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I just had a little girl and I am so in love with her father that I cannot stand it. He still has a relationship with his ex's family and her daughter that refers to him as daddy because she hates her real father not to mention he wants nothing to do with her. I think that it is great that he is still connected to this little girl especially considering that her mom got into speed and lost interest in her daughter as well. Well as of my second month in pregnancy his ex's family which take care of the little girl started calling more often about him babysitting the little girl. never in the previous ten months of us dating did they call about babysitting or anything for that matter. Than they started attacking me that I did not like the little girl and he started attacking me. Long stroy short he ended up getting back together with her mom that lasted about a week before she took off again. We talked about it briefly and he kept trying to hold my hand and even had the locks changed on his apartment and gave me a key. Why would he give me a key if I live an hour away and our daughters stuff is all pretty much at my place. Why would he be doing this? There is this other girl too, and she just recently put up pictures her website of him and her when a group of them went camping about eight months ago and that is the only picture, and then she has three pictures of her with my daughter- is this all just freak'n creepy or am I just over reacting? ↓
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| Name: sid | Date: Feb 1st, 2007 3:40 AM |
| Name: marija | Date: Feb 1st, 2007 9:08 AM |
yes sid....that is creepy,
How did you know about her website?...It looks like she is trying to stamp you out and be replacement mother and gf, most definitely if SHE was the one who directed you to her website...even worse, your boyfriend!!!
Do you live with your bf?...and you are pregnant and already have a girl together?
Do you like the little girl?...is it a problem with your bf being daddy to her?...(sorry about all the questions...im just a little confused )
cause i kinda see that as great...if he is the only constant in her life and still wants to be,... considering he has broken up with her mother and is NOT the bio-dad, that is taking on alot of responsibility for a man that can simply walk away!!!
on the other hand.......
the sceptic in me also can see another view...the not-so-good side...is he still attached to the little girl...BECAUSE of the mother...because he seemed to throw away, you and your daughter ...at what seems like a drop of the hat...to go back with her for a week!!!!!...far too easy!!!
the little girls family (if we go with scenario number 1) could be scared that, you and your bf's kids may override their own daughters child...therefore they maybe trying to keep the bond up.....either assure them there is no problem or inform your bf there is a problem...whatever action you take do it now!....you are only making more issues if you leave it to fester!
the key thing is just a front...his little placebo for you...pretend hes showing you, you can trust him because hes giving you his key...yet at the same time knowing you WONT just drop by...your an hour away...would you consider showing up to his place unannouced if you were to visit?....i know i would call so i dont waste the time there and back!!
The man you are so terribly in love with....is a wanker.
Sorry.... i think there are far too many women in his life....outside the two that should matter, you and your daughter!
I wish you all the luck in the world....but i really think you need to get your priorities in order...yourself and your children.
If you really want things to work out....compromise about the little girl ,move in together...and get rid of all other women in his life!!! ↑ |
| Name: sid | Date: Feb 1st, 2007 5:48 PM |
| We lived together for a while and he had proposed to me, but there was just something missing, like he waited a month to get it sized, does this sound like a normal thing that a guy would do- wait so long to get the ring sized or does it sound like he had doubts or ashamed of the ring he bought for me or what? The little girl of his ex has a lot of the same issues that I had growing up and when I got pregnant I just knew before I even skipped my period- I already had that feeling that something was happening and I started getting really really emotional- which just isn't me to start crying over little things. As for the chick display she is on myspace and I started getting strange emails from a third party to check out her site, but at first it had been just little hints to see here and see there like puzzle clues, as if this person was just waiting for me to open my emails the person would delete the made up profile, I FEEL LIKE I AM GOING INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I canceled my myspace account, I just do not have time for this kind of crap and I am so confussed. And he is apart of his own little girls life too. the ex's family he has know since we were all in the eighth grade, I left the town for about 71/2 years, by that point the two had been married for almost three years and then divorced for about 31/2 years when I met them again. As far as him getting back with his ex, he did not seem too hurt when he told me what had happened as if he knew it was going to happen but still gave it the benefit of the doubt. Could it be that he needed final closure away from her even as her friend? And what the hell is up with this other chick, I asked him about it and he told me that they are just friends and that nothing happened, but than why would she display pictures like that- one with him and than three of herr with my daughter tight after, I told him that I found it to be disturbing and he saw nothing wrong with it, does that mean that he is not into her or that he is? ↑ |
| Name: you_dont_know_me | Date: Feb 2nd, 2007 9:52 AM |
| hey well i was just wonderin if someone can help...im 15 and just had a baby girl well shes 7 weeks now shes called miley and is gorgous anyway i love her but i reli am struggling to connect with her its getting a little bit better but i am scared we wont have a relationship because i can feed her and then leave her until her need feed without feelin the need to pick her up and cuddle her and i dont know whats wrong because when i was pregnant i was realy excited after i got over the shock if anyone has any advie that would be great ↑ |
| Name: sid | Date: Feb 2nd, 2007 2:32 PM |
you-don't-know-me
you are going through post partum depression, is there anyone to help you out with this, to teach you that a bond between your child isn't just as automatic as most people assume. Your child is not just born automatically loving you, they learn to love you by trustig you. This is a bond that is formed during feeding, playing, cuddling, or just plain sitting next to her when she is sleeping and awake. And the same goes for you, you are not just automatically going to love your child the moment that they are born, most people know that they love their child because society and our environments have taught us that is what is right. The love is formed between children and parents by the constant need that they diplay of and our committment to take care of them no matter what. Post partum can get pretty serious though, it is something that you need to speek to someone who can help you mentally keep a good focus on yourself and your daughter such as a doctor. ↑ |
| Name: you_dont_know_me | Date: Feb 2nd, 2007 2:40 PM |
| thank you sid and im sorry for your situation i hope it gets better for you i hope you dont think badly of me i mean i obviously love my little girl its just alot harder than i first thought but i not going to give up on her ↑ |
| Name: sid | Date: Feb 2nd, 2007 3:32 PM |
| It's a lot harder, I know, it does not matter what age that you are. By a disposable camera and a cheap note book- these help. I started taking pictures of my son shortly after he was born and started drwaing and writing in the journal- most of it was just random thoughts ans scribbles- but I think that the pictures are what helped the most. So many people started asking me if I had any photos of him awake and I would say well when he is awake I am too busy to take pictures- but as he got older and the smiles got bigger (not just gas) so did the picture collection, it's something that he tottaly loves now, he is such a camera ham-lol ↑ |
| Name: you_dont_know_me | Date: Feb 2nd, 2007 3:54 PM |
| lol i like that idea i think she has got a virus at the moment so i need to go the doctors tommorow but i wish someone would have told me how much harder the reality was and how worrying it is that she could pick up anything so easily i think the thing that bothers me most is that i am completely responsible for her and i feel realy over protective is this a normal thing ↑ |
| Name: sid | Date: Feb 2nd, 2007 10:23 PM |
| It is very normal for parents to feel over protective and over react to their own children. No worries about that and even though you are pretty much being the sole protector of that little girl it is much different now days than lets say our parents or their parents days- we have help available to us, books, television, internet, etc. I hope that all goes well at her doc app. And the disposable cameras are a great stress relief too. One day I had my huge comforter on the floor for my son to play on, went into the bedroom for a moment and when I came out he had unscrewed his rice milk all over himself (poured it over his head) and was jumping on my comforter in rice milk puddles. At first he knew he had been cought and looked immediately ashamed, I was so mad, and then I thought to myself "where is the camera?" I took pictures and he had nothing on but a diaper and was just covered from hair to toes in rice milk with this huge smile on his face from ear to ear! I love that goofy pic, it's the greatest. Just keep in mind what kind of parent that you want to be and the kind of parent that your parents were to you. Pictures will even bring a great communication grounding for when she gets older. I even took pictures of my son when he used to spit up, every time that I tried to change his diaper he would spit up and scream- so instead of getting all worked up I just took pictures- it was and is still great. ↑ |
| Name: you_dont_know_me | Date: Feb 3rd, 2007 8:22 AM |
| thank you for everything, i dont know why but something has just changed i feel a lot closer to her then when first started posting on here i think it might be because of talking to other mums in a similar situation, she has come up in a rash so the community midiwfe is coming round at 10, if you have hotmail ro msn it would be realy great to chat sometime ↑ |
| Name: sid | Date: Feb 3rd, 2007 9:07 AM |
| I don't have chat or msn but I will set one up, it would be great to chat with someone, thanks- I am very glad that you are feeling closer to her, just keep talking things out and I will keep hoping that things get better for you. take care ↑ |
| Name: you_dont_know_me | Date: Feb 3rd, 2007 10:02 AM |
| thank you for your help after all this forum was for your problem lol i kind of took it over, well miley has got a virus so shes just got to be kept cool and shes just got to drink lots of fluids hopefully it clears up, do u think she should have some calpol or something? ↑ |
| Name: sid | Date: Feb 4th, 2007 7:14 AM |
| I set up a msn messenger if you ever would like to chat, I am on and off throughout most of the day between homework and the two littles unless I am at work, but that is usually afternoon and evenings I am also at [email protected] hope that your little one is getting better and that you are finding time to take care of yourself too with rest and a bath or at least a walk outside-lol, I know it's rough to think about just running away to go to the bathroom sometimes- just wait until she starts crawling and if you are sitting on the floor with her- most likely she will want to crawl all over you- it'z the cutest I promise there is not a true heart in the world that wouldn't melt when there baby crawls to them or hugs them back for the very first time- take care ↑ |
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