never paid for babysitters EVER, I don't use sitters at the moment but I have had to a 3-4 times and I traded w/ my best friend. Also my inlaws always take my kids....not emilee shes to young but the older ones go to their house every summer for 2-3 weeks and I always slip them some $ for food, fun, whatever they want to do w/ it. BUT they never ask for it. ↑ |
| Name: mother2five | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 11:17 PM |
| zoey how old are you now? ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 11:44 PM |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 11:45 PM |
| Tyler has only had a baby sitter once and she was a friend of ours ↑ |
| Name: mother2five | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 12:43 PM |
| I still defr. think if your going to pay anyway.....fix them up....pay elsewhere ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 4:58 PM |
For those who think i will be paying more at a daycare that's not nessicarly(sp) true. I'm not married, so i'm a single family income, and I pay all my expenses with my wages.
Rent, electric, health insurance, ect. I was looking online for child care serives in Mass and they go by a sliding scale fee, through this organiztion called Child Care Choices Of Boston.
If i read it correctly, I fall below the min requirement and I *think* I maybe eligalbe for a vocher, I maybe reading it wrong, but I know for a fact I wouldn't be paying 100-120 a month for child care services. ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 5:02 PM |
Yes, I trust my mom with Christian but I use to work at a daycare and they are some awesome ones out there.
To honest i'm not afrarid of putting Christian in daycare. I dunno...it doesn't worry that much now that he's a bit older. ↑ |
| Name: JILLW | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 5:05 PM |
100 PER MONTH! that is dirt cheep I say pay the woman and hope she will keep watching your kid. honestly it is her money your owe it to her, and if paying in a lump sum is too hard them pay her 25.00 a week. who cares why she is bugging you for it it is owed to her, so you don;t have the right to determine why she "needs" it or not.
I would me thanking my lucky stars for her. I pay 200.00 per WEEK to daycare, so I would give anything to find a loving palce for Kendra to go that only cost 100 per month. hell even when my mom was watching her I had to pay 100.00 per week. ↑ |
| Name: Kyra.G | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 5:31 PM |
WOW! you only pay your mom $100 a month, I pay my mother - n - law $120 a week. And just in my opinion you should be lucky you only pay $100 a month with your son getting family care. I know there are some good daycares out there but they are 1 in a million and hard to find. I offered my mother - n - law $150 for Sadie and $100 for Jaxen a week only because Jaxen goes to school and she only gets him for 3 hours a day. Over here where I live the cheapest you can get daycare is $250 - $300 a week and thats outrageous.
But you sould be more responsible with paying your mother she is offering care to your child and dont say she dosent work because she works for you. You are her source of income and you (boss) should be responsible when it comes to paying your mother (employee). I know you might not see it that way but you should.
IDK just my opinion. ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 6:21 PM |
JillW- You're in the majority, 100 is dirt cheap. I can't imagine paying 200 a week. You're lucky that you can actually afford to do that. I'm not debating on if i owed to her. But the way she came at it was out of the blue.
Like I said only twice I haven't paid he in full. Even then, i paid her by getting her hair done, which she was cool with and the other time I took her to buy some pants.
But when she apporached me like a bill collector it threw me off. ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 6:28 PM |
Kyra.G-I'm not her employer i'm her DAUGHTHER first and foremost. And that's where the emotion comes into play. And you're right I don't see it as a employee-boss thing, because that's not the atmosphere at all.
WOW! you only pay your mom $100 a month, I pay my mother - n - law $120 a week. And just in my opinion you should be lucky you only pay $100 a month with your son getting family care. I know there are some good daycares out there but they are 1 in a million and hard to find. I offered my mother - n - law $150 for Sadie and $100 for Jaxen a week only because Jaxen goes to school and she only gets him for 3 hours a day. Over here where I live the cheapest you can get daycare is $250 - $300 a week and thats outrageous.
But you sould be more responsible with paying your mother she is offering care to your child and dont say she dosent work because she works for you. You are her source of income and you (boss) should be responsible when it comes to paying your mother (employee). I know you might not see it that way but you should.
IDK just my opinion. ↑ |
| Name: Kyra.G | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 6:28 PM |
| Well I wouldnt have taken her shopping at all I would have gave her the money and let her do what she wanted. And if I was your mother I would be asking also, not trying to sound rude but she is doing you a favor by watching your child not alot of family can watch their grandchildren and there is a majority of family members that wont watch them at all. Just pay on time and then you will not have her asking you. If your boss didnt pay you wouldnt you ask? ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 6:29 PM |
| Sorry didn't mean to leave your post orginal post onto my reply. ↑ |
| Name: Kyra.G | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 6:37 PM |
Well you should, just because you are her daughter dosent mean you can just skip paying her for her care for YOUR child. When I drop off my daughter in the morning I tell my Mother -N-Law what I expect from her during the day with taking care of my child and I pay her to do that. On the weekends or after I pick up my daughter is a different story she is no longer the babysitter she is my mother - n - law. You can not expect special treatment from your mother just because you are her daughter she is taking care of YOUR child because she wants to and you pay her so she dosent have to work.
Must be nice to just skip a payment here and there for anyone that watches your child. I know I would be making a big deal about it If I was in the same situation as your mother because thats money for the time she took out of my day to watch her grandchild when she could have been doing something else.
And you think putting your child in daycare you are going to be able to skip payments or take them shopping? I dont think so they will drop your child quick for someone more responsible with their payments. ↑ |
| Name: Randi | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 7:02 PM |
How often is she watching your son? At $25 a week that is extremely good! You have missed two payments now of only $100. How do you think you can afford daycare? There are no breaks if you can't afford it, the hours are less flexible and they charge a whole lot more. Even if you were to find a reasonable rate, do you really think your son would get the one on one time and same quality care he does with your mom? NO WAY!
I can totally understand where your mom is coming from. Sure, it's not really your sisters business, but your mom doesn't work and she STILL has bills to pay. How would you feel if your boss couldn't pay you one month? You might not think it's the same, but it is. ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 7:02 PM |
Kyra- I think you are putting way too much on this then you should be.
There are thing you've said and it doesn't have anything to do with my situation if you knew my mom. You think you how our lives goes down and how our days are spent but you don't. I can*try* to make you understand but I won't put anymore of my life's business out there so you can criticize. And another thing, more than once you have told me to be more responsible. I am. You don’t know me enough to say I am not. All you know is I didn’t pay my mother in full twice and that make me irresponsible. No it doesn’t.
I had not problem with your post pervious to this one. I took what you said and considered it. But the one above I didn’t much care for I just wanted to put my thoughts and feelings out there. ↑ |
| Name: Kyra.G | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 7:27 PM |
I am not saying you are a irresponsible person in general you just are with your payment plan you have with your mother. And no I dont know the situation between you and your mother but it all comes down to what the post says.
IDK some people just have different opinions and that is why I always end my post with IMO. I dont expect people to follow my ways of life or how I live. I chose to have children when I could afford them and well thats just my life. I know alot of people do not live the life I do and I know people make mistakes with debt but just understand that you actually have it good in 3 ways: you have your mother watching your child, you only pay her $100 a month and she isnt strict about when you do pay. But the little you do pay her is her means of income and thats really important to people.
Answer this - What would you tell your boss if he didnt pay you for 1 week because he couldnt? What would you do? Honestly. ↑ |
| Name: Kyra.G | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 7:28 PM |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 8:23 PM |
Randi- She watches him Mon-Fri
How do you think you can afford daycare?-
I was looking online for child care services in Mass and they go by a sliding scale fee, through this organization called Child Care Choices Of Boston. If i read it correctly, I fall below the min requirement and I *think* I maybe eligible for a voucher.
Do you really think your son would get the one on one time and same quality care he does with your mom? NO WAY!-
I’m not really worried about that. I use to work in a daycare and I think it has its benefits. I wish all the daycares were like the one I worked for. Even if there wasn’t one on one, they weren’t left out. ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 8:27 PM |
Kyra your posts and wording irks me and I understand its your opinion and I'm going to leave it at that.
I won't answer the question. Because I feel its not a good comparison to my situation. ↑ |
| Name: Opheiliamath | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 8:33 PM |
But I would say this, thank you everyone for their input.
I was (still am) was looking at it from an emotional, mother-daughter outlook. Not an business stand point. That's where my mistake came in. I need to treat it like a REAL daycare/sitter position. ↑ |
| Name: mother2five | Date: Mar 11th, 2008 8:53 PM |
I THINK ALL OF YOU HAVE COMPLETLY MISSED HER POINT!!!!
She is not arguing over having to pay, she knows she has to pay. It's the way it came about, and I understand what you all are saying that it shouldn't have or wouldn't have come about at all had she paid her in the first place......but did you read that she was a bit short on cash????? We've all been there at on point in time. Just put yourself into her shoes for one moment and try to understand what she's saying.......I guess I can understand because I've been there, I know what it's like when a family memeber wants to live off of you, yes she does watch the child BUT this is her mother, not a boss/employee situation, she should have some love and compassion for her situation!!!!! ↑ |
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