I'm 25 years old, I am graduating with my bachelors degree at the end of May, and my best friend and absolute love of my life has lost his mind. We spent the summer in Spain, and came home with a stowaway. I found out I was about 5-6 weeks pregnant towards the end of August, and ever since then we have been drifting.
He has a ridiculously hard time adjusting to new things, but this is not my first child (hence the long awaited degree). He has been a father to my other son since he was just 1 and 1/2, and now he is 9!
Right off the bat he wanted me to have an abortion. He already has a degree, a job, and we have a place together. We are both mature (or at least I thought) adults, not into the party scene or anything of that nature. We both care about animals and the environment, etc etc. I mean, 8 years is a hell of a long time.
For the past several weeks he has been even more distant. He keeps saying he doesnt want the baby, he isnt happy, etc. Last night I said, why dont we try couples counseling? He said to me, "Counseling won't make me fall back in love with you.." He told me to"just let him go.." and all of the things that tears a persons heart to shreds. We are still in the same house together, and my friends are not being supportive. They keep saying,"Oh he will come around." But you know what? Some times that just isnt true. Some times things just keep getting worse and worse until the whole thing blows up in your face like it is doing to me. Last week we found out we were having a little boy, and I swear to god, this sent him spiraling through a deeper depression. Lately I have become jealous, due to my belly increasing and just other outside factors (like the fact that my boyfriend has become a stranger to me) so I started seeing a therapist. The truth is, I'm not sure how much that is helping. I went in there bawling my eyes out over last nights news and she has little input.
I am so confused. I mean, I treat this guy like a king. I love doing things for him and doing whatever I can to elicit smiles and happiness from him. And now he threw my whole world right out the window. Everything I thought I knew is not so. And truthfully, I am not interested in dating anyone else, I thought this was my soul mate.
I don't know. This is an extremely long ramble, and if you have any advice, words of comfort, please sen them, either here or at my email address [email protected]
I am 5 months pregnant, and not a friend in the world that can relate. Thanks in advance for reading this.
Michele ↓
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