Alright, I know most of the people who post on this forum are girls or older women, but you are exactly the kind of people I am seeking advice from. I need advice from a female, and have a long story to tell.
The neighbor girl and I grew up together since we were babies.
She is 2 and a half years younger than me, very very pretty, petite, bright and bubbly, her parents pride and joy.
Shortly after she turned 12, and I was 14 and a half, she began to have different feeligs for me than just a friend. I still thought of her as a lil sister at that point, and was interested in girls closer to my own age, but she secretly wanted me as her very first boyfriend, her friend told me.
I appraoched her, talked with her about it, and realized I really did like her. A month later she told me she had seen her older brother and girlfriend together, and thought we should make love. I was nervous as was she, but we did it together for the very first time up in her tree house. after we were done, we both felt very akward and couldn't look at each other in the eyes. I walked out, hugged her akwardly, and didn't talk to her for the next month or so. I was way to nervous, and she was very hurt thinking I had left or just used her, which was npt my intention. I was just very young and nervous.
She the youngest girl in her 7'th grade class, and I was a freshman in highschool. So she was in junior high, and after a month, she came to me after school and her cheerleading practice and, and told me shyly she thought she was pregnant, and that I would the dad.
My mouth dropped open and went dry. I almost fainted at the shock, and she started crying. Then she asked what we going to do. I stopped shaking, took her hand and said the best we can.
I then asked her if she still wanted me as her boyfriend, and she said she never stopped wanting me as her boyfriend. i then kised her and held her tight.
We told our parents, and ofcourse they wee very mad, but they simmered down after a while. They then did something that shocked us. We live in a state that legally allows young teenagers to marry with exceptions like ours. Shortly after my girlfriend turned 13, they married us to each other. By then, our baby daughter was already like 4 months old.
A half a year later when I turned 16, I got my license, and took me and my new young wife out for a picnic. I blindfolded her, and told her I was taking her to a secret spot. I then took her blindfold off, and was by a cliff overlooking the lights of our small city. I had a picnic, and blanket and candles, tent all set up there. i told her than this area was my secret place I had come to as young boy to build forts and stuff, and now it was hers to. She smiled and came into my rms then. we danced the rest of the night, and spent the night there together.
I just turned 17 now, and she is 14 and 4 months now. She is 5 months pregnant again, because we neglected to use protection again.
i have to admit that the stresses of our married life our now getting on us. I work full time doing construction during the day, while she homeschools and is a stay at home mother. We love each other very much, but there are lil things that are beginning to bug us alot about each other. I get annoyed that she doesn't always pick up and clean our garage apartment we have rented from her parents. I then come home, and end up picking up all sorts of things from toys, baby rattlers, diapers you name it. I am a neat freak, and can't stand clutter. She is to, but seems way to tired to clean up when I get home. I am to, but feel that I have to.
She gets annoyed with me that we don't spend as much time together at night as she would want to. I always want to go to bed early, because I wake up at 5 in the morning, and work till 5 at night. She wants more cuddlng time together, and to be intimate more than we have been.
I do love her and my daughter, and unborn child very much, but am worried that these lil frusterations would build into somethingelse later. How do I stop it from building into somethingelse, and how do I turn my young marriage into something very special and exceptional? How do I make my young pretty bride feel like the lil princess she is?
My favorite times are when I am holding her and my daughter in my arms. ↓
|
|
| Name: nicole76108 | Date: May 7th, 2008 1:47 AM |
Print this out and give it to her. If you cant seem to find the time to tell her in person write her a note. Sometimes its easier for men to express there feeling through notes rather then talking. Because if you were talking you would forget to mention the little comments at the end that just wraps it all together to prove that you love her.
That is what my husband does. When I see a note I get all excided because I know its something personal that he is sharing. Rather it bad or good he is still sharing in his own comfortable way. :)
Good Luck!! And congrats on the kiddo's! ↑ |
| Name: mako6940 | Date: May 7th, 2008 2:13 AM |
I do want to be the best husband and daddy I can be. My daughter is a totaly daddy's girl, and the next one will be to:) although, we will make sure we don't have anymore children for a long time again though.
that is the best idea I hadn't thought of before to write her a note, and express my love to her, and our lil family, that we will always be together.
thank you. ↑ |
| Name: nicole76108 | Date: May 7th, 2008 2:22 AM |
| no problem. I something that works for us so I just thought I would share with you. You will be fine. Its obvious how much you love your lil family. Im sure she will see that to. :) ↑ |
| Name: mako6940 | Date: May 7th, 2008 2:37 AM |
What do I do with her increased need for intimacy, and to make love all the time, of which most of the time I am to tired to. then if I don't make love, she thinks I don't love her then and becomes very moody and upset lately..
Yes, I do love my lil family with all my heart, and am doing my best for them. I know they love me to. ↑ |
| Name: nicole76108 | Date: May 7th, 2008 4:07 AM |
| Maybe she just wants alittle attention. Plan a day for just you and her. Or Stop and get some flowers on your way home one day, they dont have to be expensive. Just the fact that you did it will mean alot. Us pregnant woman tend to get alittle needy. :) Just bare with her she is probably just emotional. I used to do the same thing with my husband with my son. He would say no and I would roll over and cry thinking that I wasnt good enough or that he wasnt attracted to me anymore. Its all apart of the pregnancy it will go away soon. ↑ |
| Name: ..RoSey.. | Date: May 7th, 2008 6:17 AM |
| lol wow.. I dont wanna be rude.. but someone get me a bucket LOL ↑ |
| Name: DaisyUK-US | Date: May 7th, 2008 7:47 AM |
Wow, I think it's great that you really took responsiblity for your family. I agree with Nicoles idea of printing out your topic or writing a loving letter to her. Or maybe on a day that you are off, have a heart to heart talk with her. She may open up to you as well. One thing you have to remember is she has a young toddler to look after as well as being pregnant. That is very draining. Also, I can clean my living room up 10 times a day and still have to clean it up before heading off to bed. So when you have your chat, suggest that you clean it up together.
I have a toddler, a teenager, and I'm currently pregnant and there are days I don't get the dishes done because I'm just too tired. My hubby pitches in where he can at the moment and he always puts our toddler to bed so I can relax a bit in the evening. He also does his baths. That is a huge help for me even though I'm at home all day and he is at work all day.
We also don't get all the intimate time we would like either but that comes with the territory of having children and a husband that works all day. However, my husband always makes me feel loved and special. The first thing he does is grabs us all and gives a big family hug and then he gives a big hug and kiss and asks me about my day. He says thank you for all the meals I cook and takes note when I have the house really clean, so again, it means alot when he notices.
Sometimes we go to bed at 7pm and hang out watching a movie. Our toddler usually goes to bed about 8 anyway so it's a nice winddown time.
You both should make a list of what you expect from each other and then talk about each one and note which ones you can do, which ones you can't do and which ones you have to compromise on. I've been married to my husband for just over 5 years now and our marriage keeps getting stronger just as yours can too. You just have to work at it. It can be like a classic car that's covered in rust and has just part of an engine. It takes a lot time and patience and one thing for sure, it will never be perfect but it can be perfect for the 2 of you.
Sorry for the long winded run but I really do wish the best for both of you and your 2 babies. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: May 7th, 2008 2:14 PM |
I'm with Nicole, print it out and give it to her.
Also remember that being pregnant can be exhausting, and having to take care of a baby on top of that, and trying to keep on top of the cleaning can really wear you down; try to make that extra effort for cuddle time as it can be very lonely being a SAHM. Congrats on your new baby. ↑ |
| Name: marco3502 | Date: May 7th, 2008 7:03 PM |
Thank you on congrats for our new baby.
I understand what you are all saying, and I do try to understand what it is like for her, and especially as young as we both are, 17 and 14.
I would like to explain to her my exausting day as well, and have her understand about why I am tired as well, but sometimes she just gets so moody and short, I can't get a word in. Maybe, that's where cuddle time, and intimacy(love making) together can relax the both of us and bring us closer together.
I will print this out, and leave it for her, along with another note telling her how much I really do love her, and our kids, and how much I love them being in my arms. ↑ |
| Name: cherry Girl | Date: May 7th, 2008 9:43 PM |
| wow I felt like I was reading a book. That is so awesome of you that you stood up like a young man and took care of your wife and baby. I hope things work out in your best interest and you guys have a great life together. I am sure times will be hard being as how you started so young I am sure you will fill like sometimes in life like you guys are missing out on things that you can't do becuase you are young parents and you just have to stick together thru thoes tough times. Good Luck. ↑ |
| Name: nicole76108 | Date: May 7th, 2008 11:48 PM |
| I know :) He is a very stand up guy. Keep all of us updated on how things turn out. ↑ |
| Name: mako6940 | Date: May 8th, 2008 12:25 AM |
Thank you very much, and I am trying to be one.
I have a couple of other questions I'd like to ask from a girl's prespective. there small, but still nagging me.
Alot of times when I come home, our small garage apartment is absolutely filled with girls from my wife's former cheerleading squad, and other friends from her old class. I can hear them chattering with my wife, playing with our daughter, looking at the small bump in my wife's tummy, but when I walk in, they all just get quiet, smile and say hi to me. When I go into our bedroom, then they start chattering again.
Also, I think my wife is intimated and insecure that I have former friends in my class,(who are girls) that I still talk to. there's not many, and they are all JUST friends, but they are between 16 and 18. I think she gets nervous, insecure, and scared that I would leave her for one of them, because they are my age. She said they look at her like she is my lil sister, instead of my wife, lover. How would I make her understand, I'd never leave her and what we have for anything? ↑ |
| Name: nicole76108 | Date: May 8th, 2008 2:49 AM |
In MY opinion I think the chitter chatter your talking about is just what girls do. Its a girl thing you will just have to deal with that for the rest of your life :) There is something about when a man walks into a room that screws up the whole talking process. Who knows they may have been talking about periods or vaginal discharge and lets face it do you really want to hear about that? lol
Then as far as the jealousy issue. I dont know how things really are from either side of this one. So my best response is to just make sure you show how much you love her while they are around. That should prove it to her. Im not saying have sex on the couch while all of ya'll watch a movie :) Just kiss her from time to time and when you go to the kitchen ask her if she wants anything to drink etc etc. You get the idea. That way your wife and your "girl" friends know that she is always your #1 priority no matter what. ↑ |
| Name: mako6940 | Date: May 8th, 2008 5:31 PM |
Well, it's not like I hang out with those other girls. They are just old friends I see everynow and then like at the store, movies or something, when my wife and I are together.
My wife and her friends are very very chitty chatty. I can barely get a word in myself sometimes.
I usally chum with my old soccer buddies, and do guy stuff with them.
I started this post asking for advice, right around the same time we decided to due the test to see if we were going to have a boy or another girl, and the doctor said we were having another girl. I love my girls very much, but am nervous of being outnumbered 3 to one. I want my all american boy someday to. ↑ |
| Name: DaisyUK-US | Date: May 9th, 2008 8:26 AM |
| I'm in the opposite boat, I have 2 boys plus my hubby. I know you will love you little girls no matter. All that matters is that your babies are healthy. I had a miscarriage nearly 2 years ago and it has taken us this long to get pregnant again. I had to come to a realization that my 2 boys may be the only ones I am meant to have. I guess what I'm getting at is that your 2 little girls may be the only the children you are blessed to have and try not to wish or want something that you don't have or can't have. I know you're grateful for what you have and it's hard not to want that little boy but you are far more blessed than many others. I pray all works out for you and your family and you should be very proud of how far you guys have come along. ↑ |
| Name: mako6940 | Date: May 9th, 2008 4:07 PM |
Well, we'd like to someday have one more child, but only at an older age than now ofcourse. We were thinking like another 5 to 6 years. If she weren't able to get pregnant again, ofcourse I would be just fine with my the two lil girls that I do have. She is ofcouse pregnant with one right now, but the other is a total daddy's girl. She runs into my arms everyday yelling, DADDY, DADDY, and cuddles with me. She has a cute lil face, just like her mama. We'll be fine, and even if we have another child, but it's not a boy, but another girl, I would still be happy contended, even though I'd then be outnumbered 4 to one. I know my girls will love me just as much as I love them to.
I just thought it'fd be awesome to have a lil boy to teach baseball, soccer, how to get dirty, rough house together, everything a father and son do together. I thought about turning one of our daughters into a lil tom boy, but my wife would never hear of that. She wants them to be girly girls, like she is. Either way, I would be very happy though.
My father in law constantly reminds me that at my wife's current age, she is still his lil girl, and if I ever hurt her, god better protect me. I never intend to hurt her anyways; she's part me me now. I know how he feels though, i have my own daughters now, and I beginning to feel that overprotectiveness a father has for his daughters already. ↑ |
|
|
