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My son was ordered back into my home last September. We got into a huge fight last May on Mother's Day and called his dad to get him. I let him go thinking it would only be for the weekend. Well, the father refused to return him and kept saying our son didn't want to come back. He tried getting an order of protection against me but the judge granted me the custody of him again at least until May of 2007. Now, since he's been back, he's pain a real pain in the rear. He's become more vocal at saying what's on his mind and it doesn't matter what comes out of his mouth. A few weeks ago, he called his step-dad and me Mother #$ckers and didn't have to listen to anything we told him to do. Yeah, ok, I understand his position but I still have two other children that have no problems following the simple rules of this household, so what makes him think he shouldn't have to, too????? He is nice to our faces and then bad mouths us to his friends and dad behind our backs. That part doesn't bother me but what does bother me is how can I reward this kid with any presents for Christmas or otherwise when this is how he's going to treat us? I know he's only being nice just to see what he gets for Christmas. I really don't want to buy him plus I just can't afford much this year anyways. I'm thinking about only buying him the necessities like clothes because that is something he really needs. Yet, he will get extremely pissed off if that's all he gets. I feel like he is just using my husband and I to see what all he can get out of us. I know I'm not going to change his thinking. I have him in counseling sessions so that he may realize his behavior is completely inappropriate. I want him to understand that he has to get along no matter where he's living. I'm afraid they aren't doing any good. He still has his mind made up that when he gets a little older he's going to live with his dad. I'm not so sure that it isn't such a bad idea but when his life becomes difficult with his dad, my door isn't going to be a revolving one. I've been trying to fight legally to keep him here only to use the little window of opportunity to get him to see the broad picture of things. I guess as a 13 year old that's just not possible. He says that he has less tension at his dad's than here but he can't explain what is so tense here. I'm at a loss with him. I've tried being nice, I've tried letting his little fits roll off my shoullders but deep down inside, I don't like being used either. Also, I'm afraid if I do let him go, how will it look towards me as his mother? Does it look like I'm giving up on him? Does it look like I just don't care? I don't want this to cause me to lose custody of the other two kids. When my son was gone for awhile, this household was much more peaceful. There was no fighting between the siblings and everyone seemed relaxed. Now, we all seem to be walking on egg shells since my son has been back. Honestly, I don't want to live like this and I don't think it's fair to the other two children either. So, when you know you have a little poop living inside your house, what do you buy him for Christmas? Then, I have to be very conscious at what I do buy because if I buy really nice gifts for the other two, how is it going to look? Will it look like I favor them over my son? I would guess, yes. Perhaps, I buy all three small gifts and then have my mother-in-law give the other two the things they really want. This way may not effect my son as much because he really isn't very close to my mother-in-law. The other two are more closer. Does anyone have any suggestions? Has anyone gone through a similiar situations with their teen? ↓
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