|
My mum keeps complaining because I don't "eat healthy" but the thing is, I eat fine! She keeps ragging on me because I don't drink milk, i'm sorry, I hate the way it tastes more than anything! And now I am getting so aggrivated with her because not only that, she is a smoker, and she smells so bad all th time, and I don't want her to pick up my daughter when she's born! And now I don't know who to have in the delivery room with me because I feel uncomfortable with anyone other than my husband!! And he is in Iraq right now! I am stressing over these little things.! Oh and now I have nightmares about the epidural, how painful it will be... i am going crazy! I'm sorry if this seems selfish but can someone console my worries? they are driving me INSANE! Oh and my mother said if she is breech that i should try the ECV and I don't want to! I said I'd rather get a c-section! But she says, "oh c-sections are horrible you don't know what it is like to get cut there blah blah that's idiotic of you." I tried to tel her that it isn't as bad, and that I've seen what so many have posted here and on other forums, and she outright said "they lie." But the thing is, SHE'S NEVER GOTTEN ONE! She only had a hysterectomy, which is in my mind a lot worse. How can I even calmly talk to her!?? ↓
|
|
| Name: Lin-Ko | Date: Oct 26th, 2006 6:24 PM |
First of all, you need to remember that this is YOUR birth, nobody elses. You do what YOU are most comfortable with. I am having some of the same problems with my family. I just let them say their peice and then let it go out the other ear because it's MY decision on how I want to have my baby and who I want to be there.
Maybe you could sit her down and talk to her and be like "I understand and respect your concerns, but I'm going to do what I feel is right for myself and my baby and I need you to accept that." or something like that. Talking with mothers about this kind of thing is hard because they want you to do it the same way that they did it (at least my mother is like that!)
I don't know if that helps at all but yeah. Hang in there, don't let yourself get too stressed *hugs* ↑ |
| Name: melmoney | Date: Oct 26th, 2006 6:29 PM |
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.... try to stay calm. It sucks that she's nagging you so much. My MIL gets the same way and thinks she knows everything about everything when it comes to having a baby. Granted, she's had two and I've had none, but a lot has changed since then and I think I trust and believe what my doctor says more than what she says. My MIL smokes A LOT too and sometimes her breath is just soooo unbearable.
How often do you talk with your mom? Maybe try taking a break from her from her for a little bit or at least not talk as often to give yourself some emotional recovery time. Sometimes I just don't pick up the phone when my mom or MIL have been getting on my nerves. I know they mean well, but sometimes I'm just not in the mood. ↑ |
| Name: Rosie73 | Date: Oct 26th, 2006 6:30 PM |
Yikes! Your mom sounds like fun! My MIL's helpful advice about eating has been "Don't eat too much". Lin-Ko is right. This is YOUR baby and YOUR birth. If having your mother there is not what you want, then choose someone else. It sounds like your mother will just stress you out with her opinions on everything that she knows nothign about. Do you have a sister or a best friend or a cousin who could be there with you if your husband can't be? What about hiring a doula? And I hear you about the smoking. You should prepare you mother for that now. Tell her that because of the smoke, she will have to wash her hands before she picks up the baby. Forbidding her from picking up the baby is a bit unrealistic, but insisting she washes her hands is very reasonable. If she deny's that she stinks, have other peole confirm this for her!
Very best of luck to you. I hope your husband comes home safely and soon. ↑ |
| Name: daisyusa | Date: Oct 26th, 2006 6:30 PM |
Ayame, don't worry about the epidural, I felt absolutely no pain while it was being inserted. It's ok to not like milk, just make sure you get your calcium elswhere or discuss with your doc if you feel you aren't getting enough.
You're not being selfish at all, nobody wants someone smoking around a baby. And one thing is you'll be or already are getting tons of advice. The best think I can say is just listen, what you decide to do with that advice is completely up to you.
Sounds like your mom is worried about you and looking out for you, just try to take in one ear and out the other if you're not interested. Talk to her about your concerns. Have you asked your mom to be with you? Ask her not to smoke before she comes so she doesn't smell like smoke and what you expect when she is around your baby.
Feel free to rant anytime here, and Congrats! ↑ |
| Name: melmoney | Date: Oct 26th, 2006 6:30 PM |
| Oh, and always feel welcome to rant here. No matter how trivial and petty it may seem. More than likely someone else has gotten irritated over something very similar. It also just feels better to let it all out to someone who isn't going to report back to your mom and let her know what you said. ↑ |
| Name: mommyagain | Date: Oct 26th, 2006 6:45 PM |
| Wow yours sounds so much like mine did!! First of all if you hate milk dont drink it... or maybe you could add chocolate syrup or something... second the epidural you dont feel it... yes it is scary but you will not feel it. Third trying to turn the baby... go ahead and try if you want but is definiley exruciating pain and most of the time doesnt work anyways. I am not going to say c-sections are not bad they are but its all about pain tolerance... if you tell yourself over and over again you will be in misery for 6 weeks afterwards then you will but if you get up and moving you will be ok... none of it is a picnic but some how we make it through it and so will you however it may turn out tht you have your baby. ↑ |
| Name: melmoney | Date: Oct 26th, 2006 6:52 PM |
| Also, IMO you have every right to let you mom know that you do not want her in the delivery room. If there is someone else you are close to who would be a better choice then ask them. This is your baby and your delivery. The labor/delivery is all about you and what you need to make is as comfortable and memorable as possible. You need to rid yourself of as much stress as possible during that time. You need to be able to focus on the contractions and getting through it all. If you believe that your mom is just going to cause more stress than relaxation, then tell her that you'd rather her not be in there. The last thing you need while in labor is an extra source of stress and somebody who will probably be trying to tell the nurses how to do their jobs. ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Oct 26th, 2006 6:59 PM |
| Ok girl first like every one else has said this is you body and your baby every one can mind their business even if it hurts their feelings. Tell you mom thank you for her advise and let it go out the other ear, at this point ir is useless to discuss you "options" with her because she has a one tract mind. Second trust me by the time comes that you can have the epidural it will be a welcome relief. They do it during a contraction most of the time and you will hardly feel it. As far as the rest goes talk with you dr and decide what is best for you and the baby. Having a c-section is not the end of the worls. I know back in the day they used to do a big ling vertical cut, but now most women can still wear a bikini if they want and the scar will not show. ↑ |
| Name: Ayame | Date: Oct 27th, 2006 4:12 AM |
| Thanks guys! I was so aggrivated because she was driving me nuts!! And thanks for the advice very much! And also the talk about the epidural. I will really want her to wash her hands, I just don't want the baby to smell the smoke on her, but there isn't much I can do. I just want to thank you all, again. It really did help me think about what I should do etc. And the annoying this is that I have to see my mother EVERY single day! It is horrible. ↑ |
|
|
