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Name: Nicolaaa [ Original Post ] Im a SAHM poster.... My best friend Carina has lost so much weight recently and hasnt been eating at all. Sometimes she will just eat a banana or a pear but she never has a meal. She makes excuses like she'll go and see a teacher or she feels sick. It's breaking my heart seeing her waste away. I honestly don't know what to do....Something IS up with her. She was always VERY slim anyway, but now you can see the bumps in her spine when she bends over and I hate hugging her as she is so bony. I don't know how to approach this at all. Last week we got our year books and she said "Gosh Nikki, You've lost so much weight. You are so lucky" LUCKY? That hurt me...she doesnt need to lose weight at all...She is tiny. She fits now into uk size 6 clothes usually when we go out. How do I approach this issue without offending her or outrightly calling her anorexic or something? I dont know what has provoked her to start this. I'm so worried about her, we are in the middle of exams...she needs to eat. Please help us. thank you xxx ↓

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Name: Nicolaaa | Date: May 16th, 2007 8:08 PM

If this gets alot of help...I would like to post another problem that someone very very close to me has. ↑

Name: lynnie | Date: May 16th, 2007 8:11 PM

Ok i would sit her down and say that you are really worried about her,tell you that you are saying this as a friend! ↑

Name: Nicolaaa | Date: May 16th, 2007 8:20 PM

Something like "Come sit with me and eat your lunch" sorta putting her in the position where she has to eat maybe?? Or would that be too pressuring? And say "I'm saying this as your friend...You know that I love ya rine, but I've noticed recently that you dont seem to be eating. I'm starting to get worried." ??? I really dont want to hurt her or make her feel awkward or angry at me ↑

Name: tattudemom | Date: May 17th, 2007 12:35 AM

If she's your close friend, just be honest. Tell her you care and don't mean to hurt her, only help. Tell her you notice how thin she is, that she isn't eating, has a ready excuse, and you're worried about her health and mental well being. Ask her why it began and how she feels now. Go from there. Good luck. My aunt won't listen to reason at all. She told me years ago (in an argument) that she likes being able to control her weight (as though I was jealous). She will have moments where she'll say she has a problem and is "doing better," but it's so obvious to our whole family she is acting no differently. You'll have a tough time convincing her she's doing damage if she sees herself as healthy. Do you know her parents? Maybe you could sit with them and you all talk to her together. ↑

Name: lynnie | Date: May 17th, 2007 3:11 PM

Yeah just be honset nicola and tell her ouright you are worried about her. ↑

Name: Nicolaaa | Date: May 17th, 2007 3:22 PM

Well I rang Jane (her mum) last night and I told her my concerns and she said to leave it to her and she's going to keep an eye on her. ↑

Name: WorrriedMum | Date: May 18th, 2007 8:51 PM

Hi Nicolaaa, You are such a good friend, you are right to be worried about your friend. Could you talk to a teacher you trust and see if they can give you any advise on how to deal with this. If you know her parents maybe a word with her mum that you are worried and ask if she is okay or call a helpline to get some advise. The only thing with eating disorders is she has to want to take the help that is being offered. My daughter has anarexia, she has just been diagnosed and I had to fight her to get help but seems okay about it at the moment. Stay strong and be there for her she will need good friends like you if she is going to beat this. ↑