The purpose of the sponsorship is firstly to stop you when you call for help, so you have a voice of reason, and secondly being the one to whom you are accountable, which is for your benefit (like the behavior police). They are not there to call you a failure or to judge you. It's a wonder you haven't completely pooped out energy-wise (literally collapsing) with the years of living that way and the stress of kids, job, and divorce. Just the fact that you've posted here and have attended the meetings says a lot about your desire to really change. That's a big hurdle to overcome even admitting you "have a problem." I do agree you must look to God and truly turn over your cares to Him, but you must believe in your heart you can change. Do it for yourself, not your kids, and not because of what others might think. Do you have health insurance to pay for medical care/professional counseling? Some medications help because eating disorders are always caused by some underlying psychological reason and are associated with anxiety/depression, OCD, PTSD, etc. Even if it's just due to body dysmorphia, counseling can be an integral part of getting well also.
I'm sorry if this didn't help because you wanted more practical advice, but all I know is for you to continue with 12-step and also go for med/psych help. I will be praying for you. Take care. ↑ |
