Well for those that replied to my last post thank you. I sat down with my daughter and let her back in the house and after 2 days she left again over the weekend and I didn't know where she was. Well when she finally called yesterday she told me to F*** OFF on the phone. When she got to the house I called her over to me and kissed her told her I loved her and allways will and smaked her across the face and told her if she ever told me something like that again I would flatten her. Well she then proceeded to call the police on me. And guess what I GOT ARRESSTED. My husband and mother had to come get me after I was booked but I had to spend several hours in jail for assult.
The cop even said this was BS but with the laws now I battered her. Needless to say Ishe is no longer here. God this is killing me all I ever did to her was everything I was her bank her taxi her sounding board and her everything. I would lie for her and protect her and now she turns on me. I still can't understand it. I am 41 yrs old and have a son in thu Army. Never had any criminal record for anything and now I am looking at jail time for finally standing up for myself and saying no you will not treat me like this. I am just so lost het
Thanks for letting me ramble.
Kelly ↓
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| Name: rain | Date: Jul 31st, 2006 3:52 PM |
| This is so difficult. Because I would have done the same thing. I would personally decide that it was worth it. You are the Mom. You should demand respect. I am so sorry this happened. But she hurt you really badly; I would if in this position look up tough love. I would go online and learn all that I could and implement this practice. I would never give up on my children, but they would learn not to hurt me. You did the right thing in my mind. This is a lesson she must learn, I am sad to say. I would stand proud! ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Jul 31st, 2006 4:20 PM |
Yep you did the right thing. heck the cop in our town said as long as you dont leave a mark its not abuse to him. I said thankyou very much thats all i had to hear. Not that i go aroud slapping my children daily. Stay touph it isnt easy to go through these years. My eldest is now 24 and getting better. however I do think girls are worse then boys. Im not looking forward to kates teenage years. maybe I'll luck out but she already can give me attitude when she wants. what did your husband say? I hope he is supporting you?? your mom as well.
Im not kidding I feel like slapping that girl myself. No you did what needed to be done. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Jul 31st, 2006 8:30 PM |
| Name: babey_g_311 | Date: Aug 2nd, 2006 3:52 AM |
| Im not the mom of a teen but Im 19....When I was around 14 I was doing that kind of stuff to my mom and now that I look back on it I feel so bad.....anyways my mom was always so passive that it encouraged me to do it more....I think by putting your foot down you were doing the right thing...coming from a teen whos been there point of view. ↑ |
| Name: Steph | Date: Oct 10th, 2006 1:46 PM |
| Kelly i understand and know how frustrated you must be however hitting your daughter will not express to her your hurt and pain .. it will only further damage your relationship and fuel her reluctance to you.. whilst i dont want to judge or offend you impulsive responses (like hitting her) when the situation arose not only has a negitive impact on your daughter but formost physically, emotionally and psychologically on yourself. if i may ask have you tried all possible alternatives (by this i mean strategies such as a getting a third party envolved third party that your daughter will listen to but also someone you are close with who can have the role as an immediator between the two of you to at least reach a breaching point where you can communicate eg. someone mentally strong) i do truly believe you want the best for your daughter ... maybe suggest instead of force her to come home and let her do this in her own time as eventually every teen reaches a point where they will turn around and examine there path or direction and realise friends come and go but your family is always there for better or for worse hopefully sooner rather than later .. goodluck x ↑ |
| Name: paulus | Date: Oct 10th, 2006 2:26 PM |
| If you think smacking your child across the face is standing up for yourself you are wrong. Look at what it got you. You said you would lie for her and do anything to protect her. Maybe that is the problem. Let go and let her make her mistakes. She is 18, not 13. ↑ |
| Name: Steph | Date: Oct 12th, 2006 2:10 PM |
| well said paulus! i know that i learned most from my own mistakes.. now i am in my third year of university and nearly completed my degree with high distinctions.. SHE WILL LEARN! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Oct 12th, 2006 4:47 PM |
| I think you should put alot of distance between you and your daughter for a long while. In fact,I would not have anything to do with her until the day SHE apologizes! I applaud you for doing what you did because she certainly deserved it! I am very sorry that you had to sit in jail for it though. I can imagine how difficult that was as well as not something you will soon forget. I would sever all ties from her until she gives you a sincere apology because what you had to go through was uncalled for and she's the one who put you there. You had to pay a dear price for doing exactly what you should have done and your daughter should have to pay a price too for putting you in such a predicament. Her cost should be losing you from her life! I am so sorry that happened to you! ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Oct 22nd, 2006 2:18 PM |
| To Momof2---Whoa!!! Isn't what your daughter did to you considered verbally ASSULTING you and then you slapping her is considered BATTERY? So, what if you put your finger out and touched her shoulder, she could have you arrested for it? Give me a break. Sorry, but I don't believe you had to stand there and take her mouth. So what if she's 18, she's still your daughter and she had no right to speak to you in such way. More than likely, since this is your first offense, you will probably get a misdemeanor with a small fine or perhaps the case may get dropped. I guess it depends on the judge. But keep in mind, your daughter is the one, who pressed charges against you. So, I wouldn't have any contact with her EVER for fear of her having you arrested again. Even if she did come and apologize to you, I would still be skeptical of her. I'm going through a similiar issue with my 13 year old son. What he needs is a good spanking but I'm afraid he would have me arrested, too. Even though, I spoke with an officer about him trying it, he said that if there are any bruises on him after an hour of slapping him, then yes, they would consider that as abuse. But, if all you did was slap her, I doubt she had any bruises from it. So, perhaps your case may get dropped. As much as she is breaking your heart, she needs a good lesson of tough love. No contact what so ever. Then when things get extremely tough for her to handle, I wouldn't lift a finger to help. I would remind her of what she did and tell her to figure it out. If she wants to act like an adult, then treat her like one. This may sound vengeful but she drew first blood. Hang in there, I'm sure your a good mom but your daughter fails to see it. ↑ |
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