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After seeing a few more post with very rude replies I thought it might be important to repost this with a few changes and maybe if just one more person will realize the impact of what your typing it will be worth it.........I have been on this board a little over a week. But I am a memeber at many others as well. Mainly I have only posted a few things, but I have read alot. I have come across several reponces that can be described as nothing less than rude. The whole point of these forums is for us to get together and help one another and support each other, As even I have been told there are no stupid questions and you should not be afraid to ask. I know that the whole group of could I be pregnate? am I pregnate? postings can be annoying and I know young teen mothers can be heartbreaking to most older generations. But these are the people who need to talk the most and have the most questions. They should not be responded to with rude insensitive comments like the ones recently posted. If any of the rude people would have bothered to really read Rosie's post you would have seen that regular urine test don't work with her...I myself have the same issue and I can understand not having the money for another dr's visit. I guess I may make some people mad here but several of you made the comments about Birth Control and why she wasn't on it well for one...she never said she wasn't on or using bc....two....you never know wether or not she can take or use bc......I know that with my health problems the only birth control I can use is condoms and guess what they don't always work or I wouldn't be pregnate now. Not saying I am not thrilled to be pregnate again. Maybe I am taking this a little personal but I have seen many of you jump to conclusions about people with out even bothering to be polite and ask....I have also seen even rude replies to a woman dealing with a miscarrage. Not to mention real or fake any posting by a teen needs to be handled with sensitivity. We have all made stupid decisions at one time or another but scaring off a kid that needs to talk because of their mistake is uncalled for...I know I may have just stepped on a lot of toes and made some people angry but I know none of you mean for your comments to be hurtful or to scare some one off who may really need someone to talk to...........Can we all please just try and think before we type something that could hurt someone else???? ↓
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| Name: A Mom To Be | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 11:38 PM |
| For future posts it isn't pregnate it is PREGNANT, hope this helps. ↑ |
| Name: Coartney | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 11:39 PM |
| i was going to say something but i figured since i was one of the rude replies, id keep my mouth shut on spelling lol ↑ |
| Name: A Mom To Be | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 11:52 PM |
| Spelling is of the upmost importance, esp the word "Pregnant" as this is a pregnancy related site. Sure I sometimes make mistakes but this is a problematic one. Also since I am from Australia there are words which are spelt different eg mom = mum, color = colour etc. ↑ |
| Name: angelpuff84 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 3:55 AM |
| To be honest I am highly disappointed you read this post and the only thing you can find to say has to do with my spelling. That breaks my heart...that you care more of the fact that I misspelled pregnant, than the fact that there are replies that are hurting people and scaring them away from having a place to talk. I have talked to some of the "fake post" and "teen moms" that have left this site due to the way they were treated....Just wondering but if I told you one 15 yr old girl that had posted here looking for help and was treated badly was raped would you care about her then? If I told you she considered suicide would you care ? Or would you be more worried about my spelling and grammer? Honestly I would think women about to give birth to children of their own would think what would I do or say if this was my daughter or how would I want my daughter to be treated if she was in the situation and felt she couldn't talk to me? At this point I know you all think this won't be your child but I'm sure these girls moms once thought the same... ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 4:08 AM |
| this is the second post that you have posted in two days about this, come on the only rude replys that we are giving is to the 12 year olds who are un educated and having sex with out protection who think they are pregnate!!!! lol ......... and who cant figure out who the babys daddy is!! get over it ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 4:10 AM |
| well if your daughter was on this site and speaking the way some of these girls do or acting like some of these girls do, then i would be ashamed of your self for bring up a child like this! ↑ |
| Name: angelpuff84 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 4:21 AM |
| I understand getting upset with the way some of them talk but not all of them are like that. Not only that but most don't get defensive until someone says something out of sorts. I know this is the second time I posted this I noted that in the begining. But after talking to several other girls and women that have left here due to their treatment I was really hoping to get thru to someone, anyone. And maybe these girls could get the support and guidance that they need so badly. ↑ |
| Name: spankyx0711 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 4:24 AM |
| if professional support and guidance is what they really need, then they would seek professional help. we, as members of babycrowd, do not claim to be professionals. therefore, do not expect us to give expert advice and guidance to a possibly pregnant 14 year old girl. ↑ |
| Name: angelpuff84 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 4:51 AM |
| I never said anything about giving expert advice and guidance just maybe a kind word or being there to give someone support to talk to their families or helping them understand their options. Not just telling them to keep their legs closed and get an abortion. At very least tell them your not comfortable giving them advice and tell them another place to try for help..without being hurtful ↑ |
| Name: spankyx0711 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 4:53 AM |
| we are all entitled to our opinions. and they are free to choose another message board to seek advice and support. ↑ |
| Name: A Mom To Be | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 5:20 AM |
Dear Ms.angelpuff84,
I commented on spelling so that you don't get criticised in future posts, also so that you can be taken more seriously.
Firstly don't jump down my throat about being unsupportive, you don't know me. Secondly the help that these children/teenagers need is professional, if anything they need to see a doctor first and foremost and then get referrals to other professionals. You also need to take it easy on the women on this site, they too have their luggage and are going through big changes, to me it sounds like you value a 14yr old pregnant woman over a eg 25yr old woman, NO ONE's pregnancy is more important, no child is more important than the next, HOWEVER the way that some of these individuals act makes them appear to be less immature and capable, sometimes sensitivity is not able to be used, 1. because a strong message needs to be driven home, and 2. even if it is polite due to stress and hormones people are oversensitive and try to make things out of nothing.
I am TTC, others have had miscarriages, some have just given birth others are pregnant with their first, other with their fifth, some are white, some aren't, some have a religion, some don't, who cares. But you are continuing the teen vs mature mothers debate and this hatred isnt necessary. TAKE IT EASY ON SOME OF THE WOMEN IN HERE THEY NEED HELP TOO angelpuff84.
I didnt mean to offend you, just awaken you to other issues.
Mrs A Mom To Be. ↑ |
| Name: babey_g_311 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 9:11 AM |
| Alot of those girls come on here looking for advice....and thats what these ladies are giving them, advice.....as we all know (or should know) sometimes the advice you are given is not always what you want to hear......take this for example....say a teenage girl comes on the site asking if we all think shes pregnant.....most likely thered be atleast a few girls that would say "hopefully ur not, ur too young....blah blah blah" well by saying this your letting her know that her decisions in life are dumb and someone may even say something to make her think "wow, I really have been being pretty dumb.....I better get some birth control..." that "negative advice" may have just made her life alot better even though it wasnt "supportive"..... ↑ |
| Name: A Mom To Be | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 9:24 AM |
| Amen to that babey_g_311, you said it perfectly. ↑ |
| Name: shell22 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 12:39 PM |
i agree with you angelpuff, i want to show u some support because no one else will ,everyone is so defensive and this site is very rude and totally unhelpfull,i dont usually post on this site as its so hateful and most of the time its not worth posting here because the few on here stick together and dont like to upset their internet best friends,luckily there are some much nicer forums that are friendly and u can get good advice from,
and if there are spelling mistakes im sure u can work ut what i mean,theres no such thing as nice words or any type of tactfullness of this board,its shocking when u read some of the posts,good luck angelpuff x ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 2:18 PM |
| well IMHO there are some real post form teens that need to know what to do or what if they are pregnant and I can tell you having been a teen mom that saying well everything is ok and you'll do great are not what these girls need to hear. I have said time and time again that if there is a young girl on here either wanting to become pregnant,thinks she is pragnant, or know that she is pregnant and does not know what to do the only advise that should be given to her is to see a doctor and to talk to her parents or trusted adult. We as internet strangers have no business talking to this girl or supporting her at all. She needs to be sent to talk to someone close to her becuase we can not help her nor should we try. There are decisions that need to be made that involve the adults in her life not us. Now on the other hand when there is a post form a teen mom who is pregnant and knows that she is keeping the baby and just needs advise on birth or baby stuff in general then I am more then willing to help. When I see post that are mixed in lower case and in caps and are missing a ton of letters then yes I think fake post and I move on. If you think this is rude then you need to stick around her a bit longer and you will be able to spot them too. It takes more effort the go between caps and lowercase then it does to just type something out. these people are trying to get a rise and nothing more. If they are real and legit and I was rude by calling their post a fake then I do not feel sorry because they are the ones who made it look fake. I can tell you though that I do not think that me or the other women on here have said this is fake and it ended up being real very often. Again these post are usually form girls that we have no business thrying to help anyway. I am sorry if you find this post to be rude, because it is not directed that way. ↑ |
| Name: angelpuff84 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 7:25 PM |
| This is the last you will hear from me on this subject....The only thing I ment to get across to anyone is that I understand these types of post can be difficult to deal with expecially while your dealing with issues of your own but I did not see a need to tell someone they are a whore or slut or that if they are pregnate that it would be best for them to have an abortion.....If you feel they are just posting to get a rise from others then ignore them because you end up scaring off the ones who are serious.....I am not saying you have to tell these girls it is ok or that everything will be fine but you can say what you want in a nicer way an example if you think they did something dumb say that don't call them a slut.....if you noticed in the orginal post I not only mentioned teen moms but there were even comments made to a mother who had just miscarried that really didn't need to be said when she was hurting as bad as she is...and I will also mention that again that I have met a few other "adult" women have been treated badly here because they didn't fit in with a select few. I have been on the recieving end of comments like this..not on this site...but that gives me a greater need to say something. And again I will say Even if you don't want to give advice to some teen the least you could do is point them in the direction of another site or somewhere they can get what they are looking for instead of berating them with harsh comments ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 7:31 PM |
| I do point them in the direction of a parent or close adult. That is the same direction that every adult on here should be pointing them. Not to another website. This is not the place for them to seek advise until after they know that they are keeping their child! I will not support a girl asking what she should do and I do not think that anyone else on here should either. I do agree that they should not be called names and I my self have never done that. I have not seen it done either, but I do stay out of many post like that. ↑ |
| Name: mommie2b_bre | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 11:48 PM |
| well im a young expecting mother and i for 1 am only on here for advice and help.its just funny to me that most of you are married and have children and the only reason you are here is to point out someones flaws or to laugh at those who are younger and much more naive instead of giving us your knowledge and wisdom on these types of subjects.some girls cant get that support from home and look up to some of you older women.i see many of you stress that some girls are uneducated but reading some of your replys and the way you actually sit behind your computer and "argue"with 14 year olds only goes to show how uneducated and childish you really are. ↑ |
| Name: Kristy84 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 11:54 PM |
| Hmmm...mommie2 be I understand where you're coming from, but don't point the finger, if you don't want it pointing back at you. Most of us aren't married and many of us are struggling with our own issues. I'm 22 years old and had my baby 3 weeks ago. I have been on this board since I was 8 weeks along. During this time, I have seen many girls post messages to instigate arguments. I would hang around here a little more before you start to judge us. If you came here for advice, then stay and get some. It seems like you're acting just like the people you're criticizing; don't post comments just to incite a response b/c that is as you would say very "childish" ↑ |
| Name: mommie2b_bre | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 12:03 AM |
| well kristy...i never once judged any of you.who am i to judge but hey if the shoe fits wear it.i only pointed out some methods of guiding as some may call it.you like many others are dealing with our own issues but how can you down talk someone when your life isnt all peaches and cream either.and im giving you a view of how a young person feels when she hopes to have mature women give her advice but all she gets someones nose tooted up at her.and im not criticizing any of you at all its not my job.all im saying is have some compassion for others.now how you take my reply is your business but if someone feels a 14 years old is wrong for haveing sex then tell her in a respectable way..your grown theres no need to be rude and disrespectful. ↑ |
| Name: mommie2b_bre | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 12:10 AM |
| and i apologize to any of you whom i may have offended in any way ↑ |
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