|
hi. im a teenager. im 18 years old and i am pregnant. i need some advice even though this may not be the right topic. my mother and my father have been split up since i was 7. well, i got used to the seperate lives and had a very good childhood, but the last 5 years i have spent living with my father instead of my mother. me and my mother are very close. well, i grew onto my dad and loved him with everything. my grandma says that i have always picked my mother over my father, but i havent. i loved my dad. he passed 2 years ago and everytime someone as much mentions his name, i break down crying, literally. i do it in resturants and everywhere else. its been two years since his death and i cant get over it. ive never seen his grave and when i leaned over the casket i couldnt let go. the whole time i was telling myself that im just gonna kiss him and go home but when i leaned over i couldnt let go. my dad has taught me how to love without money and so many things that i am thankful for and his death seems like yesterday. i cry everytime i think about having a child and hes not here. its soo sad. i love my mom and i love her to death for being her for me. but how do i get over my fathers death? ↓
|
|
| Name: jordel | Date: Oct 8th, 2005 5:21 PM |
| hi im called jordel im 19 now but when i was 17 my mom,father,nana,grandad and basic nearly my whole family got killed on a bus on the way 2 see my familys best friends but me my brother and my 3 cousins didnt go on the bus so we didnt get killed. After that it was me and my brother on our own because my cousins got fostered and i just looked after my brother he was 3 and now hes 5 and thinks im his father so if u wanna spk about more stuff im here k heather xx ↑ |
| Name: Ingrid | Date: Nov 4th, 2005 5:37 AM |
| I understand what you are going through.I am 24 and my father died 2 months ago. I could not let go of his hand when i saw him and it has been extremely hard for me to live day by day, when i found out i just wanted to die too so i could be with my dad...He was the one i always stuck too over my mum or any of my siblings, we were the closest and i feel ive lost my dad but also my friend, someone who understood me for me and loved me so much, as much as i love him.It is very hard we were just getting so close and our relationship moving to new levels as i get older and am more mature.It seems that at the ages we are, well it is just so unfair that we did not have more time as adults together..it is too young too lose a father..but also you have to be strong for your child. Even at 18 you are not too young to realise that your emotional state of mind is very important to your childs well being.But with the crying well i think that it is normal and we all grieve differently. Most people are older when their parents die so they have seen more of life and maybe can handle it better. My little sis is 20 and she has dealt with it heaps different to me. Every day i pray and miss dad i would go crazy if i didnt do certain things to keep me sane! I even talk out loud to him, it might sound crazy but if it helps me grieve and its harmless then i dont really care what others think..not that iv told them! I hope you do get better in time because now you have someone else to take care of and your dad would want you to have a good life. I dont know how many months you are but assume you'll keep da bub? have you decided? well if you do dont worry what people say, my best friend got pregnant at 16 and now my niece is 5 and her life wld not be da same without her.On the other hand there are certain things you need for a healthy bub, and one of them is that you need to look after you.. Take care... Ingrid. ↑ |
| Name: Taya Hervey | Date: Nov 28th, 2005 4:47 PM |
i no how you feel my grandma died when i was 15 and now
my father died of cancer and my mother she doesn't care
weather i live or died. i have sickle cell. and that is bad enough
but i am there for you and i am sorry for your lost and it will
get better for you. smile! ↑ |
| Name: Jess | Date: Dec 15th, 2005 9:23 AM |
| Hey, im 14 my dad died just under 2 years ago of a heart failure he was 47. you dont stop loving someone just because you learn to live without them. you have to grieve babe! in the last 3 years ive lost 9 of my favourite family members to all sorts of things so i know about grieving. dont bottle your feelings up its the worst thing to do! i spend hours out at my dads grave crying but it all helps. thoughts are with you xox jess keep smiling! ↑ |
| Name: jayde | Date: Dec 27th, 2005 7:59 AM |
| hi my name is jayde do you want to talk to me abuot it. ↑ |
| Name: Buda | Date: Jan 9th, 2006 5:17 PM |
| Name: Iesha | Date: Apr 8th, 2006 5:27 PM |
| i do understand what you are going though because my friends mum died 3 months ago and i was there when you get this message here is my emil address and we can talk more then iesha15 @hotmail.co.uk ↑ |
| Name: iesha | Date: Apr 11th, 2006 12:41 PM |
| hi it is me again i just want to say what i never said before that when i was seven year old my friend dad died. today it makes 9 year that he has been dead me and her was very best friend her dad always took us out and he made me stay at his house when i asked my mum he was a very good man and i loved him like my own dad because i do have a dad but i have never seen him before so i know what you are going though so if you need to talk just email me ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: Apr 11th, 2006 8:21 PM |
| Honey you need to be in some counseling sweetie. Be thankful that you learned some good life values from your dad that you can pass on to your child. Your dad Im sure knew how much he meant to you and that is a great thing,be proud of the close relationship you shared together. You will always have that.I believe there is something else after this life and I believe your dad is around you probably alot and knows how very much you miss him. If you have a son,name him after your dad,he would love it! But honey you should really see a counselor,they can help you through the pain you carry with you.I wish you much luck. Please dont be sad,your dad wouldnt want that for you.He would want you to be joyous of his memory and looking forward to the birth of your baby. I wish you happiness for your future!!! ↑ |
| Name: angela | Date: Apr 11th, 2006 8:38 PM |
| may i suggest counseling. this will work, it worked for me, they help you grieve, and make ya all better! i hope you feel better honey, good luck ! [3 bye ↑ |
| Name: claire | Date: Jun 22nd, 2006 7:27 PM |
| PLEASE READ THIS... The only thing in life that is a certainty is that we will all die. Celebrate your Dads life and what a great start to life he gave you by being strong for your baby. Some say it gets easier.. and yeah after 16 yrs my fathers death is easier to think about but the important days get harder.. my wedding, xmas, then my daughter came along and every important day seemed harder but when I look at her I see what a wonderful legacy he has left. Be strong for your baby and make your Dad proud. Give your baby the very best start - don't grieve for what is lost and lost years but celebrate what you have - you cannot change the past, focus, focus, focus. If it all get too much and you are thinking too much - go and do something to keep you mind occupied. ↑ |
| Name: Arabella | Date: Jul 4th, 2006 10:36 PM |
| Welll......I'm Arabella and actually only 12 and anyway...I'm at home with my mom right now and this morning at about 10am, my dad went to the doctor because he has been realy sick the last few days. I went on the computer for most of the day and I looked at the clock at 6pm and started wondering where my dad is. He called a few minutes later and was talking to my mom. I was curious where he was so i picked up another phone and listened to them talking. He is staying over night for exrays but the docter thinks he has lung cancer and even my mom says he probably does.....He probably won't be ALIVE to see me graduate or any thing! And only 10/100 (1/10)people survive lung cancer so now every time i think about him i get sad because the last thing i said to him is "I hate you.." ↑ |
| Name: dede | Date: Jul 22nd, 2006 2:13 PM |
hey,
i know how you feel im 14 years old and my father passed on july 4th of 2001 i took violence as the way out and i couldent cope with him not being here. my mom is struggling to hold on to 3 kids and work 2 jobs.. what i did as a child i cope with my fathers death is i took up a hobbie(sports) i played sports to take my anger out and the court of field.. dealing with him not being htere to watch you is hard but you have to know that you know what choices you want to take and were you want to go. you have to still love your dad and let you self cry out the pain and sorrow but you have to remember what your father did is nothing for you too do.. i did the same i couldnt stop looking at my father in his casket..but iwas 9 and to scared to touch him one last time..be held in your fathers arms is a memorie to last and forever hold on to jsut remember hold on to his touch and pray for him every day!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Jul 22nd, 2006 2:29 PM |
dede
That was wonderful advice. I believe your words will be very comforting for other in this situation. You are a bright person. ↑ |
| Name: KELLY M | Date: Jul 22nd, 2006 3:03 PM |
| It is a hard thing to do is get over a death of a parent, i had to do it twice, I lost my mom july 13 was 14 years ago, to cancer, i thought it was the hardest thing to live with out her, but as time passed i grew to live with it, 2 1/2 years ago my dad was on a kidney machine 3 time a week i had carried him to for 1 1/2 i dropped him off at 6:00 am and before 6:30 they called me at home to tell me he was at the being rushed to the ER being code blued, i got to the ER and he had died, it wasn't even a hour since i dropped him off and he was gone. i took it so hard, i help plan the furnal and i even picked out the clothes he wore from his closet,and the pretty pine caskit, i never went up to the cakit and seen him in there i only want to remember him as he was a live not in there {like i do me mom} it has been almost 3 years and as i write this tears come to my eyes thinking of him with out us, but i will not let it get me down or run my life because i have a family that need me and i'll keep go for them. if u let ur heart heal it will .. ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Jul 22nd, 2006 3:29 PM |
| I have to say, when I lost my mom, I could not seem to properly get through the grieving process. Three years later I was still falling apart, and not capable of speaking about her, or my emotions, nor listening to anyone speak about her. When it was taking over my life, I went to my physician and he sent me to a grief counselor. That helped me grieve properly and move on to the next steps. Some times we need help with this. Also I know people who go to group meetings when they have lost someone. They said it meant all the difference in the world. ↑ |
| Name: charla | Date: Jul 23rd, 2006 2:11 AM |
| what the hell please rain say that wasnt really you that post the last one and heather, what in the world??? ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Jul 23rd, 2006 2:57 AM |
| CHARLA-THAT ISNT RAIN. WE THAT ARE FROM THE SAHM FORUM SHOW UP IN RED THE IMPOSTER IS IN BLACK. SOMEONE VERY INMATURE IS MESSING WITH RAIN. OR TRYING TO. ↑ |
| Name: charla | Date: Jul 23rd, 2006 4:47 AM |
| thank you for clearing that up for me layne for a minute there i was a little conserned ok ALOT concerned!!! ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Jul 23rd, 2006 4:51 AM |
| WE GOTTA STAND UP FOR OUR BUDDY WHEN SHE'S NOT HERE. LOL ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Jul 23rd, 2006 5:30 PM |
| Thank you Layne, always an angel.- And LOL Charla, that was not me. Sorry it scared you. They are angry because the forum is now looking into their posts, and removing them. ↑ |
| Name: charla | Date: Jul 23rd, 2006 5:54 PM |
| ya know after i read a few more i realized what was going on im so sorry that yall have had to put up with this crap!!!! rain i really didnt believe it was you it just caught me off guard it came out from nowhere!!! i did push the bad taste button alot last night including the fake post about you so hopefully that will be taken off soon!!! once again im sorry this is going on but i do enjoy your posts in the sahn forum, i hope youll keep typing in there even after this all gets cleared up!!! ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Jul 23rd, 2006 6:42 PM |
| Chala, Thank you so much, there really are great moms in here, but they get fed up and leave, I feel sorry for new ones who come to chat about their situation, and they are toyed with like a mouse sometimes. But often there are wonderful people in here, who care, and give great advice. And there are great teens that come in and leave messages sometimes. It has simply gotten out of hand with some sad people, or kids. ↑ |
| Name: twostepsback | Date: Jul 24th, 2006 2:58 PM |
I'm giving all my sympathy to you.
I'm really sorry to hear.
maybe you should visit his grave on a nice day and bring something that means something to you and basically share it.
I know it sonuds strange, but its something i'd do.. but that doesnt mean its for you .
i am more attached to my father then my mother, so if anything happened to him soon i'd be unable to handle it. Years later i'd still cry.
I'd take random things to his grave, like a model car, because he loved them. I'd bring my writings and read them. I'd probably get on like he was there, which sounds foolish, but it is a way to cope.
i'm really sorry for you though. ↑ |
| Name: loveguide | Date: Aug 14th, 2006 7:00 PM |
| you cant get over it. my mom and dad died in a shooting when i was 11. i still sometimes break down in tears, its perfectly normal. what you have to do is remember the good times and think about where he is right now. if he was such a good guy, he's in heaven. be happy for him and thankful that you could have that time with him while he was alive. As for the baby... When my parents died another woman with a 1 year old baby died. She left her baby to me. I am 19 with a 9 year old son and its hard. But think of how your parents raised you and raise that kid the same way. You are a great girl and you are going to be a great mom. if you need to talk I'm always here. email me at [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: ashley michelle | Date: Aug 17th, 2006 6:48 PM |
| to answer your question... you will not ever get over it. my dad died on the 15th. 2 days ago. it will always be as fresh as it is right now. i have been dealling with my moms death for 10 years now. ↑ |
| Name: jemmap | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 11:12 PM |
| you will never get over it ↑ |
| Name: blueandgold | Date: Sep 12th, 2009 7:34 PM |
| hi. im 13. when i was 8 i lost my father because he commited suicide. everytime i think about him i break down and start crying. and i want to forgive him for the awful sin he has commited but i cant. and my moms starting to date a lot and i no my father wouldnt be happy but everytime i tell my mom that she just says it was his choice to die. and i no how ur feeling because i cant stop thinking about it. everything i do and go reminds me of him. it horrible. ↑ |
|
|
