ok well im not a mom with a kid but i am a an older friend with a younger friend that i want to help. the reason i came to this one is because there are lots of adults and also i had no other place to write it.
Well ill begin im 17 and i have a friend whos 14 that cuts herself. When i first met her. She seemed happy, fun and fullk of energy i got to no her by teaching er class' at a program im apart of called cadets there im a Petty Officer towards her and being a PO its my job to look out for my juniors (younger cadets) well ater teaching her a few class' and doing range togather i got to no her. One night at range i saw cuts on her wrist and as a PO it was my job to confront her and make sure it wasnt what i thought because holding somthing like that could get me into some trouble with the officers.
She didnt edmit it at the time but after a while when we became closer she edmited it. I didnt no what to do and wether i should tell the officers because at that point we were very close friends and now we are best friends and if i tell she will most likly never alk to me again.
one night she told me she wanted to commit suicde and for me that was taking it to far. That night i called her mother right after she said it and told her.....her mother talked to her but she told her she was only fooling around and being stupid and because of her personality her mom belived her...she stopped cutting for a while in fear of her parents finding out but she has started all over again and im scared its gonna get to the same poitn again but she wont tell me and if i tell ehr parents shell tell them shes joking and find somthing to cover it with....any advice on what i can do to help her?? she suually listens to me and i can talk her outta of it but soon il b going aaway to university or collage and maybe joinging the navy and i wont b there everyday at skewl or cadets and im scared if i leave shell get wrose?? advice on how to get her to stop or help her ↓
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| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 4:58 AM |
| Your friend needs professional help Kelly. What she is doing is psychological as well as physical. She needs to see a therapist about this A.S.A.P. Since she listens to you,maybe you can convince her to get help and offer to take her there so you can be sure she really goes. Maybe offer to go in with her even if you wouldn't mind. And you're right,you're not going to be there everyday throughout her life so that's all the more reason for you to help her get help now while you still can. She needs to understand that this is a very serious problem that isn't going to go away on it's own. If you don't help her get help then it's really only a matter of time before someone else catches on,or she injures herself bad enough to end up in the hospital,or worse. Make her get the help she needs and don't take no as an answer from her,this is far too serious! ↑ |
| Name: .kelly. | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 5:33 AM |
| yeah i want to get her help but i cant force her to do anything if i get caught y the cadet officers i can get into a lot of trouble or keeping it to myself . . . ..and i no if she does go to someone she wont talk cause ive tried it b4 she just sits there and refuses to talk the only one she talks to that i no of is me which can b a good thing but also a bad thing cause i wont b here for her everyday and forever ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 7:09 PM |
| That's an awful situation to be in Kelly. I really feel for you,I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. I have an idea for you though.Talk to her parents face to face or in a letter,whichever you are most comfortable with and tell them EXACTLY what she is doing to herself in no sugar-coated terms. Tell them if they want proof to check out (wherever it is you know she's cutting on herself). Tell them you are telling them this because she is THEIR daughter and your friend and as a good friend you wanted to do all you could to help her and that's why you are comming to them but that this is all you can do and the rest of getting her help will have to be up to them because you have done all you can do and notified them. This way your concience can be clear knowing you did everything you could for her,should something happen. If her parents choose to ignore it and refuse to believe it,well then they will get a rude awakening one day for sure. But you can rest assured that you did everything you possibly could for her. I hope this helps Kelly. :) ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 7:13 PM |
| I know you already spoke to her parents but do it again,one last time. This way your words will always be in the back of their minds even if they refuse to believe it. ↑ |
| Name: .kelly. | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 1:25 AM |
| i could try talking to her parents again but i dont want to lose her as a friend she wont commit suicide and i no that but at teh asme time i dont want to take the chance but i no she will never talk to me again if i tell i duno its a hrd situation ↑ |
| Name: .kelly. | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 2:42 AM |
| i dont understand though how someone could hurt them selves like that and ive talked to her and she says it dosnt hurt her but im sure it does.....and ive also asked her about the reason behind it and why she does it but she just says because seh wants to and sometimes it helps her release anger and things she feels and i dont want her to do it like that but if it helps her i dont no if i should tell or not its really hard ↑ |
| Name: bladerunnerx16 | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 2:56 AM |
Well if you are good friends maybe you could try asking her sometime about why she does it. Apparently, she is comfortable talking to you about different things, so maybe one day you could sit down and talk to her (I think I just repeated myself, lmao!)
there are a few different things about this
1. she could be doing it for attention (or to fit in), Ex: one of her friends started cutting and she wants to be just like them (I know of one girl who onyl strated cutting after she became friends with a new girl at school
2. she could be seriously depressed about somethign. Maybe it is something that she has been holding in for a long time and she has never told anyone (guilt about something, anger towards her parents for something.......anything) Or maybe she is too afraid to tell anyone???
.kelly. it is better to lose her as a friend than have her doing that to herself. I would definitly sit down and have a serious talk with her about it. that is probably what she needs, someone to talk to who won't judge her.
Hope this helps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: bladerunnerx16 | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 2:56 AM |
| Name: bladerunnerx16 | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 2:59 AM |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 3:06 AM |
| Kelly i think you should tell even if it means losing her as a friend. She needs help. You said yourself you won't always be able to be around for her so why not get her help the best way you can while you are there? Maybe one day she will even thank you for it. Just think about it at least. ↑ |
| Name: ConFusEd.TeEn.MoM2be | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 8:57 AM |
| hi kelly im 15 and i use to cut my self in middle school..Now with your friend cutting herself she just trying to deal with pain..and by cutting she feels like she is releasing it.she might like to just see the blood to know she is actually alive because she may feel invisible..I know this sound crazy but its true! believe me i dont think your friend is crazy i think she just doesnt know how to deal with pain properly.She needs to find a new way.. Help her threw this let her now you understand and tell her to call you or right it down when she feels the urge to cut believe me its addicting! and about suicide thats a serious matter you should ask her more about it..before telling because honestly i told a few of my bestfriends that and i would never actually kill myself but your friend isnt me! just find out as much as youy can ↑ |
| Name: tpeters | Date: Jan 10th, 2007 7:01 PM |
This is a very sensitive subject for me. I am the parent of a daughter 15 years old. She started cutting, talked about and tried suicide and had major depression. On the outside she seemed happy to those around her. She was able to disguise it well. I, through a long process, found help and I want everyone to know.
Jan. 3,4,5/07 we were in California at the Amen clinic http://www.brainplace.com/ or http://amenclinics.com/ Before we left we put her on mood stabilizer Lamictal. It started to do wonders. Glad we did not go on Prosac, the psychiatrists here in CO were guessing, no thanks.
They were actually able to see into her brain at amen Clinic and figure out what was wrong with a new type of procedure called SPECT. They diagnosed her with Mood disorder, PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), and ADHD. The doctor we saw explained everything. They are very thorough. She is already improving on the Lamictal and they gave her a prescription for some wafers that are fast acting to put under her tongue for anxiety if she needs something right away.
The reason for the CUTTING!!! The Doctor there explained that when a person cuts, it causes the body to release chemicals in the brain that actually cool down the hot spots on the brain that are responsible for racing thoughts, anxiety, etc. It has a physiological reason. They are not crazy! It is a way to self medicate! Get help now.
So get help now. There is good help available. Dr. Clements is the doctor we saw there. He is excellent with teens and it doesn’t hurt as my daughter put it that “he is hot” (good looking for any parent reading this that is not familiar with that term .LOL Tell him I recommended him.
Also, talk to your counselor or principal at school and get her (easier after diagnosis) a 504 plan. It will take so much stress off.
Let me know if I can help further. Prayer works, that is what led me to the path that has been the answer.
Tina
[email protected] ↑ |
| Name: .kelly. | Date: Jan 14th, 2007 3:39 PM |
| hey sorry it took me so long to respond ive been really busy but thank you for t he advice everyone i'll be sure to use it ↑ |
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