Hi Everyone, My name is Ashley, I need some advice, my best friend, who is 16 years old, just got raped, her and this guy were at a party, he had too much to drink then he slipped something in her pepsi and she was out, I really don't know all the details on how he did it and she still really isn't ready to tell me, so I'm just trying to be there for her. But this happened almost two months ago and she just found out she was pregnant and now she's even more miserable then she was before. She thought of abortion, but she quickly changed her mind and she is keeping the baby. But the past few days have been really rough on her, she keeps talking about how this baby is and will be a constant reminder that she was raped, and she doesn't know if she should give the baby up for adoption or keep it. The guy who raped her feels really bad about the whole thing, which he should, idiot..he should be more in control when he's in that state of mind, but I guess you can never really be,he thinks she should keep it, but she doesnt feel its up to him. But I don't know what to tell her, in a way she wants to keep the baby, but she doesn't. What can I say to her to help comfort her, she's just not her old self anymore and I dont know what to say. I wish their were some words that could make this all better, but I'm out of ideas since the pregnancy came along. Please someone have some advice or know what I should say to her. Or maybe anyone knows someone who was in that same position, I dont know I just really want to be there for my friend, someone helppp
Thanks,
Ashley ↓
|
|
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Aug 2nd, 2006 10:37 PM |
| Do her parents know what happened to her? This guy should be locked up! If she thinks the baby will be a constant reminder of what happened then maybe she should give it up for adoption if she hasn't changed her mind and grown attached by the time the delivery date comes. All you can really do is just be her friend the way you always have. As for the creep,if she isn't going to have him arrested then at the least she should make him pay for everything if she's going to keep the baby this way maybe he will think twice before he drugs and rapes another girl again! He's lucky I'm not that girls mother. ↑ |
| Name: xbreakaway4x | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 3:08 PM |
Yeah her parents know, she just told them the other day when she found out she was pregnant, her parents are furious because we all thought this guy was our friend. When his parents found out they were furious as well. They are going to help pay for the baby if she decides to keep him/her. But he was just arrested yesterday, and I hope he stays locked up. There were so many times when I wanted to go and beat the mess out of him.
She keeps changing her mind on if she wants to keep the baby or not, yesterday she said she wanted to put the baby up for adoption, then today she called me crying saying she couldnt give it up. I'm just trying to be here for her, but I don't know what to say some of the time. I hate this happened to her, she's the nicest person ever, I dont know how anyone could do this to someone. ↑ |
| Name: Joe | Date: Aug 14th, 2006 1:21 AM |
| the very first thing she should do is tell he parents then with her parents they should go to the police then to an attorney so the booy or his parents will have to come up with some money he will have to pay till the child is 18,her life will now change a baby iks a gift from god ↑ |
| Name: Jody | Date: Aug 14th, 2006 11:07 PM |
Ashley,
I suggest your friend going to a crisis pregnancy center or a right to life center. They should provide counseling support for her and help her make a decision to parent or make an adoption plan. I would encourage her to discuss parenting with them first. If she decides to make an adoptio plan, she could contact an attorney or agency to find adoptive parents. There are tonsof adoptive parents online also.
She will need support no matteer what her decision is. Sometimes the best thing to support a friend is to just be there and listen when she needs to talk. It is heavy talking for such young adults
Jody ↑ |
| Name: Angela H | Date: Aug 17th, 2006 6:30 PM |
| Well, congratulations to your friend and I'm sorry things had to happen that way. I can't related to most of that but I did have one thing to say. The guy who I had my daughter with is probably one of the worst people I know. I hate seeing him, I hate talking to him and I honestly wish I never had to see him again, but my daughter is probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I love her more than I ever thought possible. While now and then she may make me think of her dad, more often she makes me think of me. She also has her own personality and that shines through brighter than any negativity that her dad can produce. Just because someone's dad is a jerk doesn't mean anything. I would try and get her to some counseling. Rape isn't something to be taken lightly and even if she doesn't want to press charges she should get some help for the emotional trauma he put her through. For her sake and her new baby's. Tell her Congrats and either adoption or keeping the baby are great gifts and she should be proud of herself. ↑ |
| Name: Angela H | Date: Aug 17th, 2006 6:32 PM |
| have her make a pro's and con's list and rank each item with one to five stars. I had a much longer list for giving my baby up, but it helped me to make up my mind that I wanted to keep her. It's worth a try anyway. Goodluck! ↑ |
| Name: shida Jolo | Date: Aug 27th, 2006 9:17 AM |
hello Ashely
this is shida jolo who is trying to give her advice to you it really unchristian to rape such young girl but its may be that man wanted to kill this young girl since God him self is with his people when ever they are in drouble he is just besides you pliz sister since she deliver her just forgive this man since you are her best friend do not leave her because she has ababy already just be close to her plizzzzzzzzzzzzz its just the bad habbit of this man give her all this sufferings and her parents should have the same love for her.+ ↑ |
| Name: Abesgirl | Date: Aug 30th, 2006 6:27 PM |
| You sound like a really good friend. They are hard to find. You should always have her back. I don't think abortion is a good idea because it is not the baby's fault. He/She didn't ask to come into this world. The guy that raped her should have to pay and then take on his responsibilties since he is really sorry. She should let him help take care of the baby even though he did a very disrespectful thing to her. This might be his way of saying sorry. ↑ |
|
|
